Reese and Ryan On The Skids?

I'll feel bad if they break up. I NEVER should have called him Mr. Reese Witherspoon.

vicious rumors about the break-up of Hollywood's Golden Couple - B - we needed a little new celebrity gossip!

Customer Service

What do camels, bazookas, and tanks have to do with customer service? I don't know, but I like it.

On Sunday, I went shoe browsing - no intention to buy - at this store called Running Fit. Jen, the woman who helped me, was so nice, even after I told her I wasn't going to buy anything, I was just fact-finding. She checked out my feet and my stride and recommended several pair of shoes to me. On Monday, I wanted to see what I could find at Tortoise and Hare, another athletic shoe store. I walked in and looked around, and a minue or two later, a guy came up to me and said "Do you need shoes?" Nope, I was hoping for a steak and a nice baked potato. I'm in a shoe store! Of course I need shoes! He said he was helping someone, but the girl at the cash reigster would be done with her customer in just a minute. I understand, it's a small place with just two or three people working at once, and they were a little busy, so I said fine and just looked around a little more... but they never got back to me. Never. The guy who was helping someone else went up to the register at one point and was doing something for the girl, but the girl never came up to me and asked me if I needed anything. It was sort of the opposite of The Buckle, where they accost you as soon as you walk in the door. I was a little pissed off...
So I went back to Running Fit, talked with Jen some more, tried on some shoes and bras and left the store with a brnad new pair of Brooks Adrenalines.
Tortoise and Hare: people say you're the best in town, biut don't let that go to your head. Help all your customers, even the tortoises like me.

Tortoise and Hare - D+
Jen and Running Fit - A+ (I got a discount!)

My All-Time Best Misunderstood Lyric

From You Give Love A Bad Name, by Bon Jovi -

what they really say: "Your blood red nails on your fingertips."

what I heard: "Your blood red nails on your bangin' tits."

How's that for a mental picture!?

my mind in the gutter at 8 years old - A+

Somebody's Gonna Get Slapped!

From Gawker.com -
Sir Elton John has reportedly banned socialite Paris Hilton from his future post-Oscar parties, after she failed to make a compulsory donation to the rocker's AIDS charity. The hotel heiress and her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III attended John's annual bash at Hollywood's Pacific Design Center last Sunday. A party source tells website PageSix.com, "The party is a benefit gala, and tickets are $2,500 a pop. When it was suggested to her that she donate the money, Paris just said, 'Don't you know who I am?' and waltzed right in. Isn't she supposed to be wealthy? Everyone else paid. She won't be asked back." A representative for the Elton John AIDS Foundation confirms The Simple Life reality TV star did not pay for her ticket. However, Hilton's spokesperson insists the party girl intends to make a donation, saying, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money."

Oooh, who do you think is telling the truth!?

Paris being naughty and haughty - C-
her sassy short hair - A-

Edge of Seventeen

I was noticing how often I hear this song on the radio - at least once a day on my favorite '80s-'90s-today radio station - so I decided to write about it. During my Google search for a fun image, I discovered - just today - that Stevie says "Just like the white-winged dove." Until about two years ago, I thought she said "Just like the ones we love sing the song sounds like they're singing," which I guess doesn't make that much sense. When I finally deciphered the word "dove" instead of "love," I really, truly thought she said "Just like the one-winged dove." Now, a one-winged dove is really, really sad, right? It's a symbol of peace gone bad? And why wouldn't a one-winged dove sing whoo, whoo, whoo? I'm a mess.

In honor of my good friend Dustin, today I'm going to ask a question: what songs lyrics do you misunderstand? Please don't give me any trite answers like "Excuse me while I kiss this guy." I want to know what you misunderstand.

Stevie Nicks' mouth full of marbles, or my ears full of wax - C-

Do You Want Some Wine With That Cheese?

