Friday, March 31, 2006
Props to Fox for that super-fly hat.
the security summit IN CANCUN - C
Thursday, March 30, 2006
However, the printer came at an unreasonable cost: Nate and I got into a fight in Best Buy. Like assholes. There wasn't screaming or punching or anything, but it was gross. I hated it. People shouldn't fight about printers.
new printer: convenience, speed, overall delightfulness - A-
the fight the stupid printer caused - D
average grade - B-
ps. everything's fine now
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Steven!
celebrity throat surgery - C
loud breather - D+ (awarded a few sympathy points for illness, if that's the case)
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Mothers, speak out - what do you think? Did you make noise, even a little, when you had your precious babies?
silent birth - C-
Monday, March 27, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
HUGE thanks to my friend Amy, who shared this story with me.
When cows hit road, there's no exiting the trouble on I-10
Roger Croteau EXPRESS-NEWS STAFF WRITER
In a wild series of incidents that started with a loose tailgate and ended with a grass fire Wednesday night, two Seguin police cars were destroyed, at least two cows were killed, three suspected undocumented immigrants were jailed and Interstate 10 was closed. Pay attention. This is complicated.
At about 9:45 p.m., the gate fell open on an 18-wheeler hauling cattle east near the Texas 123 bypass in Seguin.
"Cows started being deposited on the highway," Seguin police spokeswoman Maureen Watson said.
Five or six cows hit the road. One was struck by another 18-wheeler and dragged about a half-mile. Another was hit by a minivan. Both animals died, blocking the highway among the remaining injured cows.
Texas Department of Public Safety troopers arrived and started clearing the scene, using a truck to drag the dead cows off the road and rounding up the live ones.
That's when a pickup, reported stolen in Houston, sped through the scene, almost hitting a DPS trooper directing traffic, Watson said.
A short chase ensued. Three men abandoned the pickup and ran into the brush along the highway.
Two Seguin patrol cars that had joined the chase parked amid the grass along the highway, and the officers jumped out and chased the fugitives.
They caught the men, but when the officers returned the prisoners to their patrol cars, they saw that heat from the engines had sparked a grass fire that torched both vehicles, one of which was brand new.
Crews arrived to fight the rapidly spreading fire, and Interstate 10 was closed. Eastbound lanes were shut for about 45 minutes. The men, believed to be undocumented immigrants, were brought to the Guadalupe County jail. Their names and charges against them were not available Thursday afternoon.
The driver of the cattle truck was cited for driving with an unsecured load.
"The whole chain of events was pretty bizarre," Watson said. "The damage to the cars was $50,000 to $60,000."
a Hot time
--Cows spill on highway when trailer gate opens.
--Pickup speeds past scene. As police chase it, suspects jump out.
--Officers park amid grass to apprehend suspects. Heat from engines ignites grass and burns police cars.
Just in case you couldn't remember the key points, the article even wraps it up for you! How thoughtful! That was Amy's favorite part... "So, let me get this straight - the illegal immigrants set the cows loose? Wait, that's not right. Let me check the recap."
quite possibly the most unfortunate and most bizarre series of events to ever transpire - A+
I applaud the notion of a musical with new music - sometimes a novel concept in this world of Mamma Mia!, Movin' Out, and Footloose - but this seems like a bad idea all around. For one thing, the LOTR trilogy is LONG. How can you turn it into a musical without leaving out some crucial components? Second, there aren't enough love interests. Musicals need love to power them along, and to create a catalyst for the ballads. Finally, on some level, musicals need to be flashy, and while I'd be willing to bet that the sets for this are amazing, the potentially all-brown and cream palette of the costumes would be enough by itself to make me fall asleep while watching.
I'll stick with the movies.
Lord of the Rings - the musical - D+
Thursday, March 23, 2006
One of the craziest things about working for a non-profit organization is you're supposed to be more interested in the success and well-being of the organization than you are in personal gain. Whatever - I have bills to pay!
getting a raise - A+!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
If you ever need a date to a wedding, call me. I will drive almost anywhere to go to a wedding. You should be aware, though, that I might rate said wedding on here.
