Tattoos

I'm setting the record straight: I am not into tattoos. Now, this doesn't mean that, if you have a tattoo, I think less of you as a person. Some of my best friends have tattoos. But they're not for me. I don't think I could ever care about something so much that I would want to have a representation of that thing permanently inked onto my body. Yeah, I said it. I'm selfish. I can appreciate the sentiment of tattooing a child's name, but I also think that Mommy doesn't need to have "Junior" on her lower ass/back. That's a little weird. I also think it's a bad idea to tattoo a lover's name on your body. Look at where that got Johnny Depp.

I have one gigantic tattoo no-no: wings. Listen, people. You are not angels. You are not fairies. You are certainly not bats. You do not have wings, and you never did. So why the angel wing tat, huh? Why is that cool? I'll tell you why. It's not.

I have a secondary tattoo no-no: unless you are a virtuoso studying at Mannes or Eastman or Longy or The Juilliard School, DO NOT tattoo f-holes on your back. You are not a cello.

tattoos - C-

Deep Impact

This is not a blog post about porn.

I loved Deep Impact when it came out ten years ago, and when I cuaght it on TV last night, I still loved it. It is an excellent disaster movie - protagonists die! Landmarks fall! Heroes save the world and life continues! I love it so hard.

Here's my list of the worst/best moment, and the best/worst moment. What does that even mean, you ask? Well, the worst moment is awful in that it's cheesy - it's so bad, it's good. The best moments are the ones that seem really real, and they're painful and believable, so they're good, but they also make you feel bad. So here you go:

(oh, by the way, this movie came out TEN YEARS AGO. So I don't even feel bad if I'm spoiling any of it, because you should have seen it a long time ago.)

worst/best: after the comet hits and destroys much of New York, you see the severed head of the Statue of Liberty floating by underwater. Really? Her severed head? Nice touch, Mimi Leder.

best/worst moment: the entire scene where Leelee Sobieski's mom takes off the baby sling and hands it to Leelee right before she and Elijah Wood ride off to safety on Leelee's dad's motorbike - and Lee flips the fuck out. She start by crying "no no no no" and ends with repeatedly sobbing "I'll see you soon. I'll see you soon." SO AWFUL. Oh man, if I think about it too much more, I'll probably tear up.

Deep Impact - B+

Eagle Vs. Shark

I didn't love Eagle Vs. Shark, but I didn't hate it, either. I found the story line amusing and the characters sympathetic, but they were also too awkward to be believed. Lily and Jarrod made me uncomfortable. Cute, but weird.

Eagle Vs. Shark - B-

Water for Elephants

I read this book on Sunday. Yeah, that's what I said. I read it all in one sitting - well, two sittings, I guess, since I put it down about two-thirds of the way through so I could go shopping. But then I picked it back up and devoured it.

Let me back up. I resisted reading Water for Elephants for a very long time - because I thought it was about India. Picture on the cover? Some sort of upper-class Indian society man going into... a tent. I didn't really think it through. I'm not opposed to India in general, but fictional recountings of British India just aren't my thing. But it turns out, Water for Elephants is about the circus! And I'm OK with the circus. And my maid of honor left this book up north, and I'm supposed to send it back to her, but it sat on my coffee table for a week, staring me in the face and all but demanding that I read it.

So I did. And I loved it. Characters, plot, language, the whole thing. Except the ending. Which I won't give away, but it certainly brings the grade down. Water for Elephants was captivating, engrossing, fantastic. Big thanks to Ashley for forgetting it!

Water for Elephants - A- (yes, it would have been an A, if not for those pesky last few pages)

Newness

I'm back. And I'm married.

I'm pretty sure that our wedding was great. I enjoyed it! The weather was gorgeous, lots of friends and family were there, the food was yummy and as you can see, the flowers were phenomenal.

And best of all, Nate and I got married. Aww! It's pretty much the same as living together, and I don't really feel any different, but Nate's wearing a wedding band, and I like that a lot.

Other news: later today we're going to meet our puppy. Welcome to the new popular topic of blogversation - puppies! We can bring our little guy home in about three weeks, and I am super excited. You will see plenty of pictures in the weeks to come.

wedded bliss - A
our new puppy - I - stay tuned

My Work Boyfriend

I have a work boyfriend. I'll call him Mike, because that's not his name (although I work with two nice young men named Mike, but neither of them is my work boyfriend). I don't see Mike very often - he used to come to my building once every two weeks or so, but now it's more like once every six months. I am always very happy when I know that Mike is coming in. I usually try to look cuter on days when he's going to be there - I shower, I put on eyeliner, and try to wear one of the more flattering outfits from my closet. I like to think that I "sparkle" just a little bit brighter when he's around. And there's nothing wrong with that. Sparkling is good. It's fun to get my flirt on.

Does this mean I don't love my man? Not a chance. No one needs to be threatened by Mike. He's just a diversion. But I was a little sad to hear that Mike is getting married. I was hoping that I was his secret work girlfriend.

work boyfriend - B-

The Smell of Spring

I really, really, really can't stand the smell of worms. Did you know that worms have a smell? I smell it after every spring rainstorm, and it grosses me out. And then I see worms on the sidewalk, and that grosses me out even more.
From what I hear, worms are good for the planet. But I still think they're gross.

worms - D

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

Word on the street is, Project Runway is moving to Lifetime. LIFETIME! What the fuck, Bravo? What happened? Seriously, how did this happen?

