Lindsay Lohan "Confessions of a Broken Heart" Video

Here's the trouble with Lindsay's new video: throughout most of it, she is sitting on the floor of a bathroom in an obviously expensive gown. Hello? You do NOT sit on the floor of a bathroom in an evening gown!

There's a lot of other trouble with this video, too. First of all, the dress is hideous - it has the craziest neckline and it's purple and yellow. Ick. Also, there's lots of screaming and crying and pounding of hands on walls. Double ick. Finally, Little Lohan makes an appearance, playing... her older sister! I'll admit, the resemblance is staggering, but please, please, Little Lohan, don't turn out like your sister. Redheads everywhere are begging you. The video is pretty trite, but Lindsay directed it herself. Truth be told, it's not bad for a first attempt by a 19-year-old. The song itself is also mediocre. We all get that Linds and her dad don't have the best relationship, but that seems like the sort of thing they should be working out in therapy, not on MTV.

I'm wrapping up today's post with a little game for us to play. Lindsay appeared in the movie "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." Her new song is "Confessions of a Broken Heart." What do you think Lindsay's next confession will be?

"Confessions of a Broken Heart" video - C -

City of Lost Children

I did not understand this movie. For those of you smarty-pantses out there who've seen it, maybe you can break it down for me. I mean, I got it - mad scientist, band of pickpocketing kids, simple yet enormous Russian searching for his kidnapped brother, Siamese twins - but I so did not get it all at the same time. There were just too many plots happening at once for me. I love a good subplot or two, but there were about six or seven in this movie, and not all of them resolved enough for me. Also, I'll have to disagree with those folks who say that this film is a visual masterpiece. There were interesting concepts, sure, but overall, it was just too muddy and brown. Finally, what was going on between Miette and Ron Perlman? They were kind of creepy close - I kept thinking they were going to make out.

City of Lost Children - D+

Oh Hell No

Wedding Singer on Broadway

According to the New York Times, the producers of Hairspray will be bringing New Jersey of the 1980's to the stage with a musical adaptation of the movie "The Wedding Singer." The movie, released in 1998, starred Adam Sandler as a wedding singer who is stood up at the altar. He then finds the love of his life, but she is engaged to someone else. The movie is very funny, but much of its nostalgic charm, for me, is from its '80's soundtrack with songs like “99 Luft Balloons,” "Der Kommissar," and "Too Shy." Sadly, the musical will be getting original lyrics and music. At least they are leaving the original songs from the movie, "Grow Old With You" and "Somebody Kill Me."

Mamma Mia was a good idea - fairly original at the time, taking pop songs and turning them into a musical (I haven't seen it, but I've heard there's an actual plot). Then came Footloose, using the original music from the movie and making it a musical. And then there was Movin' Out, and a John Lennon musical that seems to have fallen through, and a Producers musical based on a movie, and now that musical is being turned into a new movie. And now The Wedding Singer: The Musical? You must be joking. Are there no original plot ideas any more? Are we going to end up with Rambo: First Blood: The Musical? All those budding musical theatre composers are going to be out of work if we keep borrowing ideas from pre-existing sources. And The Wedding Singer wasn't even that great! Why? Why?

The Wedding Singer: The Musical - D+

Krispy Kreme

Saturday morning. A time for sleeping late, watching cartoons, and eating the most delicious breakfast on the planet - Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It's actually been months since I've had a Krispy Kreme, but I think about them almost every Saturday. There's just something special about a Krispy Kreme doughnut. They are the standard by which all doughnuts are measured.
Aside from amazingly great taste, there's something else special about Krispy Kreme doughnuts - their ability to bring people together. Once you've had a Krispy Kreme experience with someone, you share a bond that can never be broken. Ashlee in Memphis? Sara in Oklahoma City? Dustin, Paul and Ashley in Atlanta? Scott in Flint? Lifelong friends. Maybe not entirely because of Krispy Kreme, but I would be lying if I said a doughnut didn't play a role in those relationships.

