Friday, March 31, 2006

North American Security Summit? Riiiiiiiiight

There is NO WAY these guys are actually having a "security summit" in Cancun. This is North American Leader Spring Break. Stephen Harper is doing body shots off of Vicente Fox, and Bush is in the corner with a margarita bigger than his head, yelling "Show us your tits!"

Props to Fox for that super-fly hat.

the security summit IN CANCUN - C

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Epson Printer

Nate bought a printer/scanner/copier yesterday, and it lives under my computer. This is kind of exciting. Before this, I had to save all of my documents to disk, take the disk into the playroom (Nate's weapons, music stuff and the video game set-up), and print from that computer. It's kind of a pain. Now, with a printer hooked up to my computer, I can print any damn thing I want, any time.
However, the printer came at an unreasonable cost: Nate and I got into a fight in Best Buy. Like assholes. There wasn't screaming or punching or anything, but it was gross. I hated it. People shouldn't fight about printers.

new printer: convenience, speed, overall delightfulness - A-
the fight the stupid printer caused - D
average grade - B-

ps. everything's fine now

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Is It Any Wonder?

Aerosmith has cancelled the remaining dates of their tour because Steven Tyler has to have throat surgery. Is anyone surprised? He's been abusing his voice for years. I think he's pretty sweet, and I hope he comes through OK, but damn, maybe he should have thought of this before! I think it was that ridiculous note in "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" that put him over the edge. That's all I'm saying.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Steven!

celebrity throat surgery - C

Quiet Down Over There!

During one of my classes today, this guy sitting near me was breathing so loud I couldn't hear the professor speaking. It was unreal. He was breathing through his nose, but it was outrageously loud. Imagine if you will medium-loud snoring, the kind you typically hear at night from someone who has a cold. Now transfer this into your waking hours, sitting two feet away from someone "snoring." It was terrible. Maybe the guy has sinusitis, or maybe he's just a ridiculously loud breather. Either way, I hope he doesn't sit near me nest week.

loud breather - D+ (awarded a few sympathy points for illness, if that's the case)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Katie Holmes is going to have a SILENT BIRTH!? Is this even possible? I fully acknowledge that a stress-free, quiet, relaxed birthing environment would be better for both mother and baby, but come on! I would groan pushing an actual watermelon through an actual straw, to say nothing of doing that euphemistically near my pink parts. I can't even comprehend not groaning a little while giving birth. Nuh-unh. Not possible.

Mothers, speak out - what do you think? Did you make noise, even a little, when you had your precious babies?

silent birth - C-

Monday, March 27, 2006

Wook at da Wittle Kitty!

Sometimes I think we go through life with blinders on, impervious to cuteness. I aim to stamp out that problem, one kitten at a time, starting with this wittle guy. Just wook at 'im! Ee's toe CUTE! YES HE IS! YES HE IS!

Kittens - B+

Saturday, March 25, 2006

The Best There Is

Every now and then, I come across a story that I have to share with you in its original format, because I can't do it justice. I think that, after the story you're about to read, I will retire from copying and reposting, because it can't get any better than this.
HUGE thanks to my friend Amy, who shared this story with me.

