Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Alexander


First of all, this was not my choice when a rental movie discussion was had last night... but when Christine said, "Can we rent Alexander and make fun of it?," I had to say yes.
This movie is bad bad bad. It's so bad, after about 45 minutes, you can't even make fun of it anymore. Angelina has this crazy accent - basically, she just talks slowly and rolls her Rs - and everyone else has some form of British Isles accent. But they're not all high British! Oh no! I definitely heard Scottish and Irish and some others that were non-descript, but still bad. Then there's the make-up. We think that some make-up artist was reaalllly good at "fixed gouged-out eye effect," because at least three people had that sewn-up-skin-over-the-eye thing. It was disturbing and hilarious all at once.
Not to mention that the thing was boring. Alexander had conquered a whole bunch of places at a very early age, and you never got any of that: no sense of distance or time or conquered-ness. Oliver Stone could take a lesson from the Mel Gibson Braveheart School of Ancient War Filmmaking.
Redeeming factors: Angelina Jolie, Jared Leto and Jonathan Rhys Meyers are super hot, especially in those flimsy togas.

Alexander - D

3 comments:

Bethro said...

ROFL. I haven't seen this movie, but even that little picture of it you are displaying, looks just like what you've described about the whole film!

Chargenda said...

yeah, i am totally going to rent this. Sometimes there are movies that you know will suck, but you just have a need to see...

equippedtofascinate said...

maybe I'm stupid, but they kept doing flashbacks that confused me. They would do a flashback and then it would be 7 years later. I couldn't figure out if it was 7 years later after the flashback took place, or 7 years before the flashback. It bothered me, but then I realized, does it matter? This movie sucks!