There are some things in this world that are cheesy: those fake roses you can get at gas stations, a puppy in a basket for Christmas, Build A Bears, "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. But there are two things that transcend cheese, and cross over to schmaltz - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Josh Groban. When taken independently, these two things are cheesy but totally cool. I watch EMHE when I can, and I went to a Josh Groban concert and own one of his CDs. I'm not knocking them, really. BUT, in combination, we just might exceed the level of cheese acceptable in one sitting. Think about it - EMHE makes me cry anyway, but hearing "You Raise Me Up" during the show? Pass the tissues. Well, I have it on good authority that we'll be hearing a little Josh Groban on this week's episode of EMHE. This is Peter, husband of my good pal Kris, and an accomplished violinist. Peter and his playing partner Kyle play at really important functions all over the state of Oklahoma - they're quite good. Pete and Kyle will be playing the Josh Groban song "You Raise Me Up" on EMHE this week! This is very exciting. Kris says there's no guarantee that we'll get to hear Pete and Kyle for sure, but they did record the song for the show, so we all have our fingers crossed. Please watch EMHE tomorrow night - it's a two-hour episode, so lay in some provisions, but it's super exciting that my buddy is playing on national television. Way to go, Pete!

extreme cheese - C-
Peter playing for EMHE - A+

Kids on Leashes

Most people will disagree with me, but I LOVE kids on leashes! I think it's adorable! You're giving your kids a little freedom and independence - just look at how proud this little tyke is, strutting away in front of his dad - but you're also keeping an eye on them and not letting them get too far away. I think if people put their kids on leashes in public a little more often, we'd have less child-snatching. My favorite type of leash is the springy telephone cord-type leash - I think they're really, really cute.

kids on leashes - A-

Guinea Pig or Lab Rat?

UPDATE: It was fun... kind of! It's an experiment to see if theatrical training improves cognitive functions like memory. I had to listen to and repeat two stories, listen to and repeat and two "grocery lists" (with items like drill, wrench, and pliers) and see figures on a computer screen and then draw them. All of that was fun, but when I got to the part where I had to solve math problems and then say a word, then remember the words in order, I got kind of frustrated because I didn't do so great on that part. My brain hurt.
Also, it's only ten bucks an hour, and Nanna is some kind of Germanic... maybe German, but maybe Polish?
I go back next Monday for phase two!

Later today I am taking part in a psychology experiment at the University of Michigan. I answered a flyer hanging up in the communications builiding at my school that said a study was looking for people with over eight years acting experience... and it pays twenty bucks an hour! So I called, and discovered that the girl heading the study, Nanna Notthoff (I'm expecting her to be German), wanted native English speakers with over eight years acting experience, to take part in a two-hour experiment. That's all I know. I'm excited to see what she asks me, or has me do, and why all the focus on acting experience? Maybe she'll be measuring my emotional response to certain stimuli (oooh, psychology words!), or how well I mask those emotions. Or maybe she'll be a total crackpot and at least I'll get a good laugh out of it. I'll let you know!

psych experiment - updated grade: B+

Project Runway FINALE

Another season of Project Runway has come and gone. I'm sad it's over, I really am. I know that some of you non-watchers out there will be glad to finally stop getting Thursday morning updates, but I think there's going to be a little hole in my blog now. I'll try to give you regular PR updates, for old times' sake.
So, Chloe won. I'm not thrilled about it. She was my least favorite of the top three, but there's no denying that her clothes were amazing. I loved the two prints, and that there were two designs in each print. The huge pink poufy coat thing was weird, but the deep blues were great.
One of my favorite things was when Michael Kors told Daniel to call him. Oooh, Daniel's gonna work for Michael Kors! I love it!

These are my favorites from each designer. I would buy these clothes!




Chloe winning - B
Tim and Andrae at Red Lobster - A
Santino and Daniel having amazing collections - A
overall Project Runway score - A+

Time Management

I have really bad time management skills. I never have time to practice my flute or give my baby a bath... just like in this clock!
For real, I have so much stuff to do and I don't think there are enough hours in the day to do it, unless I stay up all night. Some of my readers know how strange I get when I don't get enough sleep. I've only stayed up all night once in recent memory, and it was a disaster. I couldn't stop laughing. I also tend to tell people things that I shouldn't when I haven't gotten enough sleep, like how bad they look in a certain color, or a secret I was supposed to keep.
But back to time management - I had a whole spring break to do a bunch of school work, and I blew it on scrapbooking... which was super fun, but now I'm in a pinch. I hope I have enough time to shop for one these super sweet time management clocks!

My time management skills - D+

A Little Oscar Fashion

Jada looks like a man in drag, for real. It's partly the strong jawline and partly the arm definition, but the kicker is the false eyelashes. WAY too overpowering for such a tiny person.
















Naomi Watts in Givenchy... or is it Santino Rice? This looks just like the long nude version of his skating costume!

