When cows hit road, there's no exiting the trouble on I-10


In a wild series of incidents that started with a loose tailgate and ended with a grass fire Wednesday night, two Seguin police cars were destroyed, at least two cows were killed, three suspected undocumented immigrants were jailed and Interstate 10 was closed. Pay attention. This is complicated.
At about 9:45 p.m., the gate fell open on an 18-wheeler hauling cattle east near the Texas 123 bypass in Seguin.
"Cows started being deposited on the highway," Seguin police spokeswoman Maureen Watson said.
Five or six cows hit the road. One was struck by another 18-wheeler and dragged about a half-mile. Another was hit by a minivan. Both animals died, blocking the highway among the remaining injured cows.
Texas Department of Public Safety troopers arrived and started clearing the scene, using a truck to drag the dead cows off the road and rounding up the live ones.
That's when a pickup, reported stolen in Houston, sped through the scene, almost hitting a DPS trooper directing traffic, Watson said.
A short chase ensued. Three men abandoned the pickup and ran into the brush along the highway.
Two Seguin patrol cars that had joined the chase parked amid the grass along the highway, and the officers jumped out and chased the fugitives.
They caught the men, but when the officers returned the prisoners to their patrol cars, they saw that heat from the engines had sparked a grass fire that torched both vehicles, one of which was brand new.
Crews arrived to fight the rapidly spreading fire, and Interstate 10 was closed. Eastbound lanes were shut for about 45 minutes. The men, believed to be undocumented immigrants, were brought to the Guadalupe County jail. Their names and charges against them were not available Thursday afternoon.
The driver of the cattle truck was cited for driving with an unsecured load.
"The whole chain of events was pretty bizarre," Watson said. "The damage to the cars was $50,000 to $60,000."

a Hot time
--Cows spill on highway when trailer gate opens.
--Pickup speeds past scene. As police chase it, suspects jump out.
--Officers park amid grass to apprehend suspects. Heat from engines ignites grass and burns police cars.

Just in case you couldn't remember the key points, the article even wraps it up for you! How thoughtful! That was Amy's favorite part... "So, let me get this straight - the illegal immigrants set the cows loose? Wait, that's not right. Let me check the recap."

quite possibly the most unfortunate and most bizarre series of events to ever transpire - A+

We Go Together Like Hobbits, and Shires, and Guys with Long Beards!

The Lord of the Rings musical is playing in Toronto right now, and it's not doing so well. The New York Times called it "a murky, labyrinthine wood from which no one emerges with head unmuddled, eyes unblurred or eardrums unrattled," while a Toronto critic simply said "bored of the Rings."

I applaud the notion of a musical with new music - sometimes a novel concept in this world of Mamma Mia!, Movin' Out, and Footloose - but this seems like a bad idea all around. For one thing, the LOTR trilogy is LONG. How can you turn it into a musical without leaving out some crucial components? Second, there aren't enough love interests. Musicals need love to power them along, and to create a catalyst for the ballads. Finally, on some level, musicals need to be flashy, and while I'd be willing to bet that the sets for this are amazing, the potentially all-brown and cream palette of the costumes would be enough by itself to make me fall asleep while watching.

I'll stick with the movies.

Lord of the Rings - the musical - D+

Thursday, March 23, 2006


I'm getting a raise! I'm so excited!

One of the craziest things about working for a non-profit organization is you're supposed to be more interested in the success and well-being of the organization than you are in personal gain. Whatever - I have bills to pay!

getting a raise - A+!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Two More Reasons...

why MY brother is better than YOUR brother!

1. He had an awesome celebrity encounter.

2. He says the nicest things about me.

Beat that, chumps!

my sweet-ass brother - A+ (there, Dad, I upped his grade)

Lucky Number 41

In just over a month, I will be participating in my brother's wedding. I am super excited, because my brother rocks the free world and his fiancee is even cooler, but a little added excitement comes from the fact that this will be the forty-first wedding I've attended. That's a lot of weddings, my friends! I can't believe that I'm crossing the 40 wedding mark, and I know I'll be attending at least two more weddings before the year is over. What can I say? I love weddings... and I think I only have two or three divorces in that group. I might be lucky!

If you ever need a date to a wedding, call me. I will drive almost anywhere to go to a wedding. You should be aware, though, that I might rate said wedding on here.

41 weddings in 10 years - A+

p.s. this is a picture of my bridesmaid's dress for Pat and Natalie's wedding - I look smokin' hot in it!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Don't Forget!

Dentists recommend that you change your toothbrush every three months. It's important, you guys! Nasty stuff will start to grow in your toothbrush after a while, so throw it out periodically and get a new one. Why don't you start today with a new one, and then change it as the season changes? Maybe you'll remember that way! I changed my toothbrush today, and I feel like I did something good for myself.