41 weddings in 10 years - A+
p.s. this is a picture of my bridesmaid's dress for Pat and Natalie's wedding - I look smokin' hot in it!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Just providing a little public service for all my readers!
new toothbrushes - A- (don't you hate paying money for something like a toothbrush? I give my dentist an A for giving out good toothbrushes for free!)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
My special box is pretty big. There's a lot of stuff in it, so here's a list of SOME of the things in my box:
two Interlochen graduation programs; a spork from Taco Bell painted with my high school sorority colors; a medal for Outstanding Newcomer from the 1997 ATU Theatre Guild Awards; Dustin's senior picture; ZTA secrets; high school ID; the only fax I've ever gotten; the poetry chapbook I wrote my senior year of high school (dedicated to Charlie); a love letter from Dave; my St. Genesius letter, saying I've been inducted into sainthood; a postcard of Nina Simone; a letter from Whitney Kirk, Miss Arkansas 2003; about 40 postcards and letters from Ashley; a Polaroid of my mom, circa 1984; CORE Team bingo; Ryan Camden's funeral program; a piece of yellow bungee cord, from G. Chad Thomas, from Fine Arts Camp; a tiny gold megaphone; the best birthday card ever from Pat - with Abba on the front!; an "old-timey" picture of me, Katie Shelley, and Katie Hollingsworth; mutliple love notes from Nate; all the wedding invitations I've ever gotten; a banner from Crazy for You that reads "1984 Prom Queen"; four dice; a Cinderella Valentine from Sarah Pollard
and lots, lots more
special boxes - A+
Remember when Jared Leto was super hot? I used to really like him, and called cute (real life) guys in my high school Jordan Catelano.
Lindsay looks super cute in that hat, though.
Fat Jared Leto - C- (a few points awarded for "dedication to his craft")
Friday, March 17, 2006
Last St. Patrick's Day, I had two Killian's with lunch (which was cheddar ale soup and and battered artichoke hearts stuffed with cheese), then went bowling, where I proceeded to drink two or three more beers. I then went to Traverse City's "Irish pub," where I puked in an alley in broad daylight. This made me think that I should go home and grab a nap before I began work at 9 PM, and on my way to my car, I puked again, this time in a parking structure... so while I endorse daytime drinking, I also endorse more than a bowl of soup and some fried battered artichokes for the meal on which the alcohol rests.
This St. Patrick's Day, I am staying home and doing laundry.
St. Patrick's Day - B+
Thursday, March 16, 2006
2. It's written by this lady named... L1.
3. She never reveals her real name.
4. I love that.
5. Recently, L1 tried to get her blog accepted into this blogring based in Atlanta, where she lives.
6. For some reason, this Metrobloggers site wouldn't accept her blog, even after she sent them a sample post.
7. This is horsehit. L1 has one of the best blogs I've ever read. It's funny, it's sassy, and she uses this numbered-bullet system, which is really, really cool.
8. I have decided that Metrobloggers is lame, and my readers are cool.
9. Therefore, welcome L1 and tinysliceoflife to my blog links. You'll love her.
Tiny Slice of Life - A
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
On Sunday, I went shoe browsing - no intention to buy - at this store called Running Fit. Jen, the woman who helped me, was so nice, even after I told her I wasn't going to buy anything, I was just fact-finding. She checked out my feet and my stride and recommended several pair of shoes to me. On Monday, I wanted to see what I could find at Tortoise and Hare, another athletic shoe store. I walked in and looked around, and a minue or two later, a guy came up to me and said "Do you need shoes?" Nope, I was hoping for a steak and a nice baked potato. I'm in a shoe store! Of course I need shoes! He said he was helping someone, but the girl at the cash reigster would be done with her customer in just a minute. I understand, it's a small place with just two or three people working at once, and they were a little busy, so I said fine and just looked around a little more... but they never got back to me. Never. The guy who was helping someone else went up to the register at one point and was doing something for the girl, but the girl never came up to me and asked me if I needed anything. It was sort of the opposite of The Buckle, where they accost you as soon as you walk in the door. I was a little pissed off...
So I went back to Running Fit, talked with Jen some more, tried on some shoes and bras and left the store with a brnad new pair of Brooks Adrenalines.