Look away from the scary hair and non-coordinating shoes! LOOK AWAY!

















That's all I got.

Plantar Fasciitis

I am pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis. My heel hurt so much this morning that I just walked around on my toes. Maybe it's because I'm fat, or maybe it's because I'm trying to be less fat and increased my activity level last week, but my heel certainly does not feel awesome. I hope I don't have to get one of those sleep boots. They are decidedly unsexy. Does anyone know any home remedies for plantar fasciitis?

Does anyone even know what plantar fasciitis is?

Plantar fasciitis - F

The Pink Panther

Hanging out with old people, part two:
This movie was completely ridiculous, yet still funny. I can't believe I paid money to see it, but the old people seemed to like it. I felt a little awkward during the scene when an old lady got knocked over, and during the preview for "The Shaggy Dog," we saw an old lady get knocked over... old people falling down are so funny!
About that: one of our old guys lost his balance on the wheelchair lift on the bus and almost fell four feet to the concrete. Lucky I (and a railing) was there to catch him. Seriously, he was headed for the ground and I used my brute strength to get him upright. He cut his hand and bled all over the place (those darn blood thinners) and now I have old guy blood on my sweatshirt.
ANYWAY, The Pink Panther was pretty stupid, but that PG humor that caters toward young kids also keeps the old floks laughing. I liked Jean Reno, playing a French guy (what a stretch for him!), and there was a delightful uncredited cameo by the one and only Clive Owen, who I LOVE. Steve Martin was fine and Beyonce was cute, but I'm mystified by the presence of Kristin Chenoweth in this movie - sure, she's cute, blond and short, but why have her in this movie if she's not going to sing? She was kind of a waste in this, if you ask me.

The Pink Panther - C-

Oscar Recap

My favorite Oscar moment: when the Wallace and Gromit guys put the little bow ties on their Oscars... so cute!
My least favorite Oscar moment: Taraji P. Henson trying to sing that high note in "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." She got there eventually, but it was a scary process.
The good news - I was 7 for 8 in the major categories (Crash... who knew?). The bad news: overall, I was 16 for 24. Not great, not horrible either, but I would have liked to have done better. Next year I'm changing it up with a different system, and I can't wait.
HUGE KUDOS to Charlie for getting a whopping 21 out of 24 correct! You are the chief prognosticator!

My Oscar night - B

Old Country Buffet

OK, I do not like Old Country Buffet. I ate there today because I was doing this community service project with some old people and that's where the powers that be decided we should eat. First of all, I don't like big buffets. The sight of all that food turns me off. Second, the food all seems pretty unhealthy - lots of starch, lots of fried, and lots of dessert. Third, because I don't eat a lot while I'm there, my buffet ends up being really pricey. I ate a $10 baked potato and bowl of frozen yogurt. No more OCB.

Old Country Buffet - D- (points 'cause old people like it)

Walk the Line

Poor Walk the Line. In any other year, it would have been a tremendous movie, but coming the year after Ray, it all seemed stale. This is not either movie's fault, just bad timing. I kept thinking "Seen it. Seen that, too. Seen that WAY too may times." Bad luck, WTL.
This movie didn't make a huge impression on me. It was solid, entertaining, the acting was good, the music was fun (and yes, I'm impressed that Joaq and Reese did their own singing), and overall it was fine. But I didn't LOVE it. Like I said, it probably has something to do with seeing Ray this time last year (and I didn't love Ray, either, FYI). Walk the Line was fine, but it didn't invoke any feelings of passion in me. I'll take a solid stance on two things: 1, the red dress Reese wears during the tractor scene is breathtaking - I love the sheer sleeve thing; 2, I hate when movies wrap up at the end with the words on the screen. We all know that June and Johnny stayed married, raised kids etc., and died a couple years ago within a few months of each other. It happened RECENTLY. We REMEMBER it. The movie did not need to shove it down our throats with the words on the screen! Ray did that, too, and I just hate it. Totally unnecessary.

As far as Reese winning the Oscar... yes, she will. I don't quite understand it, but she will. She was good, for sure, but I think she'll be winning the award because she's playing against her type, not because it was the best lead female performance of the year. Elle Woods was pushed aside and the Academy wants to honor that, that's my theory. I still think Felicity should win, though.

