Monday, September 24, 2007

Game Day, Part One

Dear college-age football fans,

I appreciate how fired up you get about yet another home game. I also appreciate the joy of condoned daytime drinking (my readers might know that I'm a BIG fan of drinkin' in the daytime - it feels so naughty) and hanging out on your porch or your yard, sipping keg beer out of a red Solo cup - this is the stuff memories are made of, and I'm not being snarky. You go on with your bad self.

But please, under no circumstances is it OK to throw a football from one yard ACROSS A BUSY STREET to another yard WHILE I AM DRIVING ON SAID BUSY STREET. You looked like jackasses. I was actually hoping that the football would fall out of the sky and hit my car, giving me just cause for pulling over and tearing you a new one. And no one was behind me - couldn't you have waited an extra five seconds? No, because that would have cut into your beer pong time.

To you, football thrower guy, I give a C-.

love, Helga

1 comment:

Andy said...

I miss those days...although I surely would have hit the car, broken the window, and been held responsible.

And, believe it or not, references to beer pong make me feel old. There was no beer pong when I was in school...and I graduated in 1997. Maybe it was just getting started, but I didn't hear about it until years later.

I'm old...