Saturday, June 23, 2007

An Open Letter to Chorizo

Dear Chorizo,

It makes me sad to say this, but I feel I don't know who you are anymore. It's been so long since we've been together. I've forgotten how you smell, how you taste, the way you look longingly into my eyes on cold winter's nights. Why has this happened, Chorizo? And why do you send your "friends" to ask me how you are? There's this one guy, Anonymous, who keeps asking me about you. Doesn't he know that I don't know how you are? Why, Chorizo, why!?

I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you. But seriously, I don't think I can go on like this much longer.
chorizo - I

(happy now, anonymous-whoever-you-are?)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Comfort Food

Frannie Farmer asked me to write about comfort food, and for me, this is an easy one. Long before I was working on my wedding, the best way for me to cure my blues was a Brides magazine and a bag of miniature Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The mini cups have the perfect peanut butter to chocolate ratio (MUCH better than the big ones), and part of the pleasure comes from the near-constant unwrapping. Just thinking about opening the little wrappers and popping the cup in my mouth, all while flipping through the pages of ads and flower arrangements, makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside.
My other favorite comfort is Campbell's Nacho Cheese soup, heated to a fairly thick consistency, used as a dipping sauce for tortilla chips. I call this "nachos." It's not really nachos - those involve meat, beans, lettuce and numerous other toppings - but whenever I feel a little puny, I go to the grocery store, pick up a can of nachos, some milk (if I'm out) and some chips, and heat it up. And even though the after effects of my nachos and mini Reese's stay with me, on my hips and thighs, it's worth it.

mini Reese's - A-
nachos - A

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Peach asked me to write about trilogies - and how can I say no to such a brilliant request? Although it seemed that Peach wanted me to comment on Pirates of the Carribean, Shrek, or Spiderman, and I haven't seen the third of any of 'em, so I have to leave them off. Sorry, Peach.

When looked at as a lump sum, trilogies are destined to fail. No movie can compare to its brothers - one is always going to be called "the worst of the three." However, when taken individually, the films that make up a trilogy can be considered some of the most entertaining out there. Here are my top five trilogy components:
5. Back to the Future - set up the whole thing - loved it!
4. Return of the Jedi - most people like Empire better, but I really dig those Ewoks, as well as the opening scene - when Han Solo says "I'm having delusions of... grandeur!", it gets me every time
3. Koyaanisqatsi - OK, I've never seen the whole thing, much less the whole trilogy, and I really only included this to be artsy and snobby, but the images and music are pretty outstanding
2. The Return of the King - oh, when little Hobbit sings that song during the battle sequence, I totally lose it
1. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - I. Love. This. Movie. I love everything about it.

And there you have it.

trilogies - B

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

She's Gonna Love You Long Time

Oh man, I am going to see Fergie tonight at the Fillmore Detroit, and I really hope she wets herself again!

free (for me) Fergie concert - B+

if Fergie pees her pants - A+!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Ice Cream

My good buddy Bethro asked me to write about either ice cream or coffee, and for me, the choice was easy. I LOVE ice cream. I have so many things to say about ice cream - and they just might fulfill some of the other requests people have made recently...

To begin, there is no choice but waffle cone. Sugar cones are fine if you're trying to watch your weight, but really, if you're that concerned about it, you shouldn't be eating ice cream in the first place! Waffle cones give a better ice cream to cone ratio, and the cone itself is much better than a sugar cone.

As for flavors... to each his own, I suppose, but I prefer the vanilla based options. Fruit flavors and actual ice cream don't go well together, I think - that's why you'll never see me eating peach ice cream or strawberry ice cream (toppings are a different story, but more on that later). I can eat the hell out of some chocolate chip cookie dough or Black Bear. In a pinch, a chocolate-based ice cream such as Bear Claw will do, and there's always Mint Chocolate Chip for an especially hot summer day. But nine times out of ten I eat vanilla-based ice creams. As for toppings, Hershey's Chocolate Syrup is far and away the best ever. Strawberries are good, and caramel is good, and other fresh fruit options are yummy, too. But I don't like those nasty things that harden when they hit the ice cream - Magic Shell? Gross.