Krispy Kreme - A- (why the minus? no KK in AA)

Madonna "Hung Up" Video

Our morning video exchange:
Amanda - "Wow, she is making love to that radio."
Nate - "Oh, she's not making love."
Madonna totally humps a stereo in this video. Super grind and super hump. I'm telling you what. But that's not all! She wears a sweet '80s dance outfit, has amazing back-up dancers, and samples an ABBA song. I love ABBA, more than I love Madonna, so this is super exciting for me.
What I like the most about this video is that it's not super-formulaic like most of the other videos I see in the morning. Sure, she dances with hot younger guys, and there's a shot of Madonna walking in rhythm to the music, but that's okay. I can handle that. And the song is good, too. It's nice when song and video line up in goodness.

"Hung Up" video - B+ (sure, it's good, but it's no "Like A Prayer" or "Express Yourself")

Los Galanes

Finally. Good Mexican food. On yesterday's field trip, I and some others snuck away from the bakery (we were instructed to smell - hello? you can't put food in front of me and expect me to just smell!) and walked across the street to Los Galanes. I ordered tamales.. and they were perfect. My tamales came with rice and beans... and they were perfect, too. I almost cried on the bus, eating my delicious Mexican lunch. Even though the whole field trip was bizarre and a bust, my tamales carried me through. I'm not sure if they were good enough to merit a trip to Mexicantown, but if I'm ever back in that neck of the woods, I will stop there for sure, order something a little messier, and throw back a margarita or two.

Los Galanes - A-

Michigan Central Depot

I went on a field trip today with one of my education classes. We stopped very briefly at a multi-cultural high school in Detroit, and then spent about an hour and a half at a total immersion bilingual elementary school. But then the real fun began - we went on a "tour" of Detroit to get a feel for poverty and what some of the kids we met today might see on their way to school. First stop: Michigan Central Depot, the old abandoned train station in Detroit. As you can see from the picture, it's very big, and very beautiful. What you might not be able to tell is just how run-down it is. Every single window was broken; there's a barbed-wire fence around the whole place; we walked around it a little bit and I felt like I was in Croatia or Iraq or some other bombed-out war zone. In a way, I guess I was. I also saw a dead raccoon. That was awesome.
My thoughts on today's events: had we been a class of phtographers, it would have been an amazing day - I saw so many things beautiful and interesting places that I wanted to take pictures of. The in-classroom experience, however, was minimal and I think my professor just did that part because she had to; you could tell that getting to Mexicantown was the most important thing to her... but more on that later.

Michigan Central Depot - B-

A Million Little Pieces

This book is tough. The writing style is different, no real paragraphs and no punctuation other than periods, and the subject matter is really, really hard to handle at times - the passage about oral surgery without anesthesia or painkillers made all my pink parts crawl up inside. But it's really good, too. I've never read anything like it. I think it gives a real portrayal of what life as an addict is like, without any frills or happy endings. I still like Augusten Burroughs' rehab story better; it's just more entertaining. I think that's James Frey's point, though - rehab isn't fun or entertaining. It's brutal and awful.
This is Oprah's latest Book Club selection, which means that in about three months, there are going to be thousands of copies in used book stores. If you can hold out, you'll save a few bucks, and we can talk more about the book then.

A Million Little Pieces - A-

'Tis The Season

As fall turns fall-er and winter starts to seem like a real possibility, millions of girls across the country put away their flip-flops and get out their Uggs (or Fuggs, if you can't afford the real ones) - and with this weather-related fashion switch comes the inability to pick up one's feet when one walks. You know you're getting old when shuffling feet really annoy you; in that case, I am really, really old. As one who has tried on the real ones and owns some fake ones, I can say that they're not that heavy. They're not like, say, cement blocks wrapped in sheepskin. They're just boots! Pick up your feet when you walk! PICK UP YOUR FEET! I know I'm not alone out there. This annoys lots of people. They just don't say anything about it. Instead, they silently fume and curse the good folks at Ugg and the celebrities who sparked this trend (as you can tell, I silently fume when I'm in public - I just rant to you, my fine readers).

However, with that said, I am SO in love with these orange Uggs, and all for the low low price of $105 on eBay. Does anyone out there owe me a really great Christmas present? I wear an 8.