Just providing a little public service for all my readers!

new toothbrushes - A- (don't you hate paying money for something like a toothbrush? I give my dentist an A for giving out good toothbrushes for free!)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

What's In The Box?

My friends Aaron and Macy say that everyone has a special box, and you can tell a lot about a person by what's in their box (please, no genitalia jokes, please). Macy has the program from my senior recital in her box, which is amazing to me. I can't believe my program made it into someone's special box!
My special box is pretty big. There's a lot of stuff in it, so here's a list of SOME of the things in my box:
two Interlochen graduation programs; a spork from Taco Bell painted with my high school sorority colors; a medal for Outstanding Newcomer from the 1997 ATU Theatre Guild Awards; Dustin's senior picture; ZTA secrets; high school ID; the only fax I've ever gotten; the poetry chapbook I wrote my senior year of high school (dedicated to Charlie); a love letter from Dave; my St. Genesius letter, saying I've been inducted into sainthood; a postcard of Nina Simone; a letter from Whitney Kirk, Miss Arkansas 2003; about 40 postcards and letters from Ashley; a Polaroid of my mom, circa 1984; CORE Team bingo; Ryan Camden's funeral program; a piece of yellow bungee cord, from G. Chad Thomas, from Fine Arts Camp; a tiny gold megaphone; the best birthday card ever from Pat - with Abba on the front!; an "old-timey" picture of me, Katie Shelley, and Katie Hollingsworth; mutliple love notes from Nate; all the wedding invitations I've ever gotten; a banner from Crazy for You that reads "1984 Prom Queen"; four dice; a Cinderella Valentine from Sarah Pollard

and lots, lots more

special boxes - A+


Jared Leto is FAT! OK, I know he's in a movie playing chubby assassin Mark David Chapman, but he looks so gross and skanky in this picture, and those sunglasses don't help matters.

Remember when Jared Leto was super hot? I used to really like him, and called cute (real life) guys in my high school Jordan Catelano.

Lindsay looks super cute in that hat, though.

Fat Jared Leto - C- (a few points awarded for "dedication to his craft")

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patrick's Day

My new favorite I-Live-in-a-College-Town experience: while I was driving through U of M's main campus (to get the cashiers' office and get my psych experiment money), I saw four guys at an outside ATM, all completely ridicu-fied for St. Patrick's Day. One guy was draped in an Irish flag, and at least one of the others was wearing a Guinness t-shirt. What time did I witness this amazing display? 10 AM. I bet that these guys started drinking at midnight, if not before, ran out of cash, and had to hit up the ATM to get more money for more green beer. Good for them, I say. I endorse drinking in the daytime. It makes it seem more illicit, and that's fun!

Last St. Patrick's Day, I had two Killian's with lunch (which was cheddar ale soup and and battered artichoke hearts stuffed with cheese), then went bowling, where I proceeded to drink two or three more beers. I then went to Traverse City's "Irish pub," where I puked in an alley in broad daylight. This made me think that I should go home and grab a nap before I began work at 9 PM, and on my way to my car, I puked again, this time in a parking structure... so while I endorse daytime drinking, I also endorse more than a bowl of soup and some fried battered artichokes for the meal on which the alcohol rests.

This St. Patrick's Day, I am staying home and doing laundry.

St. Patrick's Day - B+

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Tiny Slice Of Life

1. There's this blog I read a few times a week - Tiny Slice of Life.

2. It's written by this lady named... L1.

3. She never reveals her real name.

4. I love that.

5. Recently, L1 tried to get her blog accepted into this blogring based in Atlanta, where she lives.

6. For some reason, this Metrobloggers site wouldn't accept her blog, even after she sent them a sample post.

7. This is horsehit. L1 has one of the best blogs I've ever read. It's funny, it's sassy, and she uses this numbered-bullet system, which is really, really cool.

8. I have decided that Metrobloggers is lame, and my readers are cool.

9. Therefore, welcome L1 and tinysliceoflife to my blog links. You'll love her.

Tiny Slice of Life - A

Reese and Ryan On The Skids?

