A Story About Soda

When I was a younger person, I drank a lot of Coke. When I became a slightly older person, I drank waaaaay too much Coke. Let me put it to you this way: at my prime, I was probably drinking up to 100 oz. of Coke a day (that's five 20-oz. bottles, for those who want to understand how such a thing is even possible). And sure, I was living a more "active lifestyle," but you can interpret that as dancing at frat parties. I drank a lot of Coke, OK? But not a lot of coffee. I only drank coffee at the truck stop, late at night (not a lot to do in my college town after 11 PM), with tons of cream and sugar. Mostly, thought, it was Coke.

One night, I went to hear my friend's band play, at a coffee shop, and I drank about six cups of coffee LOADED with cream and sugar. I know the sugar was bad, but I still believe the real culprit was the coffee, and its caffeine that I didn't know how to process because I only dealt with Coke caffeine. Long story short, I woke up at 2 in the morning convinced I was having a heart attack. My heart was RACING. It was super scary.

Well, this fateful day was right before Ash Wednesday, so I decided to give up Coke for Lent. Presbyterians don't necessarily give things up for Lent, but this seemed like a reasonable length of time that I could go without Coke.
Let me tell you what - I was MEAN as a snake for the first four days. Horrible headache, short temper, full of angst and woe. For four days... maybe a week. But after that, I was pure as the driven show. I didn't drink a Coke for all of Lent - 46 days if you count it the way I did. And by the end, I had lost not only 15 pounds, but the desire to drink Coke. Sure, I fell off the wagon a couple times (my year at Bennigan's was especially bad - they had those little cone cups in a dispenser so I could just get a shot of Coke), but the last time I actually drank a full cup of Coke was about five years ago, at a bar, because I didn't feel like drinking booze.  And it was bar gun Coke.  Which is WORSE.  It had some other soda remnants mixed in, and it was nasty.  Never again.  But sometimes, I just want an em-eff soft drink.  Which is where root beer comes in.  Oh, do I love root beer.  It is so delicious.

I think this is usually the point in the story where I talk about the dentist.  (full disclosure: I started writing this post about three years ago)  I didn't go to the dentist for seven years: the whole time I was in college, drinking all that Coke, plus one year after that when I still didn't have health insurance, plus one year when I DID have dental insurance but didn't have my act together enough to find a dentist.  When I finally went to the dentist, I had SEVEN CAVITIES.  That's one for every year I didn't go to the dentist.

The moral of the story here is watch your sugary soda intake.  And drink more coffee!

delicious icy cold Coke products - A
too many icy cold Coke products - D

My Performing Arts Fix

When I was a kid, there were four ways to see singing and dancing on TV: the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Miss America, the Tony awards, and the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. And of the four, the telethon was my favorite (yes, more than Miss America, believe it or not, I was only rooting for Texas). It marked the end of summer, and while I loved summer vacation, I always looked forward to going back to school. It aired overnight, which meant that I got to stay up late (but not as late as my brother - I'm pretty sure he watched THE WHOLE TELETHON at least once). And the musical performances were so varied - I mean, Charo was on the telethon! And ventriloquists and plate spinners and singers and baton twirlers! I loved it. Really and truly loved it.
I remember the first time I gave money to MDA. I don't think I saved up my allowance - more likely, I asked my mom if I could give the money and she just took care of it. But I was five or six, and I called in, and somehow they misunderstood my name and I was announced on the air as Armando. I think I was pretty upset at the time.

Now, with American Idol and Glee and Dancing with the Stars and America's Got Talent and So You Think You Can Dance... I can't even tell you the last time I watch the telethon. Plus, didn't it used to be on every station at once? Now it's on some crap cable channel. Sorry, Jerry.

The Jerry Lewis MDA telethon, mid-80s - B+
the telethon now - C-

Wow.

Remember when my blog was awesome? I'm doing some redecorating in my apartment, and I thought there was a digital version of a picture I wanted somewhere on my blog (there is, in this post), so I had to go back and look. And sure enough, my blog used to be awesome. AWESOME. But I can't tell you the last time by blog was awesome - 2008, maybe? And every time I try to turn over a new leaf (another new leaf), I blow it.
And let's not pretend that asking you, my faithful readers, for suggestions helps. Because it doesn't. I've already tried that.

So hang in there. One day, I'll become inspired again, and perhaps reestablish a little bit of awesome.

The good ol' days - A
by blog's current incarnation - D