Uggs - B (I heard they're out of style); the Ugg Shuffle - D

Black Eyed Peas "My Humps" Video

I can't say enough about this video. Too bad for the Black Eyed Peas, 'cause it's all bad. This video is just awful, and the song is no better. Fergie is just gyrating all over the place, talking about her "hump" and her "lovely lady lumps." LOVELY LADY LUMPS!? Gross! Whether she's talking about tits or ass, that has to be the foulest euphemism ever.
Here are some details for you non-video watchers: Fergie and her dancers are showing off their "ice," label-dropping and waving their long and nasty fingernails all over the place. Periodically, the BEP guys sing about spending, and then Fergie replies with "I'm-a get get get get you drunk, get you drunk, off my hump, my hump my hump my hump..." and so on. Not pretty. There's writhing and dancing hoochies and it's just lame, and it comes on every morning. Worst of all, it's catchy. I sing it in my head all the time, and then I feel bad about myself.

My Humps - C-

New Titanic DVD

Okay, this is great - I'm all for extended scenes and deleted scenes and director commentary and all that. There's just one thing that bothers me - an alternate ending. Um, James Cameron? There can only be one ending. The ship sinks. The end.

New Titanic DVD - B+

Look At Those Choppers, Part Two

This is Giada De Laurentiis, host of Behind the Bash on Food Network. Giada has the biggest mouth I've ever seen. She scares me a little. Sure, she's beuatiful, but damn, that mought is huge. It's not surprising that she's a foodie - she must have more taste buds than the average human. I can't watch her show. Even the commercials are frightening - she flashes those pearly whites and I cringe.

Giada's big smile - B-

whoa.

Count me in on the "SUVs are unsafe" bandwagon. Last night, as Nate and I were walking to our car from a wedding reception, we heard this bang, turned around, and saw the following: a station wagon skid crazily through the intersection, and an SUV skid sideways, fly, and flip over and land upside down. It was probably one of the scariest things I've ever seen (and remember, I once hit a guy on a motorcycle). That SUV was so heavy, and must have been going pretty fast, to get air like that. Yikes. If I'm ever in the market to buy an SUV, I will check that crash test rating pretty seriously.

Car accidents - F

And Many More...

Somebody had a birthday yesterday, and there was free dinner and new cookware and lots of fun and festivity. good times.

Nate's birthday - A- (I didn't put too much thought into his gift and I don't think he likes it that much)

Desperate Housewives DVD

You all know that I love Desperate Housewives, but even I didn't know how much I loved it until I saw the first four episodes (I was a late joiner and didn't start watching until mid-season). It's so good! So many things happened in those first four episodes that influenced later episodes that I was completely unaware of - Edie's house fire, those demon Scavo boys painting that little girl, the assault of the gay cable guy, that awesome dinner party, evil Mrs. Huber... and many, many more. I already rented the next four episodes and can't wait to get crackin' on them.

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to the creator of TV series on DVD, and perhaps the creator of DVDs in general. There is no better way to watch TV than to watch it on DVD. No commercials, no waiting, streamlined episode length. Good job, fellas.

Desperate Housewives DVD - A

Why Gay Is Good

Because no straight man would ever have this party:

SKANKSGIVING!

Come and look as skanky as you can. Get the skankiness out of you before many of you head home for a wholesome family Thanksgiving. As usual, we will have some snacks like cheese doodles and basic booze options, but bring your favorite beverage to share. Can't wait to see all you nasty hos!!!

Dictionary.com desribes a skank as "One who is digustingly foul or filthy and often considered sexually promiscuous."Think: Taradise, Xtina, B Spears and K-Fed, Lil Kim, Janice Dickerson.

Skanksgiving, along with gay-hosted theme parties in general - A

The Bottom of the World

I just might have a new favorite blog - The Bottom of the World. Here's the story:

"The background: I have accepted a position as "Dining Room Attendant" at McMurdo Station, Antarctica, where I will be washing the dishes of National Science Foundation scientists. I will join about 1,000 other people on the station, where we'll live in dorm-like rooms, eat from a cafeteria, and share the same 24-hours of Antarctic sunlight. My first day will be October 1, where I'll fly from St. Louis to LA to Christchurch, New Zealand. After a one-day orientation, we'll all head down to McMurdo on a 7 hour flight. I won't leave again until February 28, 2006."

Erin, friend of my friend Tim, I salute you. In fact, I kind of want to be you.