Project Runway on Lifetime is a tranny hot mess. I don't care if Tim and Heidi are still on (and that is not confirmed, one way or the other). It won't be the same. Dammit.

PR on Lifetime - F!

Hugs

I love hugs. I really do. I think that there are very few day-to-day problems that couldn't be solved by hugging it out. If you and I have any kind of friendly relationship, even if it's a friendly business relationship, I guarantee that we will hug before our time together is through. I offer hugs to many of my co-workers (some enjoy it more than others, and I feel that has more to do with my sizable chest than the closeness of our relationship) and the people I work with on an occasional basis, if I don't see them very often.
I've heard that a friend-of-a-friend doesn't like hugs. I don't understand this. If I ever meet said FoF, I will probably hug her, not only to see what happens, but because I can't help myself. I'm a hugger.
One summer, I worked at a camp where we instructed that hugs between campers and counselors could not last longer than ten seconds. At first, many of us thought that this was ridiculous... but then we timed it out. Ten seconds is a long damn hug. We were also told not to touch campers on the knee. I still haven't figured that one out.

hugs - A

Dogulating

I want a dog. I want a dog so bad that I can taste it. I want a dog like some girls want babies... which is where the term "dogulating" came from. See, I'm ovulating for a dog. I see pictures of puppies and I get all maternal and baby-talky. Oooh, look at da puppy! Ee's so cute! I wanna hold eem!

This is the kind of dog I want. In fact, this is the kind of dog I'm going to get, in about two months. Consider yourself warned. I'll probably turn into one of those people who carries around pictures of their puppy. I'm definitely going to be one of those people who takes their puppy to work. I am going to be so excited when I buy a baby gate for my office.

dogulating - A-

Resurrection

I write my blog in my head every day. EVERY DAY. I can't tell you how many times I've written those two sentences. In fact, I have a small store of topics to draw from, floating around up in my little noggin, yet for some reason, I don't write them down.

As someone once said to me, I don't know what my problem is.

But I'm not ready for my blog to be dead. I just need something to inspire me, something to make me sit up and take notice and say, Yes, that is worth blogging about. Where are my out-of-control Hollywood starlets? Where's my ridiculous headline from AOL? Where is... everyone?

feeble attempt at a comeback - B-

Oscar wrap-up

Well, the Oscars are over for another year, and I did fairly well in my predictions. I ended up with 17 out of 24 correct, which is only 71% but is better than last year - and yet, one point lower than my all-time best. Sigh. I just can't break free of 16, 17 or 18. I did best Chargenda in our yearly unofficial pool, which is awesome, since I haven't beat him since 2001. So I feel pretty good abaout that.

I also feel pretty good about trivia night last night. I went with some work buddies to the good kind of trivia, the kind that's hosted and has multiple rounds and where there's cash money as a prize if you win. It was our first foray into trivia night as a team, and although we were confident in our brain power, we weren't sure we'd finish in the money. And then they announced the bonus categories: Last Night's Oscars, and War. Now, you can imagine that we as theater employees were thrilled about the Oscar category, but what you probably don't know is that we were there with one of the biggest war buffs I've ever known. LD goes so far as to reenact World War I battles - so yeah, we were feelin' good about our chances at that point.
I knew it was going to go well when one of the three-point questions was to name the designer of the gown pictured above. Hello? Oscars and fashion? Is there any doubt I didn't know the answer?
Long story short - we won. Straight up won the whole damn thing. And we all walked a little taller on Monday because of it.

Oscar night - A-
Oscar night coming in handy at trivia (and being $15 richer) - A+

Oscar predictions

Here are my Oscar predictions for tonight; tune into tomorrow to see how I did.

Best Picture - No Country for Old Men
Best Actor - Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Actress - Julie Christie, Away From Her
Best Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Best Supporting Actress - Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Best Director - Ethan and Joel Coen, No Country for Old Men
Best Adapted Screenplay - Ethan and Joel Coen, No Country for Old Men
Best Original Screenplay - Diablo Cody, Juno
Animated Feature - Ratatouille
Foreign Language Film - The Counterfeiters
Documentary Feature - No End In Sight
Documentary Short - Freeheld
Cinematography - There Will Be Blood
Visual Effects - Transformers
Animated Short Film - Peter and the Wolf
Live Action Short Film - At Night
Art Direction - Atonement
Costume Design - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Film Editing - No Country for Old Men
Sound Mixing - The Bourne Ultimatum
Sound Editing - The Bourne Ultimatum
Original Score - Atonement
Original Song - "Falling Slowly," Once
Makeup - La Vie En Rose

Analogies

Sometimes I am so inspired by something that I feel compelled to write about it. Today, it's this:

"Seriously, these cupcakes are like puffs of heaven with the best Christmas gift ever slathered on the top."

Thank you, Dustin, and Happy Birthday.

Analogies - I love 'em. People say crazy things in the attempt to link two items together. Many of you have probably seen this, but my favorite analogy of all time comes from that venerable piece of American cinema, Steel Magnolias, when Clairee is describing the mayor's dancing wife:
"Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket."
Genius! GENIUS!

So, to continue Dustin's belated birthday celebration, I'd like to ask all my readers - what's YOUR favorite analogy?

analogies - A

What A Wonder Is A Gun

Arkansas Tech University - my alma mater and the alma mater of my brother, parents, grandparents and great-grandfather - has "postponed" a production of Stephen Sondheim's Assassins because, according to the press release, "the production, which portrays scenes of violence, was thought to be too sensitive in view of recent tragic events that have taken place on other campuses around the United States."