Walk the Line - a nice, solid B

My Final Oscar Picks

It has been really difficult for me to make my final Oscar picks this year. I'm torn in a lot of the categories. I think I should go with my heart in some of these categories, but if I do that, then I certainly won't win my Oscar pool. So here goes:

BEST PICTURE - Brokeback Mountain

BEST DIRECTOR - Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain

BEST ACTOR - Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote

BEST ACTRESS - Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
who I really want to win - Felicity Huffman, Transamerica

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - George Clooney, Syriana
who I really want to win - Matt Dillon, Crash

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
who I really want to win - Amy Adams, Junebug

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - Brokeback Mountain

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Crash
who I really want to win - The Squid and the Whale

BEST ART DIRECTION - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Brokeback Mountain

BEST FILM EDITING - Crash

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST ORIGINAL SONG - "In the Deep," Crash
who I would be thrilled to see win - "Travelin' Thru," Transamerica

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS - King Kong

BEST SOUND EDITING - King Kong

BEST SOUND MIXING - King Kong

BEST COSTUME DESIGN - Memoirs of a Geisha

BEST MAKEUP - The Chronicles of Narnia

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM - Paradise Now

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE - Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

BEST ANIMATED SHORT - One Man Band

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE - March of the Penguins
who I really want to win - Murderball

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT - God Sleeps in Rwanda (I picked this before I saw that Charlie picked it, too)

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT - Ausreisser

Project Runway

Only week until the PR finale! Who do you think is going to win? Based on what I've seen of the collections so far... I still don't know. My heart says Santino - his stuff is really, really gorgeous. Plus, between this week and last week's shows, he has completely grown on me. Maybe his arrogance was all a cover for insecurity, but I'm back liking him. But only a little. LA dwellers, how much do you think he pays in rent for that house? It looked big - and pricey - and how can someone who sold his shop afford that much house? At any rate... Chloe doesn't impress me right now. I did NOT like the big pink coat, and while the navy blue dress with the cut-out back was lovely, I have never liked Grace, her model, and I think that putting her in that dress as the show-stopping final piece of the collection is a mistake. I'm super worried for Daniel. I would love to see him win, but I think Tim Gunn's lack of enthusiasm is a bad sign. Yes, it's pretty stuff, and yes, women would actually wear it, but it's possible that the collection didn't make a big splash at Fashion Week. I love that the non-finalist designers were brought back to assist the finalists! They're certainly going to need the help. Daniel needs buttons on everything, and Chloe and Santino looked like they had gone into mind meltdown. With that said, what the hell was Chloe thinking choosing Diana as her assistant? Why didn't she choose Kara? I think that plan will backfire bad.
I'm a little sad that next week is the last week. I will NOT be watching Top Chef. Doesn't America's Next Top Model start again next Wednesay?

Project Runway - A-

Stand Off, My Ass

What follows is an exact copy of my friend Zara's blog from a day or two ago. I have changed no words or grammar. Read it all - you won't be sorry.

mmmkay, so basically i went into work today. no big deal. it's a friday, everyone and their mother wants to rent a bagillion movies (horror films especially) and it is my job to see to it that they get exactly what they want when they want it. no, more than that. i am supposed to exceed the expectations of my customers with my stellar customer service skills. i fucking love blockbuster! i get paid for pretending like i give a shit, even if i don't. seriously, this is the best jof my life. so i am busy at the counter with this 50 something fat WASPy man serving him popcorn and unlocking the case to his "barenaked brooke" dvd, when he says, "ya know.....you're pretty good at this!" why, thank you. i know. and i'm new. and i rock. and for the first time in my life i am not serving people food (okay, popcorn is food, but not really)....then this mohawked fat ass comes up to me and says "....uhh....do you know what's going on out there?" i look out the window and there are 5 cop cars blocking the entrance and exit to blockbuster.....my blockbuster....i am thinking what the fuck???? i thought my last job was the buisness with the meth lab in the basement,,,, not this one!!!!!!!! then i see these two hoodlums who have locked themselves in a car with minnesota plates...right in front of our glass window/wall. great. the police get on the loud speaker and order these assholes out of the car. then the guns come out. on both sides. there is a complete stand off in the parking lot, and all i am doing is racking my brain to try and remember what the blockbuster introductory video said to do when there are hoodlumd with guns in my parking lot. the answer of course was to keep serving free popcorn. so that is exactly what i did. i was ringing someone up for the videos Saw II, Legend of Zorro, and Elizabethtown when the phone rings. The conversation goes a little something like this:

"Thank you for calling Cherryland Blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want. this is zara, can you hold?"---"No, i can't maam. this is 911". "oh, shit! hey, whats up?"--" The police presence outside your building have requested that everyone step away from the windows, and if need be, take shelter."--"oh, thank you very much." CLICK

so, apparently, in 5 minutes, my job has gone from asking people if the want any double bubble cotton candy that turns to chewing gum, to, hearding michiganders into the unwindowed portion of the store so they don't get shot. hoo-fucking-ray! of course i tell everyone to get back from the windows, but these people are fucking retarted. i swear to god. apparently, it more important to press your face up to the glass and look into the car of suspects with firearms, than it is to avoid getting shot!!! oy. michigan breeds some good ones. so blady blady blah. at this point, no one is alllowed to leave the building for obvious reasons. this girl comes up to me and she was like, do you have a copy of waiting?? no, we're all out. and then she goes to walk out the door. i'm like, "umm, maam, you can't leave just yet. have you noticed what's going on outside??" "yeah, but i left my lights on, and my battery is gonna die. "it really isn't safe to leave right now maam." " you are gonna make me late for my date! what am i gonna do, stay in blockbuster all night? i don't think." she then proceeds to walk out of the building directly in the line of fire from the cops and the hoodlums. a small part of me wishes that she would have gotten shot. not died or anything, but maybe shot in the finger or something. like JD in heathers. oy. well that was my day. no shots were fired. the badguys took their precious time and then surrendered. the cops stuck around for another hour or two. and for the rest of the night i had to answer calls from a bunch of newsreporters and the like. my favorite call of the night was this guy that called like three hours after the fact.

once again:

"thank you for calling cherryland blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want, this is zara, how can i help you?" --"hey, uhhh, like, what happened earlier? my friend called and told me that some shit went down."--"well, there was a stand off in our parking lot. lots of police presence, it looked like two suspects. There were guns involved but no shots were fired. Everything is fine. the suspects have been taken into custody, and the police have already cleared out."--"oh, cause, like, my friend called and told me that, but he is just the kinda guy that would call and say something like that, ya know? like, he is always say weird shit like that, so i didn't really believe. but, uhh, wow. so what else happened?"--"well, that was about it. we had to stay indoors away from the windows and stuff, but everything went well. thank you for your concern though."--"yeah alright cause i was like, no, this isn't for real"--"nope, it really was for real. all over now though, are there any movies i can help you find?"--"oh, uh, no, i just wanted to call and see if my friend was lying or not"--"alright sir, well thank you for calling blockbuster and have a nice day." CLICK

so everyone, how was your day?

Zara's Blockbuster adventure - A+

The Triplets of Belleville

I like to catch up on Oscar-nominated films, and while The Triplets of Belleville didn't stand a chance against powerhouse Finding Nemo, I had been wanting to see it anyway. Hooray for Netflix!
Triplets was really, really odd, but in a good way. I don't think I can give an accurate synopsis, but let's just say there are bikes, triplets, frogs, a kidnapping, trains, evil henchmen, and a fat dog. One of the things that was super sweet about Triplets was the minimal dialogue. It wasn't a dialogue-driven movie, like Nemo, but rather picture-driven. Remember those picture books you used to read when you were a kid, and they didn't have any words but the pictures told you everything you needed to know? The Triplets of Belleville is just like that. The music is cool, the pictures are cool, but I didn't LOVE it. I liked the minimal dialogue, but I was confused a lot, and kept waiting for the action. Maybe it's a French thing.

The Triplets of Belleville - B

Move Over, Brangelina

Celebrity couples - you can love 'em, you can hate 'em, but you have to link their names. Bennifer, TomKat, Bennifer, Brangelina, and others, I'm sure, but this weekend, I heard the best one ever:

FILLIAM H. MUFFMAN.

Say it our loud - Filliam H. Muffman. From what I understand, Steven Colbert came up with this, and made himself laugh on his show. That's genius right there.

Filliam H. Muffman - A+

(if you know these people, don't tell them I said this, unless they'd think it was funny, in which case, just tell them about my blog in general...)

Hall and Oates

Private eyes are watching you!