Read The Bottom of the World - link from my blog coming very soon.

The Bottom of the World - A

I Try To Cook

This petit red lentil soup is one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten... when Natalie makes it. When I make it, it's just not the same. It's still delicious - those tiny lentils have a lovely flavor, and all the chicken stock and onion and garlic add a little something nice - but something is missing and I can't figure out what it is. I would not win Iron Chef with this soup. Iron Chef Chen Kenichi would stomp all over me in a petit red lentil battle. I will not let this soup get the best of me!
Check back for soup updates in the future.


Petit Red Lentil Soup, Natalie - A
Petit Red Lentil Soup, Amanda - B+

How Much Can YOU Spare?

Creative Panhandling - A

And Speaking of Internet Popularity Contests...

I have added a site meter to my blog. I think I'm only going to leave it up for a week or two, but it will be fun to see how many people visit my blog a day. Of course, I know some of you are visiting more than once a day, so the numbers will be skewed... but that's okay!

Site Meter - B- (really, I'm sort of ashamed that I'm doing it)

Celebrity Blogs

Seems like everybody's blogging these days. As Erika Stephanie once said (and I'm really paraphrasing here), it's an Internet popularity contest - all the cool kids are doing it, and celebrities are no exception. And like all blogs, some are better than others. RuPaul - fun language, but not very exciting. Margaret Cho - very, very wordy; need more time to read in-depth, but so far, so good. Michael Moore - doesn't update often enough, and when he does... well, it's Michael Moore. Pamela Anderson - lame. Pete Townshend - good, but it's a novel, so it's not for everyone. Wil Wheaton (remember him from Star Trek: TNG and the movies Stand by Me and Toy Soldiers?) - surprisingly good. Forbes rates it the #1 celebrity blog, and I'm inclined to agree. He talks about some celebrity stuff, like being too busy to attend screenings, but mostly he talks about daliy life stuff. Way to go, Wil!

Point to ponder: if I come across celebrity blogs, does that mean that celebrities might come across MY blog?

Celebrity Blogs - B

Excuses, Excuses

I was busy all day today, so this is all the blog you get.

Guacamole

I love guacamole. It might be my most favorite thing to eat. I made some delicious guac today and ate it for lunch. Mmm mmm good.

Guacamole - A

Shining

By now, most people have seen The Shining... but have you seen the new, fun-for-the-whole-family version called Shining?

Some guys with too much time on their hands put this together and they created a masterpiece. You know you've hit the big time when you make Entertainment Weekly's Must List.

Take a few minutes and watch the trailer for Shining - and bring the kids!

http://www.ps260.com/molly/SHINING%20FINAL.mov

If you're looking for something a little scarier, check this out - http://www.angryalien.com/0504/shiningbunnies.html - The Shining in 30 Seconds, re-enacted by bunnies. My favorite is the Scatman Crothers bunny.

Shining - A

The Shining Bunnies - A-

Nuns at EMU

There are nuns at my school. I'm pretty sure they're Dominican nuns (as are the nuns in this picture), because they wear white habits. I see them all the time in and around the education building - my favorite is when I see them in the computer lab. There's just something about seeing nuns cruising around on the Internet. I really, really want to talk to them, but I'm too embarrassed. I know, I know, I'm friendly and outgoing and not afraid to talk to anyone, but nuns sort of intimidate me. They've given their lives to poverty, chastity and the big JC. I've given my life to pizza rolls, GAP, and cable television. Maybe some day one of these nuns will be in one of my classes and I'll get put in a group with her and we'll have to talk. A girl can dream...

Nuns at EMU - A

Kinsey

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't seen this movie and want everything to be a surprise when you do see it, skip this post. I won't be offended.

Kinsey was pretty good. I was really surprised by how many "people" (I mean "stars") were in it - during the opening credits, I caught myself saying "Tim Curry! John Lithgow! Oliver Platt! Timothy Hutton!" I had no idea all those people were in the movie. Other things in the movie were surprising as well. I knew it was about sex, of course, but I really wasn't expecting to see Peter Saarsgard's junk, so that was a surprise. Also, there was an unexpected make-out scene - seriously unexpected. Like, Liam Neeson slipping the tongue to Peter Saarsgard unexpected. Nate and I both said "Whoa! Whoa!" It was crazy.