OK. School shootings are senseless and tragic. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who wouldn't agree with that statement. But I truly believe that a musical representation of successful and would-be presidential assassins is not going to incite violence on our nation's college campuses. Far from it. In fact, the simultaneously disturbing and funny musical could start a dialogue among college students, getting them talking about history, politics, art, violence, and the genius that is Stephen Sondheim.

Now, at Tech, they won't get the chance.

I would like to close by talking about Joe Bertucci. Joe was the director at a community theatre where I played a lot, and I learned more from him in three shows than I ever thought possible. Joe shaped the lives, both artistic and personal, of everyone he came in contact with, and I am honored that I knew him. Joe liked to borrow a phrase from FP Dunne: "It is is the duty of theatre to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Joe, I wonder what you'd make of this - in this situation, who's comfortable? Who's afflicted?

I'd like to further close with these lyrics from "Gun Song" from Assassins:
What a wonder is a gun!
What a versatile invention!
First of all when you've a gun -
Everybody pays attention!

Tech administration's poor, poor decision - F

Fashion, Doggy-Style

With the Oscars just around the corner, I know you're waiting with bated breath to read my Oscar predictions... but really, isn't a dog in a tuxedo way more fun? Especially when the dog is wearing a LEONARDO DICAPRIO-INSPIRED TUXEDO. For real.

formal attire for dogs - B

Swag

Swag is one of the greatest things ever. Now that I'm a fancy worker, I get to go to conferences, and I'm always on the lookout for which booths are giving away the best stuff. Unfortunately, most arts organizations aren't selling "products," they're selling shows, so the most likely swag you'll see at a presenters or theaters conference is a DVD or CD of some wacky kids' show or magician or Celtic crossover band. At the last conference I attended, I managed to pick up a couple pens and a sticky note pad, but nothing else cool. I think that drug companies give the best swag. There always seem to be mousepads and mugs and pens and hats, and all sorts of other things. My mom and dad used to bring home tons of stuff like that, and it was all rad.
Yesterday, I attended a birthday party at JNash's house. JNash is a dermatologist, and she had just returned from a conference... and was parting with her swag. And let me tell you, a whole new world of swag was opened up to me. I came home with sunscreen, body wash, lotion, soap, and cuticle cream; other people took bronzer, anti-wrinkle cream, a wide variety of washes and lotions, and a Coolie hat.
I should be a dermatologist.

Swag - A

Dance Revolution

I am taking a fitness class - cardio dance and pilates, specifically. What a joy. It's me, a few other "young ladies," some very overweight middle-aged ladies, some spry but slow old ladies, and one guy. I don't know his name, but I call him Tom. I shake my groove thang twice a week in a school gymnasium, and I love it. You have never seen so many grapevines in one place (except for at mid-Michigan weddings, but then, there's less spandex).

Our hardest routine is to "How We Operate" by Gomez. The beginning of the song is a little tricky, and everyone, including the instructor, gets confused. I love that she's changing it up a little, and Gomez is a nice change from all the Motown we usually get, but maybe it wasn't such a good choice if everyone spends the first thirty seconds of the song staggering around wondering where the beat it.

my bi-weekly dance party - A

She Said YES!

There is a jewelry store in town, about two blocks from my old apartment, that makes beautiful pieces of jewelry. They made my friend Jjack's engagement ring, and it is the coolest, most amazing ring I've ever seen. I've been in there once or twice, and they seem to be nice people with a good design aesthetic.

But their radio commercials are atrocious. Their biggest campaign involved Craig saying "You want to be able to tell all your family and friends that she said yes!" (side note: when I tried to publish this the first time, I increased the font size for the word "yes", and then the whole post was messed up) and let me tell you, no font in the world is large enough to convey how loud and annoying he is. Then, they did a "rap" version of the commercial that played "she said yes!" over and over. It was horrible. But the new campaign takes the cake. Bear in mind it's less than two weeks until Valentine's Day, mmmkay? Here's the gist of the new campaign: "Flowers are for wimps. You wanna show her you really love her, you gotta buy jewelry."

Excuse me? You gotta buy jewelry? You know how I know my man really loves me? When I hurt my back earlier this week, he spent an hour rubbing it and putting a heating pad on it and taking care of my sore spots. I know because he makes the coffee on Saturday mornings. I know because he picks up after my messy ass EVERY DAY. That is how I know. Not because he went to your store, Craig!

So yeah, I don't like the campaign.

Craig's new campaign - D

Oscar Nomination Predictions

UPDATE - I achieved 78% accuracy. Not great for a pregnancy test, but pretty good for Oscar predictions. If you factor in my runners-up, I had 88% accuracy. Wheeee!



Whether or not there's an Oscar ceremony on February 24, the time has come to make my predictions for who'll be nominated - because no matter what, Oscar noms are tomorrow morning. Here's what I think'll happen in the big eight categories.