Tortoise and Hare: people say you're the best in town, biut don't let that go to your head. Help all your customers, even the tortoises like me.
Tortoise and Hare - D+
Jen and Running Fit - A+ (I got a discount!)
Monday, March 13, 2006
what they really say: "Your blood red nails on your fingertips."
what I heard: "Your blood red nails on your bangin' tits."
How's that for a mental picture!?
my mind in the gutter at 8 years old - A+
Sir Elton John has reportedly banned socialite Paris Hilton from his future post-Oscar parties, after she failed to make a compulsory donation to the rocker's AIDS charity. The hotel heiress and her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos III attended John's annual bash at Hollywood's Pacific Design Center last Sunday. A party source tells website PageSix.com, "The party is a benefit gala, and tickets are $2,500 a pop. When it was suggested to her that she donate the money, Paris just said, 'Don't you know who I am?' and waltzed right in. Isn't she supposed to be wealthy? Everyone else paid. She won't be asked back." A representative for the Elton John AIDS Foundation confirms The Simple Life reality TV star did not pay for her ticket. However, Hilton's spokesperson insists the party girl intends to make a donation, saying, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money."
Oooh, who do you think is telling the truth!?
Paris being naughty and haughty - C-
her sassy short hair - A-
In honor of my good friend Dustin, today I'm going to ask a question: what songs lyrics do you misunderstand? Please don't give me any trite answers like "Excuse me while I kiss this guy." I want to know what you misunderstand.
Stevie Nicks' mouth full of marbles, or my ears full of wax - C-
Saturday, March 11, 2006
extreme cheese - C-
Peter playing for EMHE - A+
kids on leashes - A-
Friday, March 10, 2006
Also, it's only ten bucks an hour, and Nanna is some kind of Germanic... maybe German, but maybe Polish?
I go back next Monday for phase two!
Later today I am taking part in a psychology experiment at the University of Michigan. I answered a flyer hanging up in the communications builiding at my school that said a study was looking for people with over eight years acting experience... and it pays twenty bucks an hour! So I called, and discovered that the girl heading the study, Nanna Notthoff (I'm expecting her to be German), wanted native English speakers with over eight years acting experience, to take part in a two-hour experiment. That's all I know. I'm excited to see what she asks me, or has me do, and why all the focus on acting experience? Maybe she'll be measuring my emotional response to certain stimuli (oooh, psychology words!), or how well I mask those emotions. Or maybe she'll be a total crackpot and at least I'll get a good laugh out of it. I'll let you know!
psych experiment - updated grade: B+
Thursday, March 09, 2006
So, Chloe won. I'm not thrilled about it. She was my least favorite of the top three, but there's no denying that her clothes were amazing. I loved the two prints, and that there were two designs in each print. The huge pink poufy coat thing was weird, but the deep blues were great.
One of my favorite things was when Michael Kors told Daniel to call him. Oooh, Daniel's gonna work for Michael Kors! I love it!
These are my favorites from each designer. I would buy these clothes!
Chloe winning - B
Tim and Andrae at Red Lobster - A
Santino and Daniel having amazing collections - A
overall Project Runway score - A+
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
For real, I have so much stuff to do and I don't think there are enough hours in the day to do it, unless I stay up all night. Some of my readers know how strange I get when I don't get enough sleep. I've only stayed up all night once in recent memory, and it was a disaster. I couldn't stop laughing. I also tend to tell people things that I shouldn't when I haven't gotten enough sleep, like how bad they look in a certain color, or a secret I was supposed to keep.
But back to time management - I had a whole spring break to do a bunch of school work, and I blew it on scrapbooking... which was super fun, but now I'm in a pinch. I hope I have enough time to shop for one these super sweet time management clocks!
My time management skills - D+
Monday, March 06, 2006
Naomi Watts in Givenchy... or is it Santino Rice? This looks just like the long nude version of his skating costume!
Look away from the scary hair and non-coordinating shoes! LOOK AWAY!
That's all I got.
Does anyone even know what plantar fasciitis is?
Plantar fasciitis - F
This movie was completely ridiculous, yet still funny. I can't believe I paid money to see it, but the old people seemed to like it. I felt a little awkward during the scene when an old lady got knocked over, and during the preview for "The Shaggy Dog," we saw an old lady get knocked over... old people falling down are so funny!