Hall and Oates arer looking a little worse for the wear these days, but in their heyday, they were total studs. Check out that mustache - eat your heart out, Tom Selleck!

Hall and Oates - B

Elmo's Coloring Book

As many of you know, my very good friend (and former roommate) Dustin is a member of the national tour of Sesame Street Live: Elmo's Coloring Book. Our friend Linda and I made the little trek to Detroit's Fox Theater yesterday to see the wonders of Elmo's Coloring Book for ourselves. After seeing the show, I have decided that being a high school drama teacher is not my true calling. No, I'm giving all that up and I'm going to follow Elmo's Coloring Book around the country. You know how some people do that with Phish, or used to with the Grateful Dead? Well, I can't get enough of the ECB, so I'm going to take my life savings and see them as much as I can. For real.
The show was AMAZING. I knew it would be good, but I thought it might be a little cheesy. There was no cheese here, I tell you! It was high-energy, super cute, really engaging, and with just enough sexual innuendo, whether intentional or unintentional, to keep two grown-ups without kids highly entertained. And it had a plot that everyone could follow! I couldn't believe it! Someone (or something) was stealing colors - Oscar the Grounch turend white! - from Elmo's Coloring Book, and it was up to Professor Art, Elmo, and the rest of the Sesame Street Gang to figure out who and why. In true Sesame Street fashion, when the culprit was found, apologies and friends were made. And the dancing! Those Muppets were incredible. I couldn't believe how fast they could move in those enormous costumes, or how high they could kick. Telly was my favorite - I could totally tell that there was a sassy gay man inside that big purple costume working it out! One of the perks of knowing the STAR of the show was I got to attend the "meet and greet" with Elmo and Grover. Elmo was much shorter than I expected. There were some little kids at the meet and greet, and they just about lost their minds with excitement. It takes special people to be good with kids while wearing big fuzzy costumes, so mad props to the Elmo and Grover folks for being super nice. From left to right: Dustin, Linda, David Copperfield, Elmo, Grover, and me - a melange of color!
There was one thing about the show that really bothered me: who the hell was the bear in the overalls with the speech impediment? About halfway through the show, this bear showed up, didn't add anything to the plot, talked all crazy, and then left. Who was he? I haven't watched Sesame Street in years, and this character was completely new to me. Plus, why introduce a new creature in the middle when it has nothing to do with the story? Linda and I kept looking at each other like, Who the eff is that?
Other high points: cotton candy at 10:30 AM, and the tiny girl in the seat in front of me who bounced up and down every time Elmo came on stage... aww!

Elmo's Coloring Book - A- (that damn bear)

Do You Have What It Takes?

Blogs aren't for everyone. I know a few people who started blogs and couldn't hack it, and quit after about two weeks. The world would be a better place if we still had regular updates from these charming bloggers, but what are you gonna do?
Two of the newest additions to the blogosphere are Doctor Fun and Mommy Look What I Made - penned by these fine folks you see here, my brother and his lovely fiancee. Ya'll should check out their blogs. I am expecting greatness here - these are two of the wittiest people I know - but what if blogging doesn't take with Pat and Nat? At least we will have seen this gorgeous picture, and this post will not have been in vain.

Doctor Fun and MLWIM - I for incomplete - show us more!

The Constant Gardener

Hmmm, The Constant Gardener... this movie was wonderful, thought-provoking, complex, and visually stunning, and I would say one of the best movies I've seen in 2006, but I don't usually go for complicated, quiet "thrillers" that don't come together until the very end. It was painful, really, because the movie made me angsty. I was worried for the characters, and I wanted to know the outcome immediately. Also, when a movie confuses me long enough, I get a little turned off - like, Get on with it and tell me the truthful answers, so about an hour and forty-fvie minutes into it, The Constant Gardener started to really piss me off. I think The Constant Gardener will require a second viewing so that I completely understand it, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.
Rachel Weisz was magnificent, by the way - I get the "hype," and I totally think she's gonna win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. Big step up from The Mummy 2, huh?

The Constant Gardener - B+

Project Runway Reunion

Wow! Kara's engaged! Kirsten's pregnant! Emmett has bizarre hair! Lupe's crazy, and John's THIN! Last night's show was pretty exciting. I liked how they tried to feature everyone, even though some people just didn't have as much exciting stuff to start with. I mean, Heidi Standridge is stupid AND was only one on show, so she wasn't too much fun to hear from. I was stunned by how nuts Lupe seemed. Maybe she was just super drunk, but I think she has some issues. Also, I'd like to know more about this big Nick-Santino falling out. It didn't seem that bad on the show, but at least five months have elapsed since they shot it and when they aired it. Maybe s celebrity gossip column will fill us in.