One of the things that's NOT awesome about my new apartment is it's proximity to ice cream. Right now, I live two blocks from a delightful neighborhood ice cream shop, and I will miss it when I can't walk there. Also, since Nate shares my love for ice cream and neither of us really give a damn about wedding cake, we're planning on having an ice cream bar at the wedding. Several flavors, toppings, brownies, bananas, and maybe some Coke or root beer. YUM!!!

ice cream - B+

Thursday, June 07, 2007


Meggie suggested I write about Interlochen (she also suggested I write about how much I miss her, but that'll have to wait a few days). For those that don't know, I used to work at Interlochen, an arts boarding school in the cold northern reaches of my great state. And although I can (and will) say many wonderful things about the place, I'll start with the bad stuff - because you know that's the fun part! These days, I call Interlochen "Crazylochen." There's something unnatural about a boarding school environment, not just for the students who attend school there, but for the poor saps who live in the dorm with the kids and are basically forced into being "friends" with their co-workers - because, let's face it, in the cold snowy woods surrounded by fifteen-year-olds, if you don't make friends with your co-workers, you're not going to have any friends. Also, because of the whole "I live where I work" thing, and the whole "I am surrounded by the same 19 adults all the time" thing, Crazylochen breeds some drama among its staff - just your basic, run-of-the-mill stuff, but you can't escape from it (did I mention that I lived where I worked?). Finally, and perhaps worst of all, in the short time I worked there, some unsavory characters worked there. Every year I was there, at least two people got fired for doing bad things with the kids - most drinking and general carousing. The environment is very appealing for young adults, and I think a lot of people had a difficult time being "grown-ups" when they were surrounded by teenagers.

It must be said that Crazylochen isn't ALL bad. For one thing, all that craziness and "forced friendship" can really draw people together - when you find the people you want to be friends with, you become really tight. Some of my nearest and dearest used to work with me at Interlochen - and while on some level we're all emotionally scarred by the experience, we were brought together because of it. Also, and this is the most important part, the kids are AMAZING. They are so talented. I know that some day, some new actor or writer or singer or painter will be winning all kinds of awards and I'll be able to day "She lived on my hall at Interlochen!" I miss it there sometimes - the energy with those artists around is awesome, even in the cold snowy hell that is February.

Interlochen - B

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

MTV vs. The Big Four

Yay for requests! I have things to write about, and although they're not necessarily by choice, they're good choices.
Christa asked me to write about MTV vs. network television, and I am more than happy to oblige. MTV and VH1 are great - in the morning. I watch videos to start my day, which is way better than morning news shows. No one in their right mind starts the day with stories about war, disease, job loss, weather, and "human interest"stories about spring fashions. PLEASE, PEOPLE! I'd like to make my official pitch to all of you to watch music videos in the morning. Take, for example, the latest Rihanna video for Umbrella. This video is great. Nate loves the choreography and I love the costumes. It's one of those videos that makes my day complete.

But at night? There's no contest - network television wins hands down. I abhor shows like Scarred and Punk'd and Run's House and shit like that. Nunh-unh! I need a scripted dramedy like Grey's Anatomy - or if it has to be reality, then make it talent-based reality like So You Think You Can Dance or American Idol, not personality-based reality like Survivor or any dating show. I'll admit that the VH1 rock docs are captivating, particularly Last Days of Left Eye (and VH1 tends to be sharper and classier than MTV anyway), but those documentaries are few and far between. And I can only watch countdown shows so often before my brain rots - I'm over I Love The '80s.

Final grades?
MTV/VH1: before 10 AM - A-, after 10 AM, D+
network television: before 10 AM, C-, after 10 AM, B+
Bravo: when Law and Order is on, C-, when everything else is on, A

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


I have many exciting things going on in my life. I am getting married in less than a year. I am moving into a new apartment in six weeks. I have recently taken on a lot of new responsibilities at work. And yet - I have nothing to say. I don't do anything worth blogging about. For one thing, I don't want to write about work, for fear that my boss might read my blog. The last thing I want is to lose my job because I write about work - didn't that happen to some people? I also don't want to write about my wedding. People don't need to read about my favors or placecards or any of that other stuff. And I don't want to write about my new apartment because I don't have any pictures.

Here's where you come in. I'm taking requests. I'll write about (and grade!) anything you ask me to. ANYTHING. So - what do you want me to write about?

taking requests - B- (could be sweet!)