Best Picture
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood
runner-up - Into the Wild
I wish - 300


Best Director
PT Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - No Country for Old Men
Sean Penn - Into the Wild
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Joe Wright - Atonement
runner-up - Ridley Scott - American Gangster
I wish - Tim Burton - Sweeney Todd

Best Actor
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Emile Hirsch - Into the Wild
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises
Denzel Washington - American Gangster
runner up - Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
I wish - Simon Pegg, Hot Fuzz

Best Actress
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie En Rose
Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart
Keira Knightley - Atonement
Ellen Page - Juno
runner-up - Laura Linney, The Savages
I wish - Amy Adams, Enchanted

Best Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild
Max von Sydow - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton
runner-up - Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War
I wish - Tommy Lee Jones, No Country for Old Men

Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Catherine Keener - Into the Wild
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton
runner-up - Ruby Dee, American Gangster
I wish - Kelly MacDonald, No Country for Old Men

Best Original Screenplay
Brad Bird, Ratatouille
Diablo Cody, Juno
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Tamara Jenkins, The Savages
Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl
runner-up - Judd Apatow, Knocked Up

Best Adapted Screenplay
PT Anderson, There Will Be Blood
Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Christopher Hampton, Atonement
Ronald Harwood, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Sean Penn, Into the Wild
runner-up - Aaron Sorkin, Charlie Wilson's War

So, we'll see.

my Oscar noms - incomplete until 8:30 AM

Movie Madness: Juno

I have been wanting to see Juno, mostly to find out for myself if all the rave reviews I've heard are true - at least, true to me. Everyone I know who's seen it keeps going on and on about the dialogue, how sharp and spot-on it is, and I'm here to tell you that... for the most part, it is. I think that at times, it was a little contrived. Yes, Juno is a tough little cookie, and yes, her rapid-fire speech and all the dialogue throughout the movie are both great. But sometimes I thought "People don't really talk like that." Kids don't say "wizard" when they mean "cool." And because of this, I didn't fully immerse myself in the movie. There were things I just couldn't get over. Nonetheless, it was a great movie. I never looked at my watch during the whole thing, which is a rarity for me. And the cast was great. I was really rooting for Jennifer Garner, who hasn't gotten a lot of mention, but she was terrific.

In summary: if the dialogue had been just a titch more believable, Juno would have gotten a straight-up A. As it is, the movie gets -

Juno - A-

American Gladiators

If you're not watching American Gladiators, you kind of suck. This show is awesome. Some of the competitors are weenies, but some of them are FIERCE.

My favorite Gladiator is Krush... she's in the front row with the dark swingy stacked haircut. My least favorite is Toa... is that guy even Samoan? Or Hawaiian? Or... anything but ust white?

American Gladiators - A-

BRIDAAAAAL SHOOOOWWW!

Oh yes, I'm getting married soon, but did you know that I'm also a maid of honor in a wedding in October? Wheeee! I love being a bridesmaid, and this wedding is extra fun - all of the cool things about planning a wedding, since now I'm "in the know," but none of the pressure, since it's not my wedding. Thanks, EJ! So I went with EJ and Mom of EJ to a bridal show this afternoon, to watch a fashion show and check out some vendors. Some stuff was cool - good photographers, a delicious bite of lemon cake, lovely gowns on display... but then there were the doves. Yes, dove release is still a possibility at your wedding, but the latest and greatest trend is lace doves, with some extra wispy feathers that "complement the lace on a bride's dress." And sure enough, there were lace doves on display at the bridal show - except they were wild-eyed and insane. EJ said they looked rabid.

Next week is Bridal World, which, from what I understand, is a whole world of bridal junk. Wooey wip wip!

bridal shows - B
rabid doves - D+

Friendship Bracelets

I've been thinking about friendship bracelets a lot lately. I remember that I used to wear about a gazillion at a time, especially when I was in elementary school. But I think I should start making them again. I don't do anything crafty, except for scrapbooking, and that's not something you can take with you on a plane or on a car trip, and you can't give the finished products to friends. Well, I suppose you can, but they can't wear it.

I could never do anything fancy - just something like the ones pictured here, but none of the patterns or spelling out names or anything like that. But I need something to do with my hands while I'm watching TV or sitting at the airport - and please, no dirty comments.

friendship bracelets - B

Thank You, Britney

For days, I've been sayin "I need to blog again," but I don't really need to recap Christmas or New Year's, and nothing else is going on that I felt I could craft into a well-spun story. And I was looking back over my blog from months past and thinking, "Damn, I used to be funny... what happened? Where's my joy and inspiration? Why can't I think of anything to write about?"
And then Britney Spears went and locked herself and her baby in a room and wouldn't give the kid over to K-Fed and now is on a 72-hour mental health lockdown. So, thanks, Britney.

Britney's meltdown - B-
Britney's meltdown acting as the catalyst for me to get off my lazy tookus and blog again - A+!

She's Not! That! Innocennnnnt!

OK, I realize that all sorts of people are going to be blogging about and commenting on Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy. I could have taken the high road and not commented... but where's the fun in that?

I have to hand it to Jamie Lynn. She has single-handedly taken the heat off Britney, which I didn't think was possible. While many have dubbed Britney the Trainwreck of 2007, I think that JL's little announcement may have derailed that train (nice follow-through on train analogy!). The only thing that will keep Britney on top is if she, too, is pregnant, and does something completely whack like lets JL use K-Fed for Lamaze support.

What's next for celebrity siblings? Haylie Duff with veneers? Aliana Lohan in rehab? Time will tell. It always does on the mean streets of Tinseltown.

Jamie Lynn's bun in the oven - C- (at least six more months of Spears family coverage in the tabloids - wheee!)

Project Runway Recap

OK, Project Runway, you're starting to lose me. I will never fully leave you - much like how I feel about ER, or how my dad feels about the Dallas Cowboys, you will always be my favorite reality show, and I'm not giving up on you... but this crop of designers isn't moving me, and the challenges haven't been that exciting yet, and WHERE ARE THE MODELS!? Every other week, there's some crazy challenge that means the designers have to use other models, or it's a group challenge and we only see half the girls. Of course, maybe it's because the models aren't as good this season, either. Where's the drama? Where are the innovative outfits? Where are the tears? Oh, right, Ricky provides the tears.