I'll feel bad if they break up. I NEVER should have called him Mr. Reese Witherspoon.

vicious rumors about the break-up of Hollywood's Golden Couple - B - we needed a little new celebrity gossip!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Customer Service

What do camels, bazookas, and tanks have to do with customer service? I don't know, but I like it.

On Sunday, I went shoe browsing - no intention to buy - at this store called Running Fit. Jen, the woman who helped me, was so nice, even after I told her I wasn't going to buy anything, I was just fact-finding. She checked out my feet and my stride and recommended several pair of shoes to me. On Monday, I wanted to see what I could find at Tortoise and Hare, another athletic shoe store. I walked in and looked around, and a minue or two later, a guy came up to me and said "Do you need shoes?" Nope, I was hoping for a steak and a nice baked potato. I'm in a shoe store! Of course I need shoes! He said he was helping someone, but the girl at the cash reigster would be done with her customer in just a minute. I understand, it's a small place with just two or three people working at once, and they were a little busy, so I said fine and just looked around a little more... but they never got back to me. Never. The guy who was helping someone else went up to the register at one point and was doing something for the girl, but the girl never came up to me and asked me if I needed anything. It was sort of the opposite of The Buckle, where they accost you as soon as you walk in the door. I was a little pissed off...
So I went back to Running Fit, talked with Jen some more, tried on some shoes and bras and left the store with a brnad new pair of Brooks Adrenalines.
Tortoise and Hare: people say you're the best in town, biut don't let that go to your head. Help all your customers, even the tortoises like me.

Tortoise and Hare - D+
Jen and Running Fit - A+ (I got a discount!)

Monday, March 13, 2006

My All-Time Best Misunderstood Lyric

From You Give Love A Bad Name, by Bon Jovi -

what they really say: "Your blood red nails on your fingertips."

what I heard: "Your blood red nails on your bangin' tits."

How's that for a mental picture!?

my mind in the gutter at 8 years old - A+

Somebody's Gonna Get Slapped!

From -
Sir Elton John has reportedly banned socialite Paris Hilton from his future post-Oscar parties, after she failed to make a compulsory donation to the rocker's AIDS charity. The hotel heiress and her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III attended John's annual bash at Hollywood's Pacific Design Center last Sunday. A party source tells website, "The party is a benefit gala, and tickets are $2,500 a pop. When it was suggested to her that she donate the money, Paris just said, 'Don't you know who I am?' and waltzed right in. Isn't she supposed to be wealthy? Everyone else paid. She won't be asked back." A representative for the Elton John AIDS Foundation confirms The Simple Life reality TV star did not pay for her ticket. However, Hilton's spokesperson insists the party girl intends to make a donation, saying, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money."

Oooh, who do you think is telling the truth!?

Paris being naughty and haughty - C-
her sassy short hair - A-

Edge of Seventeen

I was noticing how often I hear this song on the radio - at least once a day on my favorite '80s-'90s-today radio station - so I decided to write about it. During my Google search for a fun image, I discovered - just today - that Stevie says "Just like the white-winged dove." Until about two years ago, I thought she said "Just like the ones we love sing the song sounds like they're singing," which I guess doesn't make that much sense. When I finally deciphered the word "dove" instead of "love," I really, truly thought she said "Just like the one-winged dove." Now, a one-winged dove is really, really sad, right? It's a symbol of peace gone bad? And why wouldn't a one-winged dove sing whoo, whoo, whoo? I'm a mess.

In honor of my good friend Dustin, today I'm going to ask a question: what songs lyrics do you misunderstand? Please don't give me any trite answers like "Excuse me while I kiss this guy." I want to know what you misunderstand.

Stevie Nicks' mouth full of marbles, or my ears full of wax - C-

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Do You Want Some Wine With That Cheese?