About that: one of our old guys lost his balance on the wheelchair lift on the bus and almost fell four feet to the concrete. Lucky I (and a railing) was there to catch him. Seriously, he was headed for the ground and I used my brute strength to get him upright. He cut his hand and bled all over the place (those darn blood thinners) and now I have old guy blood on my sweatshirt.
ANYWAY, The Pink Panther was pretty stupid, but that PG humor that caters toward young kids also keeps the old floks laughing. I liked Jean Reno, playing a French guy (what a stretch for him!), and there was a delightful uncredited cameo by the one and only Clive Owen, who I LOVE. Steve Martin was fine and Beyonce was cute, but I'm mystified by the presence of Kristin Chenoweth in this movie - sure, she's cute, blond and short, but why have her in this movie if she's not going to sing? She was kind of a waste in this, if you ask me.
The Pink Panther - C-
My least favorite Oscar moment: Taraji P. Henson trying to sing that high note in "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." She got there eventually, but it was a scary process.
The good news - I was 7 for 8 in the major categories (Crash... who knew?). The bad news: overall, I was 16 for 24. Not great, not horrible either, but I would have liked to have done better. Next year I'm changing it up with a different system, and I can't wait.
HUGE KUDOS to Charlie for getting a whopping 21 out of 24 correct! You are the chief prognosticator!
My Oscar night - B
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Old Country Buffet - D- (points 'cause old people like it)
Saturday, March 04, 2006
This movie didn't make a huge impression on me. It was solid, entertaining, the acting was good, the music was fun (and yes, I'm impressed that Joaq and Reese did their own singing), and overall it was fine. But I didn't LOVE it. Like I said, it probably has something to do with seeing Ray this time last year (and I didn't love Ray, either, FYI). Walk the Line was fine, but it didn't invoke any feelings of passion in me. I'll take a solid stance on two things: 1, the red dress Reese wears during the tractor scene is breathtaking - I love the sheer sleeve thing; 2, I hate when movies wrap up at the end with the words on the screen. We all know that June and Johnny stayed married, raised kids etc., and died a couple years ago within a few months of each other. It happened RECENTLY. We REMEMBER it. The movie did not need to shove it down our throats with the words on the screen! Ray did that, too, and I just hate it. Totally unnecessary.
As far as Reese winning the Oscar... yes, she will. I don't quite understand it, but she will. She was good, for sure, but I think she'll be winning the award because she's playing against her type, not because it was the best lead female performance of the year. Elle Woods was pushed aside and the Academy wants to honor that, that's my theory. I still think Felicity should win, though.
Walk the Line - a nice, solid B
Friday, March 03, 2006
BEST PICTURE - Brokeback Mountain
BEST DIRECTOR - Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
BEST ACTOR - Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
BEST ACTRESS - Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
who I really want to win - Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - George Clooney, Syriana
who I really want to win - Matt Dillon, Crash
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
who I really want to win - Amy Adams, Junebug
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - Brokeback Mountain
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Crash
who I really want to win - The Squid and the Whale
BEST ART DIRECTION - Memoirs of a Geisha
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY - Brokeback Mountain
BEST FILM EDITING - Crash
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE - Memoirs of a Geisha
BEST ORIGINAL SONG - "In the Deep," Crash
who I would be thrilled to see win - "Travelin' Thru," Transamerica
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS - King Kong
BEST SOUND EDITING - King Kong
BEST SOUND MIXING - King Kong
BEST COSTUME DESIGN - Memoirs of a Geisha
BEST MAKEUP - The Chronicles of Narnia
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM - Paradise Now
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE - Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
BEST ANIMATED SHORT - One Man Band
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE - March of the Penguins
who I really want to win - Murderball
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT - God Sleeps in Rwanda (I picked this before I saw that Charlie picked it, too)
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT - Ausreisser
Thursday, March 02, 2006
I'm a little sad that next week is the last week. I will NOT be watching Top Chef. Doesn't America's Next Top Model start again next Wednesay?
