All I Want For Christmas Is...

This. The "Carry On" carry-on. Available from bravotv.com. I have to have it. Have. To. Have. It. It's a Tim Gunn-inspired tote bag emblazoned with his signature phrase. Oh, how I long for it!

the "Carry On" carry-on - A+

I'm About To Swear

So brace yourselves.







Fuck you, AOL. Do not show this picture with the headline "Murder Most Desperate" and the blurb "Housewives one fewer." NOT okay. I know what you wanted me to think. You suck.

AOL - F

Way To Go, Other Team!

Awright! Neil Patrick "Doogie Hoswer" Harris came out! Do you think maybe he's dating TR Knight?

Just so everyone knows, I truly love gay men. In case you couldn't tell. I probably was a gay man in another life.

Neil Patrick Harris - A - why not?

Jealous?

You know how, at the Academy Awards, there's always someone who wins who gets up on stage and says "Wow, this is heavy?" Wel, they're right. Oscars are heavy. I know.

I JUST HELD AN OSCAR. A real one, not one of those fakes you can buy on Hollywood Blvd.

Why exactly my theater had an Oscar today, I don't know. But we did. And it was in my office for a few minutes.

And now I can check one more thing off my "must do" list. Because I got to hold a real live Oscar, bitches!

my rendezvous with Oscar - A+

But Is It Aesthetically Pleasing?

Nina Garcia's having a baby! Yay for her. I can only imagine that all the past Project Runway designers will send her some fabulous maternity wear. I can also predict that maternity wear will be a season 4 challenge - they'll just pop those models in fake pregnancy bellies. And maybe they'll have to make a little matching outfit for a baby. Oooh, it's going to be so cute!

Nina's bebe - A
Nina maybe becoming a little softer and less mean now that she's going to be a mommy - B- (PR needs her snarkiness)

Happy Halloween.

Just so everyone knows, candy pumpkins are not an acceptable lunch. Even though that's what I had for lunch today, you shouldn't just have candy pumpkins for lunch. I don't know if I'd say that they're better than nothing.

But they sure are delicious.

candy pumpkins - tastiness: A, nutritional value: D-

The Psychic Is In

Back in March, I posted this. Beat that, Miss Cleo!

Reese and Ryan have "officially separated," which is kind of sad. I mean, for a girl from a small town in Tennessee with such luscious breasts (was Mama nursing?) to give up such a handsome movie star must have been heart-wrenching. Or wait... could it be that her star was rising and his was falling, and she just didn't need his bullshit anymore, because she's going STRAIGHT TO THE TOP!? Who can say?

Best of luck to you both.

stars going Splitsville - B
getting the newsbreak from my friend in Philly - A

The Prestige

One of the pitfalls of working at a movie theater is, when you have free time to see movies, the last thing you want to do is go back to the theater. Also, it's hard to reconcile myself to paying for movies, when I have free (and really good) ones at my disposal every day. So I have to be really excited about a movie to spend my day off at the theater, and even more excited to actually pay to watch a movie.

Which brings me to The Prestige. I saw a trailer for this movie several weeks ago and thought, Yep, that's one to pay for. I definitely wasn't disappointed.

To tell you much about The Prestige would give everything away, because the whole plot of the movie is secrets. Let's just say that it's a movie about magic, about friends who become rivals and then mortal enemies, and how their lives intertwine. It's a movie with lots of twists - at point, I thought to myself "I totally saw that coming," but the last five - or even three - minutes completely blew me away. I'm still thinking about it. It's definitely a repeat watcher. Not an Oscar contender, but highly entertaining and though-provoking.

As an added bonus, the mulitplex LOWERED THEIR PRICES. Nate and I got in for fifteen bucks. The last time we paid for a movie, it was $18.50. Thanks, Goodrich!

The Prestige - B+

Yep, He's Gay

I'm sort of let down. Not because TR Knight is gay - I didn't want to do him, and I'm all for celebrity gayness - but by all you fabulous gay bloggers who I read so religiously. How did you let this one slip by? I thought for sure that at least one of you would have made some comment on TR's gayness. Do you not care about TR? Was Isaiah Washington's outburst on the set of Grey's Anatomy of no importance to you?

Furthermore, how did I not know until I read it in Entertainment Weekly? That's crazy. EW is usually a little behind on celebrity gossip, meltdowns, fights, that sort of thing, so for me to hear the news first from them is really surprising. Way to break the story, EW.

TR Knight, being gay - A-
you guys not writing about it - B-
Entertainment Weekly telling me something I didn't already know - A-

Ew! Ew!

I just found out that Katie Lee Joel, host of Top Chef season one, is Billy Joel's WIFE. I really, really thought she was his daughter.

Gross.

And don't think you can host a food show just because you "grew up in your grandma's Southern kitchen."

Katie Lee Joel - D+

Indigo Girls

I love Indigo Girls. Love love love them. I own many of their albums (I used to own more... why have they vanished? I'm going to need to replace them), and I've seen them in concert three or four times. I even drove to Atlanta one weekend to see them perform with the Atlanta Ballet, which was probably one of the best experiences of my life. And they always put on a good show.

(by the way, I spelled "show" "hose". What's my problem?)

