There is NO WAY these guys are actually having a "security summit" in Cancun. This is North American Leader Spring Break. Stephen Harper is doing body shots off of Vicente Fox, and Bush is in the corner with a margarita bigger than his head, yelling "Show us your tits!"
Nate bought a printer/scanner/copier yesterday, and it lives under my computer. This is kind of exciting. Before this, I had to save all of my documents to disk, take the disk into the playroom (Nate's weapons, music stuff and the video game set-up), and print from that computer. It's kind of a pain. Now, with a printer hooked up to my computer, I can print any damn thing I want, any time.
Aerosmith has cancelled the remaining dates of their tour because Steven Tyler has to have throat surgery. Is anyone surprised? He's been abusing his voice for years. I think he's pretty sweet, and I hope he comes through OK, but damn, maybe he should have thought of this before! I think it was that ridiculous note in "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" that put him over the edge. That's all I'm saying.
During one of my classes today, this guy sitting near me was breathing so loud I couldn't hear the professor speaking. It was unreal. He was breathing through his nose, but it was outrageously loud. Imagine if you will medium-loud snoring, the kind you typically hear at night from someone who has a cold. Now transfer this into your waking hours, sitting two feet away from someone "snoring." It was terrible. Maybe the guy has sinusitis, or maybe he's just a ridiculously loud breather. Either way, I hope he doesn't sit near me nest week.
Katie Holmes is going to have a SILENT BIRTH!? Is this even possible? I fully acknowledge that a stress-free, quiet, relaxed birthing environment would be better for both mother and baby, but come on! I would groan pushing an actual watermelon through an actual straw, to say nothing of doing that euphemistically near my pink parts. I can't even comprehend not groaning a little while giving birth. Nuh-unh. Not possible.
Sometimes I think we go through life with blinders on, impervious to cuteness. I aim to stamp out that problem, one kitten at a time, starting with this wittle guy. Just wook at 'im! Ee's toe CUTE! YES HE IS! YES HE IS! 
In a wild series of incidents that started with a loose tailgate and ended with a grass fire Wednesday night, two Seguin police cars were destroyed, at least two cows were killed, three suspected undocumented immigrants were jailed and Interstate 10 was closed. Pay attention. This is complicated.
The men, believed to be undocumented immigrants, were brought to the Guadalupe County jail. Their names and charges against them were not available Thursday afternoon.
The Lord of the Rings musical is playing in Toronto right now, and it's not doing so well. The New York Times called it "a murky, labyrinthine wood from which no one emerges with head unmuddled, eyes unblurred or eardrums unrattled," while a Toronto critic simply said "bored of the Rings." 
I'm getting a raise! I'm so excited!
why MY brother is better than YOUR brother!
In just over a month, I will be participating in my brother's wedding. I am super excited, because my brother rocks the free world and his fiancee is even cooler, but a little added excitement comes from the fact that this will be the forty-first wedding I've attended. That's a lot of weddings, my friends! I can't believe that I'm crossing the 40 wedding mark, and I know I'll be attending at least two more weddings before the year is over. What can I say? I love weddings... and I think I only have two or three divorces in that group. I might be lucky!
Dentists recommend that you change your toothbrush every three months. It's important, you guys! Nasty stuff will start to grow in your toothbrush after a while, so throw it out periodically and get a new one. Why don't you start today with a new one, and then change it as the season changes? Maybe you'll remember that way! I changed my toothbrush today, and I feel like I did something good for myself.
My friends Aaron and Macy say that everyone has a special box, and you can tell a lot about a person by what's in their box (please, no genitalia jokes, please). Macy has the program from my senior recital in her box, which is amazing to me. I can't believe my program made it into someone's special box!
Jared Leto is FAT! OK, I know he's in a movie playing chubby assassin Mark David Chapman, but he looks so gross and skanky in this picture, and those sunglasses don't help matters. 
My new favorite I-Live-in-a-College-Town experience: while I was driving through U of M's main campus (to get the cashiers' office and get my psych experiment money), I saw four guys at an outside ATM, all completely ridicu-fied for St. Patrick's Day. One guy was draped in an Irish flag, and at least one of the others was wearing a Guinness t-shirt. What time did I witness this amazing display? 10 AM. I bet that these guys started drinking at midnight, if not before, ran out of cash, and had to hit up the ATM to get more money for more green beer. Good for them, I say. I endorse drinking in the daytime. It makes it seem more illicit, and that's fun!
1. There's this blog I read a few times a week - Tiny Slice of Life.
I'll feel bad if they break up. I NEVER should have called him Mr. Reese Witherspoon.