I can't really find any faults with the movie, other than maybe it glossed over some of the more unsavory parts of Alfred Kinsey's life. Actually, that kind of bugged me. The movie would mention things, like Kinsey's "dependency on barbituates," and then they'd just sort of go away. I'm not one of those movie watchers who does research afterwards if I'm left with questions, so I guess I'll never know.

Kinsey didn't really move me - it was fine. I'm glad I saw it, but it doesn't instantly jump to the top of my "all-time favorite movies" list. Oh well.

Kinsey - B-

The New James Bond

I'm not buying it.

I'm not saying that Daniel Craig is unattractive - I just always think of James Bond as being a brunette, and more dashing. Craig looks sort of haggard.

My choice for the new 007 - Clive Owen. That man is DREAMY.

Daniel Craig as James Bond - B

Another Reason People Look Down On Arkansas

Arkansas Mother Gives Birth to 16th Child
By MELISSA NELSON, Associated Press Writer

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again. Johannah Faith Duggar was born at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday and weighed 7 pounds, 6.5 ounces.
The baby's father, Jim Bob Duggar, a former state representative, said Wednesday that mother and child were doing well. Johannah's birth was especially exciting because it was the first time in eight years the family has had a girl, he said.
Jim Bob Duggar, 40, said he and Michelle, 39, want more children.
"We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them," he said in a telephone interview.
The Discovery Health Channel filmed Johannah's birth and plans to air a show about the family in May.
The Learning Channel is doing another show about the family's construction project, a 7,000-square foot house that should be finished before Christmas. The home, which the family from the northwest Arkansas town of Rogers has been building for two years, will have nine bathrooms, dormitory-style bedrooms for the girls and boys, a commercial kitchen, four washing machines and four dryers.
Jim Bob Duggar, who sells real estate, previously lost his bid for the U.S. Senate. He said he expects to run for the state Senate next year but isn't ready to make a formal announcement.
Michelle Duggar, 39, had her first child at age 21, four years after the couple married.
Their children include two sets of twins, and each child has a name beginning with the letter "J": Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2; Jackson Levi, 1; and now Johannah.

I was with them until "Jinger." (okay, no, I wasn't)

Naming your child "Jinger" - C-

Unfortunate Photography

Tea Leoni does not look like a goodwill AIDS ambassador. She looks pissed. And fearful. She looks pissed that she's afraid. Or afraid that she's pissed. Either way, I have a feeling that some poor photographer lost his job over this one.

Tea's bad picture - C+

Cell Phones

As I was walking from my class to the parking lot yesterday, I decided to count the number of people I passed that were talking on their cell phones. These folks were walking to or from class, too, at about 10:50 AM on a rainy Monday morning. Grand total? 18. This may not strike you as that many, especially those of you who live in New York, LA, Chicago, Austin or Miami, but you have to remember that Eastern's population is just under 24,000, and I can't give you a statistic on how many people are walking on campus at 10:50 AM. Let's just say that 18 struck me as high. People, it's time to hang up the phone. Look at the world around you. Do something less constructive with your time - daydream! People-watch! Recite the 8 times table in your head! I imagine that none of the people I saw were so busy and important that they had to field a call during peak daytime hours. They're just into putting up a barrier. Or looking cool. Whatever. I'm guilty of it, too, of course, but I've been thinking about extreme cell phone usage the past few days, so I'm going to try to curb my extraneous public chatting. Lets engage with real live humans, shall we?

Annoying campus cell phone users - C

Kelly Clarkson "Because of You" Video

As most of you know, I love me some Kelly Clarkson, but this video is a no-go. First of all, I do NOT like blonde Kelly - why does everyone have to be blonde? I loved her with the streaky blonde/brunette thing she had going for so long. Also, I feel like I've seen this video before, a few times. There always seems to be a video with a singer doing some thing with an "inner child," and Kelly totally went for it through the magic of mirror morphology. Finally, the whole lyrical tie-in was a little vague. Kelly sings "Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk, because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt," but in the video, she could be talking about her bad husband or her bad daddy. Now I'm confused - who is it, Kell?