Project Runway - A-
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
mmmkay, so basically i went into work today. no big deal. it's a friday, everyone and their mother wants to rent a bagillion movies (horror films especially) and it is my job to see to it that they get exactly what they want when they want it. no, more than that. i am supposed to exceed the expectations of my customers with my stellar customer service skills. i fucking love blockbuster! i get paid for pretending like i give a shit, even if i don't. seriously, this is the best jof my life. so i am busy at the counter with this 50 something fat WASPy man serving him popcorn and unlocking the case to his "barenaked brooke" dvd, when he says, "ya know.....you're pretty good at this!" why, thank you. i know. and i'm new. and i rock. and for the first time in my life i am not serving people food (okay, popcorn is food, but not really)....then this mohawked fat ass comes up to me and says "....uhh....do you know what's going on out there?" i look out the window and there are 5 cop cars blocking the entrance and exit to blockbuster.....my blockbuster....i am thinking what the fuck???? i thought my last job was the buisness with the meth lab in the basement,,,, not this one!!!!!!!! then i see these two hoodlums who have locked themselves in a car with minnesota plates...right in front of our glass window/wall. great. the police get on the loud speaker and order these assholes out of the car. then the guns come out. on both sides. there is a complete stand off in the parking lot, and all i am doing is racking my brain to try and remember what the blockbuster introductory video said to do when there are hoodlumd with guns in my parking lot. the answer of course was to keep serving free popcorn. so that is exactly what i did. i was ringing someone up for the videos Saw II, Legend of Zorro, and Elizabethtown when the phone rings. The conversation goes a little something like this:
"Thank you for calling Cherryland Blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want. this is zara, can you hold?"---"No, i can't maam. this is 911". "oh, shit! hey, whats up?"--" The police presence outside your building have requested that everyone step away from the windows, and if need be, take shelter."--"oh, thank you very much." CLICK
so, apparently, in 5 minutes, my job has gone from asking people if the want any double bubble cotton candy that turns to chewing gum, to, hearding michiganders into the unwindowed portion of the store so they don't get shot. hoo-fucking-ray! of course i tell everyone to get back from the windows, but these people are fucking retarted. i swear to god. apparently, it more important to press your face up to the glass and look into the car of suspects with firearms, than it is to avoid getting shot!!! oy. michigan breeds some good ones. so blady blady blah. at this point, no one is alllowed to leave the building for obvious reasons. this girl comes up to me and she was like, do you have a copy of waiting?? no, we're all out. and then she goes to walk out the door. i'm like, "umm, maam, you can't leave just yet. have you noticed what's going on outside??" "yeah, but i left my lights on, and my battery is gonna die. "it really isn't safe to leave right now maam." " you are gonna make me late for my date! what am i gonna do, stay in blockbuster all night? i don't think." she then proceeds to walk out of the building directly in the line of fire from the cops and the hoodlums. a small part of me wishes that she would have gotten shot. not died or anything, but maybe shot in the finger or something. like JD in heathers. oy. well that was my day. no shots were fired. the badguys took their precious time and then surrendered. the cops stuck around for another hour or two. and for the rest of the night i had to answer calls from a bunch of newsreporters and the like. my favorite call of the night was this guy that called like three hours after the fact.
"thank you for calling cherryland blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want, this is zara, how can i help you?" --"hey, uhhh, like, what happened earlier? my friend called and told me that some shit went down."--"well, there was a stand off in our parking lot. lots of police presence, it looked like two suspects. There were guns involved but no shots were fired. Everything is fine. the suspects have been taken into custody, and the police have already cleared out."--"oh, cause, like, my friend called and told me that, but he is just the kinda guy that would call and say something like that, ya know? like, he is always say weird shit like that, so i didn't really believe. but, uhh, wow. so what else happened?"--"well, that was about it. we had to stay indoors away from the windows and stuff, but everything went well. thank you for your concern though."--"yeah alright cause i was like, no, this isn't for real"--"nope, it really was for real. all over now though, are there any movies i can help you find?"--"oh, uh, no, i just wanted to call and see if my friend was lying or not"--"alright sir, well thank you for calling blockbuster and have a nice day." CLICK
so everyone, how was your day?Zara's Blockbuster adventure - A+