What do camels, bazookas, and tanks have to do with customer service? I don't know, but I like it.
From You Give Love A Bad Name, by Bon Jovi -
From Gawker.com -
did not pay for her ticket. However, Hilton's spokesperson insists the party girl intends to make a donation, saying, "Paris did instruct her accountant to cut a check for $10,000. They should get their money."
I was noticing how often I hear this song on the radio - at least once a day on my favorite '80s-'90s-today radio station - so I decided to write about it. During my Google search for a fun image, I discovered - just today - that Stevie says "Just like the white-winged dove." Until about two years ago, I thought she said "Just like the ones we love sing the song sounds like they're singing," which I guess doesn't make that much sense. When I finally deciphered the word "dove" instead of "love," I really, truly thought she said "Just like the one-winged dove." Now, a one-winged dove is really, really sad, right? It's a symbol of peace gone bad? And why wouldn't a one-winged dove sing whoo, whoo, whoo? I'm a mess.
There are some things in this world that are cheesy: those fake roses you can get at gas stations, a puppy in a basket for Christmas, Build A Bears, "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. But there are two things that transcend cheese, and cross over to schmaltz - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Josh Groban. When taken independently, these two things are cheesy but totally cool. I watch EMHE when I can, and I went to a Josh Groban concert and own one of his CDs. I'm not knocking them, really. BUT, in combination, we just might exceed the level of cheese acceptable in one sitting. Think about it - EMHE makes me cry anyway, but hearing "You Raise Me Up" during the show? Pass the tissues. Well, I have it on good authority that we'll be hearing a little Josh Groban on this week's episode of EMHE. 
This is Peter, husband of my good pal Kris, and an accomplished violinist. Peter and his playing partner Kyle play at really important functions all over the state of Oklahoma - they're quite good. Pete and Kyle will be playing the Josh Groban song "You Raise Me Up" on EMHE this week! This is very exciting. Kris says there's no guarantee that we'll get to hear Pete and Kyle for sure, but they did record the song for the show, so we all have our fingers crossed. Please watch EMHE tomorrow night - it's a two-hour episode, so lay in some provisions, but it's super exciting that my buddy is playing on national television. Way to go, Pete!
Most people will disagree with me, but I LOVE kids on leashes! I think it's adorable! You're giving your kids a little freedom and independence - just look at how proud this little tyke is, strutting away in front of his dad - but you're also keeping an eye on them and not letting them get too far away. I think if people put their kids on leashes in public a little more often, we'd have less child-snatching. My favorite type of leash is the springy telephone cord-type leash - I think they're really, really cute.
UPDATE: It was fun... kind of! It's an experiment to see if theatrical training improves cognitive functions like memory. I had to listen to and repeat two stories, listen to and repeat and two "grocery lists" (with items like drill, wrench, and pliers) and see figures on a computer screen and then draw them. All of that was fun, but when I got to the part where I had to solve math problems and then say a word, then remember the words in order, I got kind of frustrated because I didn't do so great on that part. My brain hurt.
Another season of Project Runway has come and gone. I'm sad it's over, I really am. I know that some of you non-watchers out there will be glad to finally stop getting Thursday morning updates, but I think there's going to be a little hole in my blog now. I'll try to give you regular PR updates, for old times' sake.
I have really bad time management skills. I never have time to practice my flute or give my baby a bath... just like in this clock!
Jada looks like a man in drag, for real. It's partly the strong jawline and partly the arm definition, but the kicker is the false eyelashes. WAY too overpowering for such a tiny person.
Naomi Watts in Givenchy... or is it Santino Rice? This looks just like the long nude version of his skating costume!
Look away from the scary hair and non-coordinating shoes! LOOK AWAY!
I am pretty sure I have plantar fasciitis. My heel hurt so much this morning that I just walked around on my toes. Maybe it's because I'm fat, or maybe it's because I'm trying to be less fat and increased my activity level last week, but my heel certainly does not feel awesome. I hope I don't have to get one of those sleep boots. They are decidedly unsexy. Does anyone know any home remedies for plantar fasciitis?
Hanging out with old people, part two:
My favorite Oscar moment: when the Wallace and Gromit guys put the little bow ties on their Oscars... so cute!
OK, I do not like Old Country Buffet. I ate there today because I was doing this community service project with some old people and that's where the powers that be decided we should eat. First of all, I don't like big buffets. The sight of all that food turns me off. Second, the food all seems pretty unhealthy - lots of starch, lots of fried, and lots of dessert. Third, because I don't eat a lot while I'm there, my buffet ends up being really pricey. I ate a $10 baked potato and bowl of frozen yogurt. No more OCB. 