This week's episode: we said farewell to Jack, who left the show due to a raging staph infection in his lip. I was getting into Jack, but it has to be said - that infection made him look like a monkey. But I have to give some credit to Bravo for bringing back Chris, who was auf'd last week. Aside from him leaving too early in the first place (Ricky's good TV, but his look last week was no good), it's good to have the "right" number of designers for this stage of the competition. It would have felt like there were too few people.
I didn't love this challenge - make clothes out of pre-existing clothes. Haven't we seen this before - season 2, the second challenge, Kirsten didn't use that scarf? Again, it's great that they honored the women who had lost a bunch of weight, and some of the designs were really good, but I am ready to see something spectacular - like the couture challenge or dog challenge from season 3, or the garden challenge from season 2. Please, Bravo - put the spice back in my favorite show!

Project Runway - B

Movie Madness: American Gangster

I can best sum up this movie by paraphrasing my good buddy ES, with whom I saw this decent film last night: "I felt like I've seen it before." This is not to say that it was bad - on the contrary, we both thought it was quite good. But the story line's the same as it ever was: there's a bad guy, doing some bad stuff, there's a cop, doing some stuff that's not perfect, but not as bad as the stuff the bad guy's doing, and the cop is going to bring the bad guy to justice. Simple as that, right? Going into this movie, you have to think that the bad guy is going to get caught eventually, because even if it's based on a true story, movies like this don't get made where the ending is "good guy sucks, bad guys win." It just doesn't happen (here's where the film buffs tell me I'm wrong and name movies where this happens - go ahead! I'm curious!). Two things I really liked: the countless fine actors who appeared in this movie - you never knew who would be on screen next; the violence - yes, I had to cover my eyes, because sometimes it was really, really bad, but it was completely appropriate for a film about a GANGSTER. Come on, violence haters! It's based on a true story, so roll with it.
Oscar worthy? In any other year, I'd say a lock for Best Adapted Screenplay, but not up against all the other stuff coming out. Maybe a nod for Denzel, but not Russell, and maybe for the aged Ruby Dee, who had a dynamite scene that everyone's talking about. That's all it takes for a supporting nomination, one phenomenal scene, and boy, does she have it.

American Gangster - B

Two Weeks

Here's a recap of the last two weeks:

Project Runway of 12/5 - B: it is not nearly as exciting this season as it has been in season's past, I'm not rooting for anyone yet, and Michael Kors and I are still bored

having a cold - D-

clothes shopping - A-: I have found a few new cute things, and my wardrobe is getting better all the time

J. Crew short-length pants - A

needing a haircut - C+

less than two weeks until my Christmas vacation - A

possible airport delays - D- (will certainly become an F if they actually happen)

Project Runway Recap

I really only have one thing to say about this week's episode of PR: Ginny Barber looks like Kimora Lee Simmons.

OK, I'll say more. I was a little disappointed by the episode. I think that the majority of the designers fell flat in the menswear challenge, and I was certainly expecting more drama when Jack used his shorts as a pattern for pants. I supposed that the drama could still surface, especially since he won the challenge - could it be that the shorts were an unfair advantage, and maybe he'll be disqualified? Doubtful, but it would be interesting. I didn't really like Jack's outfit. The stripes were too much for me. I thought Kit should have won. That fleece jacket was may-jah.

Project Runway - B+ (as Michael Kors would say, I'm bored - spice it up a little!)

Movie Madness: Enchanted

I can't even lie and say I saw this because of the Oscar buzz surrounding Amy Adams' performance (although it didn't hurt). No, I saw this movie because I straight up wanted to. The trailers looked precious, I love P-Demps, Amy Adams is adorable and I just wanted to have a feel-good movie experience. So there.
This movie was everything I thought it would be. Amy Adams was perfect as Giselle, the cartoon princess who is banished to real-world NYC by an evil queen. She meets P-Demps and he helps her out... and of course he falls in love with her! He was perfect, too - very believable as the harried lawyer/single father too busy to believe in the fairy tale version of love. I like him. I also really liked James Marsden, who plays Prince Edward, Giselle's true love who comes down to New York to rescue his bride. He was completely ridiculous and had some of the best lines in the whole thing.
Oddly, Susan Sarandon as the evil Queen Narissa was the weak link. She did this weird flicking thing with her tongue that was just too much for me.
And the musical numbers were fabulous! There are only a few, but they're all wonderful and over-the-top (in a good way). I think that Alan Menken and Steven Schwartz will get nominated for an Oscar for one of them.
If you're looking for a feel-good movie that you don't have to think too hard about, then this might be the one for you.

Enchanted - B

Movie Madness: La Vie En Rose

This is one of those movies that I felt obligated to see. Marion Cotillard is receiving HUGE Oscar buzz for her performance as Edith Piaf, French singer and tragic figure, and you know me - if it's got Oscar buzz, I have to see it. But other than that, I wasn't really interested. I don't know a whole lot about Edith Piaf, and what I do know is that the sound of her voice bothers me. Or so I thought. More on that later.

Marion Cotillard is truly outstanding in this film. Not knowing anything about EP, I can't say that no one else could have played this role, but who cares? Marion completely embodied this role, and turned Edith Piaf into a real person and not a caricature of a real person. She acted the hell out of this. She WILL receive an Oscar nomination, and she'll probably win.