I love this song - it's one of the ones I mentioned in my much earlier post about Kelly's Breakaway album, and the video doesn't detract from the goodness of the song. Taken independently, however (and we all know that Kelly is MISS Independent), the video just doesn't stack up.

"Because of You" video - B-

Another Bad Dream

It is my first day working at a new Bennigan's. I am nervous, but I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the menu. When I get there, I discover that they have given me a good section - the smoking section. I try to figure out where exactly the smoking section is, since the layout of the restaurant is slightly different from that of the Saginaw Bennigan's. Strangely, the "host stand" is just an enormous piece of color-coded Plexiglass on the floor. To my surprise, I see that some of my tables have already been seated. I go into my section and start taking drink orders, but everyone is already ready to order, and then the rest of my tables start getting seated. I am getting farther and farther behind. What's more, people are ordering crazy things that weren't on the menu the last time I worked at Bennigan's, and it's noisy and I can't hear and people are starting to get really pissed.

Being scarred by Bennigan's so much that I still dream about it over three years since I last worked there - C-

Big Boy Radio

I always thought Big Boy was a bastion of conservatism, but after hearing the music they played today, I may have to change my opinion. When I walked in the door, "Hammer and a Nail" by Indigo Girls was playing; throughout the course of breakfast, I also heard "I Drove All Night" by Celine Dion, "Manic Monday" by the Bangles, and "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran. Way to go, Big Boy!

Big Boy Radio - A-

More Observations

I saw another interesting thing on campus yesterday. It was almost 11, so people were on their way to class, and suddenly there was this guy running across campus with his backpack on his back. He wasn't just moving quickly, or jogging - he was run-ning, and the backpack was bouncing up and down. He looked like he was training for the Navy SEALS. It was absolutely ridiculous. I bet that nothing bad would have happened if he had been late to class. Dude - either leave earlier in the morning, or leave the backpack at home when you sprint across campus.

Running With Backpack - C-

Observations

Yesterday I saw a girl wearing some yoga pants with a word on the ass. Usually, I really don't like them, because they'll say things like "JUICY" or "ABERCROMBIE" or "CHEER," but these were pretty awesome. They said DRUMLINE. I love that this girl has enough confidence in her drumline to let people know, via her ass, that she's a member. However, I wonder what the guys got to wear.

DRUMLINE yoga pants: B+

David Banner Play Video

This video is NASTY. Super mega ultra nasty. Under no circumstances should you let your children or your elderly grandparents watch this video. It's basically a bunch of girls on workout equipment, pumping iron or riding spinning bikes, making their O-faces. It's gross. Meanwhile, David Banner, who looks nothing like Bill Bixby or Lou Ferrigno, is gyrating with them singing lyrics about sweating. It's not hot at all. Avoid this video at all costs. Also, just a point to ponder: all the videos I've seen recently have a funny little tag at the end - sort of a staged outtake. It usually involves the main singer looking off camera and laughing, or running away doing something silly. "Play" was no exception. David and some hoochie were rehearsing a weight-lifting sequence without any sound. Can anyone shed some light on this new trend in videos?

David Banner - "Play" - D-

Kanye West Golddigger Video

I don't watch many videos (mostly because videos are never on), but I happened to see the video for Golddigger this morning. Sometimes it's nice to start your day with some MTV instead of world news.

This video is fierce. Seriously. Kanye looks great, and the slutty dancers are awesome, and Jamie Foxx totally kicks ass. It doesn't hurt that the song is ridiculously catchy, so by the end of the video, you can sort of hum along. The "ad graphics" behind the dancers are perfect for the idea of "no golddiggers," and Kanye's profile shots against the red/pink background are really aesthetically pleasing; then, when it switches to more of a white/tan color scheme and full body Kanye, it changes the whole thing into less sexy, more classy. Not that this video could be anything but sexy - those girls are wearing next to nothing! Back to Jamie Foxx - he's totally milking the Ray Charles impression, but it works. He sounds spectacular and looks pretty hot, too.

Golddigger - A-

Look At Those Choppers!