Where's Andrae?

Project Runway Reunion - A-

T-Shirt Quilt

Oooh, I'm so excited! One of my many little sisses from sorority days is an accomplished quilter, and a few months ago, my parents sent her all my old sorority, band, theatre, and a couple miscellaneous t-shirts so she could turn them into a quilt... and I got it in the mail today! I really, really like it. It's so big, I think it would fit a king-size bed - granted, I don't have any beds that big, and it barely fits in my linen closet, but she fit in all the shirts I wanted, which is super cool. Also, Heather quilted it in this beautiful hearty-swirly pattern. Really, it's totally gorgeous. Mom had thought that the quilt could be backed in fleece, but Heather's machine can't handle that, so she backed it in bright turquoise and hemmed the fleece, so now I have a new quilt and a new fleece blanket. I don't know it it's anything I will ever put on a bed, but it's really cool to have as a memento, and if anyone ever comes to visit again, now we have some extra blankets!

my new t-shirt quilt - A- (a few points off for its massiveness, but only a few)

Jenny Lewis, All Grown Up

A few weeks back, Noah and friends were talking on their blog about Shelley Long and her bad movies, including Troop Beverly Hills. Now, I love Troop Beverly Hills - it's one of my most favorite movies; I always like that Tori Spelling, Kelly Martin, and Carla Gugino were in it when they were young, but I always wondered what happened to Jenny Lewis, the little girl who played Shelley Long's daughter (that's her in "A Friendship in Vienna"). Well, just yesterday, while reading an old copy of Jane, I discovered that Miss Lewis has been keeping busy with a little band called Rilo Kiley. Jenny's all indie-fied, and I don't know if I like it. Look at her! She's so hip and beautiful in that cultivated, I'm-a-musician kind of way. How much do you think she paid for that dress? Either twelve dollars or seven hundred dollars, and both prospects kind of gross me out. I guess to me Jenny'll just always be the little redhead doing the Freddy on the lawn of the nursing home.

the new and improved Jenny Lewis - C+

Blue Nile

One of the best things about out-of-town guests is their desire to eat out. Last night, Nate, Meggie, Nate's mom and dad, Nate's friend Tony and I ate at The Blue Nile Ethiopian restaurant. I had eaten Ethiopian food once before, with Nate and Tony at this little place in Lansing, and it was super good, so we all suggested that the whole crew try it. Tony says Ethiopian food is like what they eat in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (although I thought they ate monkey brains in that movie, but whatever). There were no utensils - you use this thin spongy bread to sop up the food. Blue Nile gave us jasmine-scented hot washcloths to clean our hands before we ate, which was a really nice touch. We ordered the meat feast, which was delicious. My favorite part was the spicy red lentils, and I also liked the mild chicken. Everything was really good except for the potato/carrot dish; it was just too much like what comes on the side of pot roast, and had nothing interesting about it. For dessert, we had the tradition Ethiopian dessert of chocolate mousse in a white chocolate cup... what? It was good, but was it Ethiopian?

Blue Nile - A-

The New Face of Badgley Mischka?

Mary-Kate and Ashley look amazing, but aren't they a little short to be models? Good luck to Mark and James in working with the new proportions.

Mary-Kate and Ashley "working" for Badgley Mischka (like they need the money) - B

Godiva G Series

My little Meggie is visiting this weekend, and to show her thanks for the home stay and to have a little Mom celebration, she brought a box of Godiva G Series chocolates. Mad props to Meggie for bringing such an awesome host gift! Nate, Meggie and I had a chocolate tasting party last night - we cut most of the 15 pieces into three little pieces so we could each have a tiny taste of each of them (mad props to Nate for suggesting this idea). As you can kind of see from this picture, these chocolates are works of art - lots of them were hand painted, and all of them were "hand crafted." From top to bottom, left to right, the flavors were:
P.B. and Jam; Passion Orange; Tart Raspberry; Mexican Hot Chocolate; Tasmanian Honey; Praline Crunch; Bananas Foster; Palet d'Or; Tahitian Vanilla; Italian Espresso; Vermont Maple Walnut; Key Lime Pie; Salted Caramel; Apple Pie; Thai Coconut... jealous yet? They were all basically fabulous, but some more than others. I LOVED the Tart Raspberry and Key Lime Pie, while the Apple Pie and Tahitian Vanilla weren't chocolately enough. The more "traditional" flavors, like the raspberry, walnut and praline were superb, but the exotic ones like the orange and honey were just a little too over the top for my simple tastes. The tasting and commenting was super fun - Nate and Meggie are both foodies, so they knew what was good and why.
Sad to say, the G Series has been retired - I'm glad I got to know it while I had a chance.