But as a whole, I didn't love this movie. It used a filmmaking device I like to call "FUBAR Chronology." Basically, this film starts in the middle, then goes back to the beginning, then a little before the middle, then later than the beginning, then the end, then back to just after the middle, then... you get the idea. But unlike Pulp Fiction, which also employs FUBAR Chronology, LVER just confused me. I never really knew what time I was watching - was this before the collapse, or after? Before the brothel, or after? Before or after the boxing match? That sort of thing. Ultimately, it kept me from being totally taken in by the story - I never forgot I was watching a movie. Also, as BHunt says, it's just another biopic. A good one, sure, and Marion Cotillard was awesome, but in this age of Ray and Walk the Line, I'm sort of over singer biopics.

One more thing - Edith's voice! It grew on me. I think that seeing "her" sing helped, but I still don't think I want an Edith Piaf album in my collection.

La Vie En Rose - B

Movie Madness: No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men had three things going for it: it's gotten some Oscar buzz, Nate wanted to see it, and I could get in free. When these stars align, you know I have to see it. I wasn't disappointed. NCFOM was pretty awesome. It wasn't one of those movies that I left thinking "that movie was awesome (like Capote);" I had to think about it for a little bit. In fact, I'm still thinking about it - in a good way. Because it was that awesome. Let's start with the scenery and cinematography. NCFOM had a Brokeback Mountain feel to it at times - little people and cars in a huge, empty expanse of land. I like that. I also like some of the interesting camera angles chosen for certain shots. The sound is also pretty cool - I think. The big downfall of the theater where I saw this film is that it's right above a super hip cool trendy clothing store, and you can hear the bass of the store's music through the floor and walls of the theater. Nonetheless, I could tell that the soundtrack (and by that I mean the music and the sound effects) is good and perfectly fitting for the film.
But when it comes down to it, a film makes or breaks itself for me in the actors - and these actors made the film. Tommy Lee Jones was great. He was just the right amount of new character with the perfect dose of the TLJ we see in every movie. He plays a small-town Texas sheriff... of course he does. And Josh Brolin and Kelly MacDonald were great, too. When you see this movie, think about the fact that Miss Kelly is from Glasgow, Scotland. Just... think about it.

Ultimately, this movie belongs to Javier Bardem. He is nothing short of sensational. If I were a high-powered movie reviewer, I would say that he is a "revelation." He completely embodied this role, in a way that I bet haunts him at night. I truly feel that if he is not nominated for an Oscar for this, every Academy voter must have been smoking drugs at the same time.

By all means, go see this.

No Country for Old Men - A

Project Runway Recap

Oh Project Runway, I am thankful for you. Here's why: Sarah. Jessica. Parker. She never even crossed my mind. You picked the perfect guest judge... although I am VERY skeptical of her Bitten line. Steve and Barry's? Really? The last thing I bought at S&B's was a yellow polo shirt, and it shrank after the first wash. But, it was $5.99. So there. Sarah Jessica Effin' Parker. I love it. I feel like she dialed it down and was more real, less Carrie Bradshaw, for her stint as a judge. Way to go, SJP.

As for the challenge: I appreciate that the designers needed to make something that retailed for less than $40, but it was also incredibly disheartening to see what chintzy material the designers used, since most of my clothes retail for less than $40. Also, why the leggings? If Project Runway designers not only endorse leggings but MAKE them, I fear for the state of fashion. Ricky's dress was adorable. I liked Victorya's dress, and the little vest was super cute, but I can't see any "real woman" wearing that vest. It was way too tiny. As for Elisa and Sweet P... I stand by my opinion that the cape was lame. Who buys capes? And Elisa needs to go with a different color. That's two weeks in a row of teal/turquoise.

Ricky's the crier this season! I'm glad that's settled.

Project Runway - A

Six Degrees

Hi - I (zero) have a brother (that's one).









My brother is close personal friends with Felicity Huffman (that's two).











Felicity is on a hit show with Eva Longoria (that's three).











Eva has recently opened a restaurant with Todd English (four), where a nice young man named Seth is the main man in charge in the kitchen (five).






My bestie is Seth's sister.

So you see? Even if we didn't know each other, we'd still be only six degrees away from knowing each other. Awesome.

Six Degrees of Separation - A

Oooohhh!

My parking structure has a new elevator lobby, and it is very fancy. Not quite as fancy as this picture, but pretty close - the floors appear to be made of marble, in a lovely shade of light brown. Actually, it's just the floors that are fancy. Everything else needs to be finished, like the bare walls and exposed electrical wires and buttons, but the floor is beautiful. But I wonder at its necessity. It's just a parking structure, where hundreds of office workers park every day, but nothing more than that. Is this why my monthly fee went up so much?

fancy parking structure lobby floor - B+

Project Runway Recap

First, big props to Blogging Project Runway - they had this awesome photo over on their blog, and I'm borrowing it. Thanks, BPR!

Next, if you haven't watched the show yet, stop reading now.

Well, I need a little more time to get accustomed to this crop of designers, but I think I'm really going to like Rami, Carmen, Kevin and Chris. Rami's design was my favorite of the challenge, and he won! It was totally deserved. I also really liked Jack's design, but I think at some point his queeniness is going to make me not like him as a person. Time will tell.

Elisa is whackadoo. I knew she wasn't going to get kicked off because she is good TV. But seriously, that dress was a nightmare.