There are some things in this world that are cheesy: those fake roses you can get at gas stations, a puppy in a basket for Christmas, Build A Bears, "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. But there are two things that transcend cheese, and cross over to schmaltz - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Josh Groban. When taken independently, these two things are cheesy but totally cool. I watch EMHE when I can, and I went to a Josh Groban concert and own one of his CDs. I'm not knocking them, really. BUT, in combination, we just might exceed the level of cheese acceptable in one sitting. Think about it - EMHE makes me cry anyway, but hearing "You Raise Me Up" during the show? Pass the tissues. Well, I have it on good authority that we'll be hearing a little Josh Groban on this week's episode of EMHE. This is Peter, husband of my good pal Kris, and an accomplished violinist. Peter and his playing partner Kyle play at really important functions all over the state of Oklahoma - they're quite good. Pete and Kyle will be playing the Josh Groban song "You Raise Me Up" on EMHE this week! This is very exciting. Kris says there's no guarantee that we'll get to hear Pete and Kyle for sure, but they did record the song for the show, so we all have our fingers crossed. Please watch EMHE tomorrow night - it's a two-hour episode, so lay in some provisions, but it's super exciting that my buddy is playing on national television. Way to go, Pete!

extreme cheese - C-
Peter playing for EMHE - A+

Kids on Leashes

Most people will disagree with me, but I LOVE kids on leashes! I think it's adorable! You're giving your kids a little freedom and independence - just look at how proud this little tyke is, strutting away in front of his dad - but you're also keeping an eye on them and not letting them get too far away. I think if people put their kids on leashes in public a little more often, we'd have less child-snatching. My favorite type of leash is the springy telephone cord-type leash - I think they're really, really cute.

kids on leashes - A-

Friday, March 10, 2006

Guinea Pig or Lab Rat?

UPDATE: It was fun... kind of! It's an experiment to see if theatrical training improves cognitive functions like memory. I had to listen to and repeat two stories, listen to and repeat and two "grocery lists" (with items like drill, wrench, and pliers) and see figures on a computer screen and then draw them. All of that was fun, but when I got to the part where I had to solve math problems and then say a word, then remember the words in order, I got kind of frustrated because I didn't do so great on that part. My brain hurt.
Also, it's only ten bucks an hour, and Nanna is some kind of Germanic... maybe German, but maybe Polish?
I go back next Monday for phase two!

Later today I am taking part in a psychology experiment at the University of Michigan. I answered a flyer hanging up in the communications builiding at my school that said a study was looking for people with over eight years acting experience... and it pays twenty bucks an hour! So I called, and discovered that the girl heading the study, Nanna Notthoff (I'm expecting her to be German), wanted native English speakers with over eight years acting experience, to take part in a two-hour experiment. That's all I know. I'm excited to see what she asks me, or has me do, and why all the focus on acting experience? Maybe she'll be measuring my emotional response to certain stimuli (oooh, psychology words!), or how well I mask those emotions. Or maybe she'll be a total crackpot and at least I'll get a good laugh out of it. I'll let you know!

psych experiment - updated grade: B+

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Project Runway FINALE

Another season of Project Runway has come and gone. I'm sad it's over, I really am. I know that some of you non-watchers out there will be glad to finally stop getting Thursday morning updates, but I think there's going to be a little hole in my blog now. I'll try to give you regular PR updates, for old times' sake.
So, Chloe won. I'm not thrilled about it. She was my least favorite of the top three, but there's no denying that her clothes were amazing. I loved the two prints, and that there were two designs in each print. The huge pink poufy coat thing was weird, but the deep blues were great.
One of my favorite things was when Michael Kors told Daniel to call him. Oooh, Daniel's gonna work for Michael Kors! I love it!

These are my favorites from each designer. I would buy these clothes!