Godiva G Series - A-

overheard:

the set-up: I'm walking behind these two girls, when suddenly a guy starts to walk past them.

Him - Cheryl?
Her - Christopher!?
Him - Hey, how's it going?
Her - Good, good! How's it going?
Him - Good!
pause
Her - So, what's up?
Him - Nothing! What's up with you?
Her - Nothing!
Him - Well, see ya!
Her - Yeah, see ya!
to girl #2, while walking away - That was my cousin!

And, scene.

LAMEST CONVERSATION EVER - D+ (points for sheer absurdity)

Cordless Razor

I saw a guy using one of these yesterday standing next to his car in the parking lot at school. And he was wearing full fatigues. It was truly bizarre. I didn't think people actually did that, but what do I know? At least he wan't using it while he was driving.

parking lot shaver - C+

Pets In Clothes

My friend Erika thinks pets in clothes are super creepy, but she's never seen Wombat in his fancy turtleneck. My future sister-in-law knit this for her parents' dog, and I think he looks like a champ. Notice the sassy orange stripe, mixed with the mottled sage green - very chic. Plus, he's a pretty little dog, and probably gets cold when those winds blow in off the ocean, so I think this sweater is perfect for when Wombat gets a chill.



Wombat - A-; Wombat in his sweater - A+

Project Runway - The FInal Three!

Kara is OUT. I'm a little sad about this, because she really started to grow on me, but ultimately the top three designers made it in to Fashion Week.

Which happened just last week, by the way. One of the things I love about Project Runway is that they have the last designer out still design a collection for Fashion Week, as a decoy. Doesn't Kara look great? I think it's so cute that she said "I'll be there on the front row," but really she was working her clothes on the runway. Yay for Kara!

So, Daniel, Chloe and Santino. Not sure how I feel about that. It was so obvious that Chloe did not "want it" - the other three all said it! Well, I'm sure she presented an outstanding collection. As for Santino, I'm sure his collection was awesome, too, but probably too gaudy, and his bitchiness probably didn't help things. I'm pulling for Daniel. A little 24 year old from Michigan winning Project Runway? Yes, please!

Project Runway - B+ - c'mon, you know it was sort of a filler episode... bring on Fashion Week!

I'm In Love, or Too Much Information

I have a secret - I have a penchant for African-American men. Well, African-American celebrities. My first celebrity crush was Denzel Washington on St. Elsewhere; a few years later, I fell for Blair Underwood on LA Law. In November, I fell head over heels in love with Jesse L. Martin - he has the most beautiful smile. Now I have a new favorite - Robin Szolkowy, the Olympic pairs figure skater from Germany. Why him, do you ask? Because of his ass. Robin has the most luscious ass I've ever seen. True, those figure skating costumes totally accentuate how wonderful it is, but he really does have a luscious melon ass. Look at those cheeks! They're like pillows made of muscle! I just want to squeeze them. Robin, if you ever need your butt squeezed (by someone who does NOT look like Christina Aguilera - what's up with that?), just give me a call and I can fill your butt-squeezing needs.

Robin's beautiful ass - A+

Grey's Anatomy Season 1

Curse the impulse buy! I was in Best Buy looking for a video game chair for Nate, and saw this little gem on sale for $16.95. I had to get it! I want to catch up on all the things I missed during the first season (which is basically everything, since I started watching about four episodes from the end). I'm pretty excited about it. Now, I shouldn't have even gone into Best Buy, since I already had a Valentine's Day present for the Nate-Dogg, but I did, and I left with something I wanted just a little but couldn't resist.
And I didn't buy the chair.

impulse buys - C+
Grey's Anatomy on DVD - A-