Project Runway premiere - A-

Photos: (top, l-r) Christian, Elisa, Jack, Jillian and Chris
(middle, l-r) Carmen, Kevin, Sweet P, Marion and Kit
(bottom, l-r) Rami, Simone, Steven, Victorya and Ricky
photos courtesy of Bravo and BPR

Project Runway!

Wheeeee! I am so excited for the premiere of Project Runway season 4. I'm getting ready by wearing my most fashion-forward outfit and telling all my co-workers "you're out." Of course, I have to work tonight, but if I know Bravo like I think I do, I'll be able to watch the instant reply at 11 PM. There aren't too many shows I'm willing to stay up for, but PR is one of them.
There is a bit of overexposure as far as the new contestants go, but I still don't know anything about them (figure that one out). I want to hate Christian - he's the one who says "I'm kind of a big deal" - but Tim Gunn says he's a prodigy and I bet his clothes are awesome. But Nate says that there always has to be a villian: Wendy Pepper, Santino/Zulema, Jeff (and especially Marcel and Hung from Top Chef). I predict that's the role Christian will play - the man you love to hate. I can't tell who I'm rooting for yet. If PR plays out like a typical reality show, a woman will win this season, probably a minority - so good luck, Carmen and Victorya! Keep watching.

Project Runway - A!

The FUUUTURRRRRE!

On Halloween, I got my palm read. I've always wanted to get my palm read - there was a weird little place where I went to college that would do palm readings and crystal ball gazings, and back in the '90s, it was ten bucks per reading. What a bargain. I love Arkansas. But on Halloween, it was a fun extra part of a concert at work, so I had Dr. Voodoo read my palm. He told me that I'm attracted to assholes. He also told me that I need to be more assertive and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt over and over. He also told me that it was possible that I would probably have one child. Yeah, thanks for the specificity. Good times.

palm reading - B-

Scab

Since I am not a member of the Writers Guild of America, I am not crossing any picket lines to continue writing this blog. I suppose that, in a show of solidarity, I could refuse to write until the Hollywood writers get their due... but that's no fun. Besides, I have stories. Stay tuned.

writers' guild strike - C (I support their decision to get what they think they deserve, but I do worry about the effect it will have on my TV/movie watching)

All I Want For Christmas...

... is for this rumored pair to be true. Please, Santa, will you bring me an Ashley Olson/Lance Armstrong canoodling in Cannes picture? Puh-LEEEEEZE?



surprising celebrity couples - A

J. Crew

Dear J. Crew,
I love you. I love your colors. My favorite look this season is your bright pink hoodie over a poplin shirt patterned with skiers. So cute, and so deliciously cozy-preppy. But if our relationship is ever going to flourish like it should, a couple things need to change.
1 - your sizing. Your stores tell me that I'm too fat, that you don't stock clothes in my size, and if you do, they are way too long because you don't have short-length pants. But I have a feeling that you've changed your sizes, that a real 10 is a J. Crew 8, a 12 a J. Crew 10, and so on. But I'll never really know, because I see that you don't have "my size" in your store, and I would never try on something that appears to be two sizes too small.
2 - your prices. That pink hoodie I love so much? Seventy-four dollars. For a hooded sweatshirt. The cute little poplin button-down shirt? Eighty-four dollars. That is way too much, J. Crew. When I wandered over to the sale rack the other day, you had a super cute navy-and-lavender cotton button-down, but marked down it was still about eighty bucks - because it had originally been $120. I'm sorry, dear, but that is just too much for what it was. I know some people will pay it, but not me. I won't even buy your $28 headbands.

I'm sorry.

J. Crew - C

Euphemisms

On Saturday, I took Nate and his two friends out to dinner as part of Nate's Good Times Birthday Weekend. We had delicious Indian food and a righteous time was had by all, and since I was feeling generous, I decided to pay for all the boys. Now, you should know that all these guys fancy themselves to be ninjas. There was much sparring and wrestling and purchasing of training tools earlier in the day, and I like to show that I can hang, at least as far as the witty repartee is concerned, so when they all started thanking me (because they are ninjas with manners) I said "You're welcome... no problem... but I'll be taking it out of your ass later on."
At which point Nate choked a little on his water and the other two ninjas said "WHOA! Didn't know it was going to be that kind of weekend! Har har har!" And then I realized: the euphemism "take it out of your ass" implies nothing more than a beatdown to me (i.e. "I'm going to take this out of your ass by tanning your hide"), but means something much... naughtier to most other people. How did I miss this? Was I absent the day the teacher explained this? And more importantly, am I really the only person who thought a different meaning was THE meaning?

Cast your votes in my comments section. "Take it out of your ass:" regular ol' spanking or something dirtier?

euphemism misinterpretation - C+

Dog Sitting

Nate and I have been dog sitting for the past few days. I sort of viewed it as a trial run for when we get our own dog, whenever that fateful day may be.
Sloane is, I believe, half terrier, half gazelle. She has the slimmest body and longest legs of any tine dog I've ever seen. And she can jump very high. One of my favorite things that she did is, when I was getting ready to take her for a walk and got her leash out, she would walk behind me and jump and use her front paws as a lever to springboard off my butt. It was hilarious. I wish there was a video of it. Sloane is also very cuddly. She liked to sit right next to me on the couch while I was watching TV, and sometimes she would rest her little face on my leg... so sweet!
But it wasn't all candy and roses. Sloane is a bit of a barker. By the end of her stay in our apartment, she was pretty good about giving one small bark when someone would come into the building, but on day one, she went nutso anytime the outer door opened or closed. Much time was spent saying "No barking!" Also, one day I got her poo on my hand. I'm not sure how this happened, but it was less than awesome.
We really enjoyed having Sloane stay at our house, and we miss her already. Come back, little lady!

