Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I'm In Love, or Too Much Information

I have a secret - I have a penchant for African-American men. Well, African-American celebrities. My first celebrity crush was Denzel Washington on St. Elsewhere; a few years later, I fell for Blair Underwood on LA Law. In November, I fell head over heels in love with Jesse L. Martin - he has the most beautiful smile. Now I have a new favorite - Robin Szolkowy, the Olympic pairs figure skater from Germany. Why him, do you ask? Because of his ass. Robin has the most luscious ass I've ever seen. True, those figure skating costumes totally accentuate how wonderful it is, but he really does have a luscious melon ass. Look at those cheeks! They're like pillows made of muscle! I just want to squeeze them. Robin, if you ever need your butt squeezed (by someone who does NOT look like Christina Aguilera - what's up with that?), just give me a call and I can fill your butt-squeezing needs.

Robin's beautiful ass - A+

17 comments:

  1. How do I break this to you? Okay, here it goes. Male figure skaters are GAY!

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  2. she really does think he has a "luscious mellon ass" ladies and gents-she said it right on front of me and i then turned it on her and said she has luscious mellon lady lumps, you see how that works? The dude does have a bangin' ass though...

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  3. And another thing that's terrible new for you: 'Robin Szolkowy, the Olympic pairs figure skater from Germany'? Not a celebrity. Figure skaters are never celebrities, even when they get their legs broken with a big stick or appear on south park.

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  4. I bet he's a celebrity in Germany.

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  5. Anonymous11:57 AM

    I'd tap that.

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  6. Anonymous5:23 PM

    Ooh, I just saw The Lion King last night, and I'll totally second that bit about crushes on hot African-American men. Older Simba? Very, very fit. Any chance a bunch of men in musical theater are straight?

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  7. I was totally just like "she wants an animated older lion???"

    I need to get out more.

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  8. Anonymous1:56 PM

    That chick DID look like Christina Aguilera, only with freaky eyebrows. How do you say "Drrrrty" in German?

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  9. Anonymous1:39 PM

    Timmy, I just about swallowed my gum I laughed so hard at your response...

    ReplyDelete
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