I know I'm a little late to be jumping on this bandwagon, but I really didn't get it before - I hadn't seen the pictures. Now I understand. Hilary looks crazy. She looks like... Hilary Swank, or Gary Busey. They're too long! Too long, I say!
Here's a quote from teenmusic.com: The A Cinderella Story star, whose mega-watt smile has attracted intense speculation, resorted to having veneers after damaging her enamels during energetic stage shows. Duff explains, "My teeth aren't the strongest, and I kept chipping them on the microphone. One show, I literally spit half of my two front teeth out.
"Why is it people's business?"

SICK! That's not supposed to happen! You should have brushed better, darlin'!

Hilary Duff's New Teeth - D+ (points because lots of people are making fun of them!)

Spartan Brand

I'm a grocery snob. I like my groceries to come in pretty boxes and be slightly expensive so that I feel I'm getting something good. However, now that I'm living on a budget, sometimes I have to scrimp a little, so on my last grocery store trip, I bought Spartan brand cereal. I don't know how wide-reaching Spartan brand is, so let me tell those of you out of Spartan's range that it's basically a generic brand with a label. It's cheap food in cheap packaging. It's Trader Joe's redneck cousin. With that said, Busch's, my neighborhood grocery store, was selling Spartan cereal at 4 for $5. We eat a lot of cereal in this house, so I decided to go for it, and picked out one box of each of the following: honey toasted o's, bran flakes, raisin bran and frosted shredded wheat. We started with the raisin bran... and it's okay! It tastes like raisin bran! I wrongfully judged you, Spartan brand, and I'm sorry. I still don't know if I'll make the switch to becoming a Spartan shopper, but I'll keep it in mind.

Spartan brand - B+

Nate

I'll finish off Friends Week with a post about one of my best friends (cue sappy music). Nate and I met a little over a year and a half ago, thanks to a wonderful website called match.com. Didn't know that? You do now. To me, Nate is a great friend. He makes me laugh and yet also engages me in intellectual debate, he's quick with a pun, he's a tremendous cook and a seriously awesome bass player, he's always there to be a shoulder to cry on, and he's dynamite in the sack. Come on, you know you were waiting for me to say it! Even better, Nate is probably the best friend to his friends that I've ever known. He sends countless mix CDs and care packages and has a pretty extensive list of people he stays in touch with, and I know that it's all reciprocated. Nate has the coolest, most eclectic and genuinely wonderful group of friends. That says a lot about him, I think. In the time I've known Nate, he's been in two weddings and has been to three or four more, at least four people have come to stay at his house while on vacation, and he's been thanked on two CDs. Oh yeah, and he has a baby named after him. Really good friend, I say.

Nate trivia: Nate is my third boyfriend whose name is spelled "_a_e..." can you name the other two?

Nate - A

Halle Library

Here at good ol' EMU, our kick-ass library has a bell tower. Like most bell towers, it chimes out "Big Ben" twice on the hour and once on the half hour. It also plays tunes at noon every day. Usually, these songs are unidentifiable, but today, I heard something distinct and clear as a... well, you know. Today's Halle Library bell tower song: "On The Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady!

Um, what? I think it would have only been weirder to hear the bell tower version of "Cat Scratch Fever" or "I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts." Why in the world did they pick "On The Street Where You Live?" Sometimes, this place amazes me.

Halle Library bell tower - B-

Justice Miers?

Somebody needs an eyeliner lesson.

Harriet Miers - C-

Jen

Jen is one of my newest friends - we just met in June when we were star performers in the community theatre's gala fundraiser. However, just because I haven't known her very long doesn't mean I don't have great things to say about her!
Jen is super, super cool. She owns her own business, dresses better than anyone I know, has a smokin' hot husband and a smokin' hot body, sings and dances incredibly well, and is one of the nicest and kindest people I've ever met. To top it off, when you're talking to her, you can tell that she's actually listening and cares about what you're saying. I love that!

Jen - B+ (still has to prove herself - I give points for longevity)

What Goes Around Comes Around

http://baasecha1.blogspot.com/2005/09/naivehelga.html

http://consumerretorts.blogspot.com/2005/10/consumer-retorts-on-naivehelga.html

Thanks, you guys.

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper

Have you seen this ad? The girl's on a date with this jackass, he's talking about how great he is, she pours herself a glass of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper... and suddenly, everyone in the commerical is singing Mahna Mahna from the Muppet Show, tilting their heads back and forth! It's awesome! The jackass sings "Mahna Mahna" and the customers all sing "Doot doo doo doo doo!" Sheer brilliance!