Chloe winning - B
Tim and Andrae at Red Lobster - A
Santino and Daniel having amazing collections - A
overall Project Runway score - A+

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Time Management

I have really bad time management skills. I never have time to practice my flute or give my baby a bath... just like in this clock!
For real, I have so much stuff to do and I don't think there are enough hours in the day to do it, unless I stay up all night. Some of my readers know how strange I get when I don't get enough sleep. I've only stayed up all night once in recent memory, and it was a disaster. I couldn't stop laughing. I also tend to tell people things that I shouldn't when I haven't gotten enough sleep, like how bad they look in a certain color, or a secret I was supposed to keep.
But back to time management - I had a whole spring break to do a bunch of school work, and I blew it on scrapbooking... which was super fun, but now I'm in a pinch. I hope I have enough time to shop for one these super sweet time management clocks!

My time management skills - D+

Monday, March 06, 2006

A Little Oscar Fashion

Jada looks like a man in drag, for real. It's partly the strong jawline and partly the arm definition, but the kicker is the false eyelashes. WAY too overpowering for such a tiny person.

Naomi Watts in Givenchy... or is it Santino Rice? This looks just like the long nude version of his skating costume!

Look away from the scary hair and non-coordinating shoes! LOOK AWAY!

That's all I got.

Plantar Fasciitis

I am pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis. My heel hurt so much this morning that I just walked around on my toes. Maybe it's because I'm fat, or maybe it's because I'm trying to be less fat and increased my activity level last week, but my heel certainly does not feel awesome. I hope I don't have to get one of those sleep boots. They are decidedly unsexy. Does anyone know any home remedies for plantar fasciitis?

Does anyone even know what plantar fasciitis is?

Plantar fasciitis - F

The Pink Panther

Hanging out with old people, part two:
This movie was completely ridiculous, yet still funny. I can't believe I paid money to see it, but the old people seemed to like it. I felt a little awkward during the scene when an old lady got knocked over, and during the preview for "The Shaggy Dog," we saw an old lady get knocked over... old people falling down are so funny!
About that: one of our old guys lost his balance on the wheelchair lift on the bus and almost fell four feet to the concrete. Lucky I (and a railing) was there to catch him. Seriously, he was headed for the ground and I used my brute strength to get him upright. He cut his hand and bled all over the place (those darn blood thinners) and now I have old guy blood on my sweatshirt.
ANYWAY, The Pink Panther was pretty stupid, but that PG humor that caters toward young kids also keeps the old floks laughing. I liked Jean Reno, playing a French guy (what a stretch for him!), and there was a delightful uncredited cameo by the one and only Clive Owen, who I LOVE. Steve Martin was fine and Beyonce was cute, but I'm mystified by the presence of Kristin Chenoweth in this movie - sure, she's cute, blond and short, but why have her in this movie if she's not going to sing? She was kind of a waste in this, if you ask me.

The Pink Panther - C-

Oscar Recap

My favorite Oscar moment: when the Wallace and Gromit guys put the little bow ties on their Oscars... so cute!
My least favorite Oscar moment: Taraji P. Henson trying to sing that high note in "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." She got there eventually, but it was a scary process.
The good news - I was 7 for 8 in the major categories (Crash... who knew?). The bad news: overall, I was 16 for 24. Not great, not horrible either, but I would have liked to have done better. Next year I'm changing it up with a different system, and I can't wait.
HUGE KUDOS to Charlie for getting a whopping 21 out of 24 correct! You are the chief prognosticator!

My Oscar night - B

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Old Country Buffet

OK, I do not like Old Country Buffet. I ate there today because I was doing this community service project with some old people and that's where the powers that be decided we should eat. First of all, I don't like big buffets. The sight of all that food turns me off. Second, the food all seems pretty unhealthy - lots of starch, lots of fried, and lots of dessert. Third, because I don't eat a lot while I'm there, my buffet ends up being really pricey. I ate a $10 baked potato and bowl of frozen yogurt. No more OCB.

