Wednesday, November 05, 2014

A Story About Soda

When I was a younger person, I drank a lot of Coke. When I became a slightly older person, I drank waaaaay too much Coke. Let me put it to you this way: at my prime, I was probably drinking up to 100 oz. of Coke a day (that's five 20-oz. bottles, for those who want to understand how such a thing is even possible). And sure, I was living a more "active lifestyle," but you can interpret that as dancing at frat parties. I drank a lot of Coke, OK? But not a lot of coffee. I only drank coffee at the truck stop, late at night (not a lot to do in my college town after 11 PM), with tons of cream and sugar. Mostly, thought, it was Coke.

One night, I went to hear my friend's band play, at a coffee shop, and I drank about six cups of coffee LOADED with cream and sugar. I know the sugar was bad, but I still believe the real culprit was the coffee, and its caffeine that I didn't know how to process because I only dealt with Coke caffeine. Long story short, I woke up at 2 in the morning convinced I was having a heart attack. My heart was RACING. It was super scary.

Well, this fateful day was right before Ash Wednesday, so I decided to give up Coke for Lent. Presbyterians don't necessarily give things up for Lent, but this seemed like a reasonable length of time that I could go without Coke.
Let me tell you what - I was MEAN as a snake for the first four days. Horrible headache, short temper, full of angst and woe. For four days... maybe a week. But after that, I was pure as the driven show. I didn't drink a Coke for all of Lent - 46 days if you count it the way I did. And by the end, I had lost not only 15 pounds, but the desire to drink Coke. Sure, I fell off the wagon a couple times (my year at Bennigan's was especially bad - they had those little cone cups in a dispenser so I could just get a shot of Coke), but the last time I actually drank a full cup of Coke was about five years ago, at a bar, because I didn't feel like drinking booze.  And it was bar gun Coke.  Which is WORSE.  It had some other soda remnants mixed in, and it was nasty.  Never again.  But sometimes, I just want an em-eff soft drink.  Which is where root beer comes in.  Oh, do I love root beer.  It is so delicious.

I think this is usually the point in the story where I talk about the dentist.  (full disclosure: I started writing this post about three years ago)  I didn't go to the dentist for seven years: the whole time I was in college, drinking all that Coke, plus one year after that when I still didn't have health insurance, plus one year when I DID have dental insurance but didn't have my act together enough to find a dentist.  When I finally went to the dentist, I had SEVEN CAVITIES.  That's one for every year I didn't go to the dentist.

The moral of the story here is watch your sugary soda intake.  And drink more coffee!

delicious icy cold Coke products - A
too many icy cold Coke products - D

hello again.

I hardly even know what a blog is anymore, in this world of Instagram and facebook status updates.  (seriously, Blogger doesn't even recognize Instagram as a word that's spelled correctly).  But I'm feeling nostalgic, so this happened.

I'm supposed to give something a grade, right?  SEE!?  Who am I!?

Oh, that's who I am.  A lady who didn't wash her hair before going on the radio, because hey, it's radio.  But look at how good my hair looks. 

showering every other day - A+