Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Oh No, No, No

Please, say it ain't so.

Britney's 'Charity' Act?
Despite reports that their year-old marriage has hit a rough patch, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline looked very much together as they descended on New York late last week, but was their trip to the Big Apple more business than pleasure?
Although the London Mirror says the déclassé duo hit the town to shop their problems away (aka "retail-relationship therapy"), the Insider claims the semi-retired pop tartlet-turned-fashion-challenged mom of Sean Preston is in the midst of "serious negotiations" to take over the starring role in the Broadway production of "Sweet Charity."
If the thought of Britney warbling live eight times a week gives you a nervous twitch, consider this: Former backup hoofer-turned-underemployed wanna-be rapper Kevin could join her onstage.
"He'd be a dancer in the show," a mole tells the Insider. "The producers really want Britney and will do anything to make this happen."
Christina Applegate is currently starring as the titular lovelorn dancer in the revival, which the Federlines took in on Thursday (for their big night out, Spears wore a sparkly jacket stolen off the set of "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," while Federline sported snake-like cornrows that would have even Bo Derek rolling with laughter).
Britney's camp isn't commenting on the board-treading talk, but we'd be surprised if the new mom decides to make her debut on the Great White Way so soon after the arrival of her still under-wraps bundle of joy.
After all, it was just one year ago this week that the Britster gushed on her Web site, "To be a really good mom, I feel your child needs to be your full-time job. I want to raise my kids and share all of those precious moments with them and not rely on nannies."
Still, perhaps Mrs. Federline feels a connection to the production, filled as it is with ditties that some might say (hey, don't look at us) echo her own relationship, from "Big Spender" to "There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This" to "I Love to Cry at Weddings."

This is bad, folks. Very, very bad.

Britney on Broadway - F

16 comments:

Erika said...

Yeah, I saw this too. My love for Britney is definately waning lately. And K-Fed dancing...oooh no.

casey said...

As bad as it might be, I'd still pay money to still and watch Broadway go down the toilet! :)

paultoes said...

whoa... i seriously forgot i was reading your blog, and honestly thought i was reading some EW editorial. amazing... you transported me.
you've obviously been studying.

"shbsike"

amandarama said...

Thanks, Paul - I didn't write that.

Dustin J. Harder said...

ALRIGHT! I'm not this like huge Britney fan but...I think she would be good. I have heard NOTHING but TERRIBLE things about Christina Applegate in this role, not to mention the proof of it on the Tony's. I think Christina is awesome but probably shouldnt have ventured into this. As for Britney Miss Strong, she went to Broadway post Disney-so she's already been and recieved great reviews. Kevin dancing in it is definatly an F. But Britney taking over the role I would give a B.

PNSexplosion said...

why you gotta be a hate-ah!? Give the girl a chance! I think she'll be fantastic! And K-Fed will have a job, which is a step in the right direction. Criticizing her for wanting to work and be a mom is boge. My feathers are ruffled by this post.

amandarama said...

Oh Sir Dillian, you misunderstand me. Work and be a mom, that's great. Millions of women do it all the time. I just don't think that Britney can handle Sweet Charity. No way, no how, and theater will suffer because of it.

Dustin J. Harder said...

Amanda...I think you are wrong wrong wrong with this post.

PNSexplosion said...

If broadway can survive Speed-The-Plow starring Madonna, I think it'll survive this.

Chargenda said...

Oh, man, Amanda, you are pissing some people off! If only we got this heated about important stuff like politics.

amandarama said...

Silly Charlie - politics aren't important!

casey said...

Ahh, they have a point Amanda. Brit did "Ruthless" when she was a wee little girl. And she was good. Hey, maybe she'll learn to sing CORRECTLY again? And sahe can dance, which is a plus. It's better than Rosie O'Donnel doing it! But, I still think that there are hundreds of starving girls that would love the part and the break!

Dustin J. Harder said...

politics are boring and people get REALLY angry about them-some of you may find that fascinating. BUt I have a bad temper streak so I try to stay away from the politics.

NicelyKing said...

i cant stand her, but i have to tell you... she might actually be decent (christina ended up being great but a little weak vocally.) the music is low enough for her to sing nearly effortlessly. she'd NAIL the dances, & the character is just this little naive girl. i cant tell you that i wouldnt see it. guilty pleasure!

Natalie said...

First of all... if they are still doing the Fosse choreography, good luck Kevin. Britney could probably handle it, but when I imagine her doing it, it hurts my heart.

Second of all, just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD. Sure a model CAN talk and wear a costume, and probably even remember several lines of dialogue in a row, but does that mean she SHOULD be an actress? NO SIR!!! I am a firm believer that people should not be allowed to cross over with nothing but their fame to give them credibility. Sell tickets with a name brand star, and the price you pay is the magic of musical theater... Hello Vanessa Williams as the Witch in "Into the Woods"-- it doesn't work and it makes the art form look bad.

I am with Amanda on this one... sorry, guys.

Of course, my theories also apply to Christina Applegate having the part...

amanda's brother said...

Anybody else have the nagging feeling that Brittany Spears always smells like feta?