Old Country Buffet - D- (points 'cause old people like it)

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Walk the Line

Poor Walk the Line. In any other year, it would have been a tremendous movie, but coming the year after Ray, it all seemed stale. This is not either movie's fault, just bad timing. I kept thinking "Seen it. Seen that, too. Seen that WAY too may times." Bad luck, WTL.
This movie didn't make a huge impression on me. It was solid, entertaining, the acting was good, the music was fun (and yes, I'm impressed that Joaq and Reese did their own singing), and overall it was fine. But I didn't LOVE it. Like I said, it probably has something to do with seeing Ray this time last year (and I didn't love Ray, either, FYI). Walk the Line was fine, but it didn't invoke any feelings of passion in me. I'll take a solid stance on two things: 1, the red dress Reese wears during the tractor scene is breathtaking - I love the sheer sleeve thing; 2, I hate when movies wrap up at the end with the words on the screen. We all know that June and Johnny stayed married, raised kids etc., and died a couple years ago within a few months of each other. It happened RECENTLY. We REMEMBER it. The movie did not need to shove it down our throats with the words on the screen! Ray did that, too, and I just hate it. Totally unnecessary.

As far as Reese winning the Oscar... yes, she will. I don't quite understand it, but she will. She was good, for sure, but I think she'll be winning the award because she's playing against her type, not because it was the best lead female performance of the year. Elle Woods was pushed aside and the Academy wants to honor that, that's my theory. I still think Felicity should win, though.

Walk the Line - a nice, solid B

Friday, March 03, 2006

My Final Oscar Picks

It has been really difficult for me to make my final Oscar picks this year. I'm torn in a lot of the categories. I think I should go with my heart in some of these categories, but if I do that, then I certainly won't win my Oscar pool. So here goes:

BEST PICTURE - Brokeback Mountain

BEST DIRECTOR - Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain

BEST ACTOR - Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote

BEST ACTRESS - Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
who I really want to win - Felicity Huffman, Transamerica

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - George Clooney, Syriana
who I really want to win - Matt Dillon, Crash

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
who I really want to win - Amy Adams, Junebug


who I really want to win - The Squid and the Whale

BEST ART DIRECTION - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Brokeback Mountain


BEST ORIGINAL SCORE - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST ORIGINAL SONG - "In the Deep," Crash
who I would be thrilled to see win - "Travelin' Thru," Transamerica




BEST COSTUME DESIGN - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST MAKEUP - The Chronicles of Narnia


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE - Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE - March of the Penguins
who I really want to win - Murderball

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT - God Sleeps in Rwanda (I picked this before I saw that Charlie picked it, too)


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Project Runway

Only week until the PR finale! Who do you think is going to win? Based on what I've seen of the collections so far... I still don't know. My heart says Santino - his stuff is really, really gorgeous. Plus, between this week and last week's shows, he has completely grown on me. Maybe his arrogance was all a cover for insecurity, but I'm back liking him. But only a little. LA dwellers, how much do you think he pays in rent for that house? It looked big - and pricey - and how can someone who sold his shop afford that much house? At any rate... Chloe doesn't impress me right now. I did NOT like the big pink coat, and while the navy blue dress with the cut-out back was lovely, I have never liked Grace, her model, and I think that putting her in that dress as the show-stopping final piece of the collection is a mistake. I'm super worried for Daniel. I would love to see him win, but I think Tim Gunn's lack of enthusiasm is a bad sign. Yes, it's pretty stuff, and yes, women would actually wear it, but it's possible that the collection didn't make a big splash at Fashion Week. I love that the non-finalist designers were brought back to assist the finalists! They're certainly going to need the help. Daniel needs buttons on everything, and Chloe and Santino looked like they had gone into mind meltdown. With that said, what the hell was Chloe thinking choosing Diana as her assistant? Why didn't she choose Kara? I think that plan will backfire bad.
I'm a little sad that next week is the last week. I will NOT be watching Top Chef. Doesn't America's Next Top Model start again next Wednesay?