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper ad - A

Ashlee

Just so everyone is clear, Ashlee spelled her name that way long before Ashlee Simpson ever showed up. Got it?

Here's what I love about Ashlee: she's hilarious and she knows it. If she weren't so pretty and didn't have such an amazing voice, she could be a stand-up comedienne, but alas, it is her lot in life to be an opera diva. With Ashlee, everything is an inside joke. You're either in or you're out. She has a mind like a steel trap, and once something has made an impression on her and she's connected it to a person, that thing and that person are forever linked. I really like this about her. It makes me (and everyone else lucky enough to be Ashlee's friend) feel special.

If Scott's my childish friend, then Ashlee is my up-for-anything friend. Here's a short list of things we've done together: auditioned for a movie; went riverboat gambling; went to Graceland; attended a church service led by the Rev. Al Green; cried at the Art Institute of Chicago; went to the Friendship Tea; toured the state of Arkansas with performances of Schoolhouse Rock Live... and there are many, many more. She's rad.

Ashlee - A+ (for those of you who are wondering about my grading system, let it be known that Ashlee is the ONLY one of my college friends to visit me in Michigan, so she got some extra credit)

Skittles

Oh Skittles, lookin' all pensive.

Skittles and I met about four years ago. We were in a show together, but we didn't really talk or hang out... until one day, Scott come up to me and said," I saw you driving twice this weekend. I think I'm your stalker now. Let's be best friends." And I said, "Okay!" If you think I'm making this up, I'm not. That's pretty much exactly how it went. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Skittles, whose real name is Scott, said that he had always wanted a friend named Cricket, so was it okay if he called me that? I said it was fine, as long as I could call him Skittles. Cricket and Skittles... what are we, guinea pigs?

We all know that our friends fit into categories. You can have go-out-drinking friends, intellectual friends, party friends, people you were good friends with when you were young but now don't have anything in common friends, one-upsmanship friends (otherwise known as friends you don't really like), friends who are like family, and countless other categories. I think Skittles is my "be childish" friend. We play a lot of mini-golf together, and he once gave me a Chuck E. Cheese lunchbox as my tip when I waited tables. Also, Skittles is my stage whore friend. Most of my friends have some sort of performance background, but Skittles is the only one who admits to loving the limelight. His goal in life is to be famous. Picture it - a reality show starring a guy who's a veterinarian by day, karaoke star by night. I'd watch it.

Read Skittles' blog - equippedtofascinate.blogspot.com - and you'll want to be his friend, too. Maybe he'll even give you a nickname!

Skittles - A-

Christy

Most of your probably already know that this is NOT Christy. This is Regina from Mean Girls. However, I think this picture is most appropriate.

Christy decided she wanted to be my friend after she saw me sing my version of Rubber Duckie at the high school talent show. She came up to me and said "Your song was awesome - we're gonna be friends." Okay, maybe that's not exactly what she said, but that was the gist of it. So we started hanging out. Her friends becane my friends, at the expense of some of my other friends. I spent the night at her house all the time. We went to Prom in the same group - Christy and I were best friends, Christy was dating Joe, Joe and Trent were best friends, I went with Trent. Still with me? Christy and I and all of my new friends hung out all summer. It was so much fun - we did all the fun things that non-drinking high school kids in the suburbs do, and I still say the time I was friends with those folks was one of the most fun times I've had.

Then, at the start of the new school year, EVERYTHING CHANGED (melodramatic, yes, but true). I called Christy after the first day of school to ask her how her day was, and she totally blew me off. We barely talked all week, and then, when I met up with her at a football game, she said hi to me and that was it. Thus ended our friendship. We literally never talked again. She stayed friends with all my new friends and they all ditched me. It really, really sucked.

Years later I found out that Christy had become a lesbian; when I told my mom this, she said, "Oh Amanda, you were Christy's girlfriend." Think about it. She went out of her way to befriend me, she made me mix tapes and jewelry, we spent basically every waking minute together for about four months, and then she dumped me.

Christy - D- (I give her some points, because I can now say "Did I ever tell you about my high school girlfriend?)