Poor Walk the Line. In any other year, it would have been a tremendous movie, but coming the year after Ray, it all seemed stale. This is not either movie's fault, just bad timing. I kept thinking "Seen it. Seen that, too. Seen that WAY too may times." Bad luck, WTL.
It has been really difficult for me to make my final Oscar picks this year. I'm torn in a lot of the categories. I think I should go with my heart in some of these categories, but if I do that, then I certainly won't win my Oscar pool. So here goes:
Only week until the PR finale! Who do you think is going to win? Based on what I've seen of the collections so far... I still don't know. My heart says Santino - his stuff is really, really gorgeous. Plus, between this week and last week's shows, he has completely grown on me. Maybe his arrogance was all a cover for insecurity, but I'm back liking him. But only a little. LA dwellers, how much do you think he pays in rent for that house? It looked big - and pricey - and how can someone who sold his shop afford that much house? At any rate... Chloe doesn't impress me right now. I did NOT like the big pink coat, and while the navy blue dress with the cut-out back was lovely, I have never liked Grace, her model, and I think that putting her in that dress as the show-stopping final piece of the collection is a mistake. I'm super worried for Daniel. I would love to see him win, but I think Tim Gunn's lack of enthusiasm is a bad sign. Yes, it's pretty stuff, and yes, women would actually wear it,
but it's possible that the collection didn't make a big splash at Fashion Week. I love that the non-finalist designers were brought back to assist the finalists! They're certainly going to need the help. Daniel needs buttons on everything, and Chloe and Santino looked like they had gone into mind meltdown. With that said, what the hell was Chloe thinking choosing Diana as her assistant? Why didn't she choose Kara? I think that plan will backfire bad.
What follows is an exact copy of my friend Zara's blog from a day or two ago. I have changed no words or grammar. Read it all - you won't be sorry."Thank you for calling Cherryland Blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want. this is zara, can you hold?"---"No, i can't maam. this is 911". "oh, shit! hey, whats up?"--" The police presence outside your building have requested that everyone step away from the windows, and if need be, take shelter."--"oh, thank you very much." CLICK
so, apparently, in 5 minutes, my job has gone from asking people if the want any double bubble cotton candy that turns to chewing gum, to, hearding michiganders into the unwindowed portion of the store so they don't get shot. hoo-fucking-ray! of course i tell everyone to get back from the windows, but these people are fucking retarted. i swear to god. apparently, it more important to press your face up to the glass and look into the car of suspects with firearms, than it is to avoid getting shot!!! oy. michigan breeds some good ones. so blady blady blah. at this point, no one is alllowed to leave the building for obvious reasons. this girl comes up to me and she was like, do you have a copy of waiting?? no, we're all out. and then she goes to walk out the door. i'm like, "umm, maam, you can't leave just yet. have you noticed what's going on outside??" "yeah, but i left my lights on, and my battery is gonna die. "it really isn't safe to leave right now maam." " you are gonna make me late for my date! what am i gonna do, stay in blockbuster all night? i don't think." she then proceeds to walk out of the building directly in the line of fire from the cops and the hoodlums. a small part of me wishes that she would have gotten shot. not died or anything, but maybe shot in the finger or something. like JD in heathers. oy. well that was my day. no shots were fired. the badguys took their precious time and then surrendered. the cops stuck around for another hour or two. and for the rest of the night i had to answer calls from a bunch of newsreporters and the like. my favorite call of the night was this guy that called like three hours after the fact.
once again:
"thank you for calling cherryland blockbuster where we have more copies of the movies you want, this is zara, how can i help you?" --"hey, uhhh, like, what happened earlier? my friend called and told me that some shit went down."--"well, there was a stand off in our parking lot. lots of police presence, it looked like two suspects. There were guns involved but no shots were fired. Everything is fine. the suspects have been taken into custody, and the police have already cleared out."--"oh, cause, like, my friend called and told me that, but he is just the kinda guy that would call and say something like that, ya know? like, he is always say weird shit like that, so i didn't really believe. but, uhh, wow. so what else happened?"--"well, that was about it. we had to stay indoors away from the windows and stuff, but everything went well. thank you for your concern though."--"yeah alright cause i was like, no, this isn't for real"--"nope, it really was for real. all over now though, are there any movies i can help you find?"--"oh, uh, no, i just wanted to call and see if my friend was lying or not"--"alright sir, well thank you for calling blockbuster and have a nice day." CLICK
so everyone, how was your day?
Zara's Blockbuster adventure - A+