Project Runway - A-

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Stand Off, My Ass

What follows is an exact copy of my friend Zara's blog from a day or two ago. I have changed no words or grammar. Read it all - you won't be sorry.

mmmkay, so basically i went into work today. no big deal. it's a friday, everyone and their mother wants to rent a bagillion movies (horror films especially) and it is my job to see to it that they get exactly what they want when they want it. no, more than that. i am supposed to exceed the expectations of my customers with my stellar customer service skills. i fucking love blockbuster! i get paid for pretending like i give a shit, even if i don't. seriously, this is the best jof my life. so i am busy at the counter with this 50 something fat WASPy man serving him popcorn and unlocking the case to his "barenaked brooke" dvd, when he says, "ya're pretty good at this!" why, thank you. i know. and i'm new. and i rock. and for the first time in my life i am not serving people food (okay, popcorn is food, but not really)....then this mohawked fat ass comes up to me and says " you know what's going on out there?" i look out the window and there are 5 cop cars blocking the entrance and exit to blockbuster....i am thinking what the fuck???? i thought my last job was the buisness with the meth lab in the basement,,,, not this one!!!!!!!! then i see these two hoodlums who have locked themselves in a car with minnesota plates...right in front of our glass window/wall. great. the police get on the loud speaker and order these assholes out of the car. then the guns come out. on both sides. there is a complete stand off in the parking lot, and all i am doing is racking my brain to try and remember what the blockbuster introductory video said to do when there are hoodlumd with guns in my parking lot. the answer of course was to keep serving free popcorn. so that is exactly what i did. i was ringing someone up for the videos Saw II, Legend of Zorro, and Elizabethtown when the phone rings. The conversation goes a little something like this:

"Thank you for calling Cherryland Blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want. this is zara, can you hold?"---"No, i can't maam. this is 911". "oh, shit! hey, whats up?"--" The police presence outside your building have requested that everyone step away from the windows, and if need be, take shelter."--"oh, thank you very much." CLICK

so, apparently, in 5 minutes, my job has gone from asking people if the want any double bubble cotton candy that turns to chewing gum, to, hearding michiganders into the unwindowed portion of the store so they don't get shot. hoo-fucking-ray! of course i tell everyone to get back from the windows, but these people are fucking retarted. i swear to god. apparently, it more important to press your face up to the glass and look into the car of suspects with firearms, than it is to avoid getting shot!!! oy. michigan breeds some good ones. so blady blady blah. at this point, no one is alllowed to leave the building for obvious reasons. this girl comes up to me and she was like, do you have a copy of waiting?? no, we're all out. and then she goes to walk out the door. i'm like, "umm, maam, you can't leave just yet. have you noticed what's going on outside??" "yeah, but i left my lights on, and my battery is gonna die. "it really isn't safe to leave right now maam." " you are gonna make me late for my date! what am i gonna do, stay in blockbuster all night? i don't think." she then proceeds to walk out of the building directly in the line of fire from the cops and the hoodlums. a small part of me wishes that she would have gotten shot. not died or anything, but maybe shot in the finger or something. like JD in heathers. oy. well that was my day. no shots were fired. the badguys took their precious time and then surrendered. the cops stuck around for another hour or two. and for the rest of the night i had to answer calls from a bunch of newsreporters and the like. my favorite call of the night was this guy that called like three hours after the fact.

once again:

"thank you for calling cherryland blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want, this is zara, how can i help you?" --"hey, uhhh, like, what happened earlier? my friend called and told me that some shit went down."--"well, there was a stand off in our parking lot. lots of police presence, it looked like two suspects. There were guns involved but no shots were fired. Everything is fine. the suspects have been taken into custody, and the police have already cleared out."--"oh, cause, like, my friend called and told me that, but he is just the kinda guy that would call and say something like that, ya know? like, he is always say weird shit like that, so i didn't really believe. but, uhh, wow. so what else happened?"--"well, that was about it. we had to stay indoors away from the windows and stuff, but everything went well. thank you for your concern though."--"yeah alright cause i was like, no, this isn't for real"--"nope, it really was for real. all over now though, are there any movies i can help you find?"--"oh, uh, no, i just wanted to call and see if my friend was lying or not"--"alright sir, well thank you for calling blockbuster and have a nice day." CLICK

so everyone, how was your day?

Zara's Blockbuster adventure - A+