Sloane - B+

Mr. Impatient

Allow me to set the scene: I arrived in the elevator vestibule of the parking structure where I park every day, after a long and productive day - meetings, paperwork, numerous phone calls, etc. Ready to go home, yes, but not in a huge yank or anything. I had already pushed the 'down' button for my elevator, and the light had gone out, meaning the elevator was on the ground floor, just getting situated and the doors hadn't opened yet.
Cut to: impatient guy. He speed-walks into the vestibule, comes to a halt in front of the elevator doors, sees the light on the down button not lit up, and pushes the button in rapid-fire succession about eight times. Whoa, buddy! It's on its way! The doors open, he gets in first, pushes the '6' button, asks me my floor (7- I was a little late), then pushes the 'close doors' button. Nothing happens - I think elevators are programmed to wait a minute before taking off, in case someone else comes tearing around the corner - so they guy pushes the 'close doors' button four or five more times. I'm starting to get the picture here. The doors close and we head up. We reach six, and the elevator does what it is supposed to do: stop and settle. The doors never open immediately when the elevator stops, right? Because that could be potentially bad, if there had been a malfunction or something. But Mr. Impatient can't stand it, and he drums his fingernails on the elevator door. Yes, the sign of impatient people everywhere, but in an enclosed space with one other person! It was so bizarre.
As soon as the doors open, he bolted out of the elevator to his car. I hope he didn't get hung up at a bunch of red lights on his way home.

Mr. Impatient - D+

Bikes

I think that bikes are a great alternative to cars for the health-conscious consumer without a lot of money. Let's face it - you don't have to buy gas, or pay car insurance, or take care of those pesky parking tickets, and all the while you stay fit. But last night, on my way home from work in the dark, I saw some bad bikers.
1 - the girl without the helmet, the least of the offenses. She had a flashing white headlight and a flashing red-and-yellow backlight, so she was doing her part to stay visible, but I think she needed a helmet.
2 - the guy without the helmet or headlight wearing a dark shirt. I feel that if bikers are going to observe the rules of the road at night, they should be wearing reflective gear, or one of those cool lights.
3a - the guy without the helmet or headlight who rode across the road against the signal - meaning that even though oncoming traffic had the green light, he rode across anyway. This is colossally dumb.
3b - the same guy was wearing headphones. This pisses me off. Maybe he was enjoying some tunes, but I tell you what, when he doesn't hear somebody honking at him and gets clobbered, he won't be enjoying those tunes when he's learning how to feed himself again.

I also saw, much to my horror, a good biker - helmet, headlight, light-colored shirt - fall off her bike into traffic and nearly get straight up runned over. It was awful. And all this happened in one short drive home. I had to eat cheese and crackers to soothe myself.

bikers - B-

Ella Minnow Pea

I read Ella Minnow Pea last week. This is one of those books that I see every time I go to the bookstore and think, Wow, I should really get that. So I did. And it was AWESOME. I loved it.
Ella Minnow Pea is a story about a girl named, naturally, Ella Minnow Pea. She lives on the island of Nollop, named after Nevin Nollop, the man who coined the phrase "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." It is a tiny independent nation in love with language, but all hell breaks loose when letters start falling off the statue of Nevin Nollop - and the town elders take this as a sign that those letters should be removed from language altogether... and to the delight of gimmicks everywhere, author Mark Dunn drops those letters from the novel. It's pretty incredible. The first letter to fall (don't worry, I'm not ruining anything for you) is Z - not incredibly dramatic, given its minimal usage - but then falls Q, then D, then J... and soon all manner of bad things happen. Can Ella save her town, her nation, and the English language?

Also noteworthy is this is an epistolary novel. Wow, look at the new word I know! This means that the whole novel is written in letter form - letter as in "Dear Cousin Ella." It's very fun, and I like it.

Ella Minnow Pea - A-

Try It, You Might Like It

At a recent work gathering, when fancy drinks and snacks were so generously purchased by my place of business, I decided to branch out from the things I usually would order and try something new. First up: the Pimm's Cup. I've been reading about the Pimm's Cup for years - they're mentioned all the time in one of my favorite book series. I did a little research on Pimm's this morning, so that you too can know what I'm talking about: Pimm's is its own kind of liquor, sort of like Southern Comfort, but Pimm's is gin-based (had I known that in advance, I wouldn't have ordered it - I'm not into gin). Pimm's Cups are traditionally made with Pimm's No. 1 and lemon soda or sometimes ginger ale, and always garnished with a cucumber. That's fun. I'd never seen one on a menu before, so I retracted my offer for a Cosmopolitan and tried the Pimm's instead. And... it was OK. I didn't love it. It was too much like champagne, or ginger ale, and I don't really like those, either, and it also didn't have a lot of flavor. I would have been better served getting that Cosmo, or just a beer.

Next up: mussels. Yes, I had never had a mussel before last night. I tend to not be into shellfish, and I think that it's a waste to try (read: pay for) something that I probably won't like - but this was one of those "get an order and pass it around and share" sort of things, so I tried one. And... I didn't like it, and this was not a surprise. It was the texture, sure, but I also didn't like the flavor.

I wonder why I don't like this fancy stuff. If we had gone to Buffalo Wild Wings for nachos and beer, I would have been all over it.

trying something new - A
not liking something new - C