On Friday night, the Girls came to MY THEATER. I have a very important job - basically, I take care of the people who take care of the artists: stagehands, promoter reps, tour managers, security guys, box office girls, and patrons coming to see the show. I'm the first line of defense for live events. And my all time #2 favorite band came to my theater. It was so awesome. Indigo Girls played a hell of a show, as usual, and there were so many happy lesbians with super-short haircuts and denim button-down shirts. I like happy lesbians. And since I gave the tour manager a bucket of popcorn, he gave me a t-shirt.

So awesome.

By the way, I encourage you to check out the Girls' new album Despite Our Differences. It's really good.

Indigo Girls - A
Indigo Girls at my theater - A+

Project Runway Season Finale

Well. After a long season full of ups, downs, crazy hats and tiny dogs, Jeffrey was crowned Project Runway king... and he deserved it. His final collection was stunning. Cohesive, cute, not quite everyday but not as over-the-top as Laura's. And I believe that he made those clothes himself. I thought long and hard about it, and it seems to me like what he said in season finale part 1 is true - it's Bryant Park. It could launch his entire career. Why half-ass it? The designers had two months - TWO MOTNHS! That's not much time at all. So that had to make every day count. I was really surprised when Michael had hardly anything done when Tim came to his house a month before Fashion Week. Good for Jeffrey and his time management skills to get all those buttons sewn on before he got to New York. Now, did he have an advantage? Absolutely - did you see his work space? Little Michael was working on two tiny sewing machines, and Jeff had those big beautiful industrial ones. He probably had twelve or thriteen dress forms and could leave things up as he worked on them - and little Michael only had one, and had to keep taking his pieces off and on. So yes, Jeff had an advantage, but I don't think he had someone else sew his clothes.
To Uli, Laura and Michael - your day will come. Someone's going to buy your clothes. I promise.

I'm so sad for Nazri. Marilinda is cute, and she has a hell of a walk, but Nazri is FIERCE. Shewould have been fierce in that insane Jublilee Jumbles outfit of Angela's. Nazri, you don't need me to be pulling for you, because you're going to be HUGE.

Project Runway - A+

A History Lesson:

Here are those original seven wonders of the ancient world:

The Great Pyramid of Giza, 2560 BC
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon, 580 BC?
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia, 450 BC
The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, 550 BC
The Mausloeum at Halicarnassus, 350 BC
The Colossus of Rhodes (my personal favorite), 282 BC
The Lighthouse of Alexandria, 290 BC

And there you have it.

Check back in July 2007, when I'll tell you the official winners of the New 7 Wonders contest!

New 7 Wonders

Have you heard about this? I love it. There's only one original wonder of the world left, so this German film producer/author/aviator (basically, a guy with a ton of money) set out to pick seven new wonders. I think the only requirement is that it had to be built (or discovered) before 2000. And there's online voting. So I voted.

Here's who I voted for:
Acropolis, Greece
Christ Redeemer, Brazil (pictured above)
Great Wall, China
Kremlin/St. Basil's, Russia
Petra, Jordan
Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
Stonehenge, United Kingdom

I think that most of these things have withstood the test of time (particularly the Pyramids - Mama won't leave you out, you original wonder, you) and have come to represent more than just their physical form. That is, six of them have. I voted for Christ Redeemer because it is totally amazing and I am fascinated by it. Of all the 21 finalists, it's the one I most want to see live and in person.

You can vote, too, you know - do it here.

New 7 Wonders - A

Project Runway

I haven't written about Project Runway recently because, well, I haven't written much at all recently. But in case you were wondering, I'm still just as obsessed with it as I ever was (if only they made a Project Runway Stardoll, I'd never leave my computer). I can't believe that the season finale is this week. Back in July, when Season 3 started, I didn't really care about the designers... but now, I don't know how I'm going to get along without them.

As a side note, just so everyone knows, I don't own any Project Runway paraphernalia, and Christmas is just around the corner!

Anyway, for the first time, PR had a final four, instead of a final three. Which is awesome, because eliminating one of these four designers would have been really, really hard. The first part of the finale, which aired last Wednesday, showed the four designers working on their Fashion Week collections and arriving at Fashion Week to put the finishing touches on their garments. It also showed Jeffery NOT putting finishing touches on his garments. They were all done. Stick a fork in 'em, they're done. D-U-N done. And Laura accused Jeff of outsourcing his work - otherwise, how could he have completely finished impeccable garments, when the other three were still sewing on buttons? But even though there is a potential for scandal in this final episode, I think the editors and producers of PR (who have been robbed of their rightful Best Reality Show Emmys the last two years) just want us to think there's a scandal. My theory is, not only is Jeff allowed to compete in the final challenge, but he wins. Yep, I said it. I predict Jeffery wins the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, Michael is still my #1 man, but Jeff's collection is incredible.

See for yourself - watch Project Runway this Wednesday at 10 PM (Eastern) on Bravo. And whatever you do, please don't call me after 9:45 - I will be gearing up and can't be disturbed.

Project Runway - A

Another Reason Why Ann Arbor Rocks

Spa busted in brothel sting

Police shut Ann Arbor site, saying women offered sex for money

Thursday, October 12, 2006

BY AMALIE NASH

News Staff Reporter

The business card for Skin Care Philosophie advertises facials, hair removal, light touch massage and hot stone therapy.

The unwritten services, Ann Arbor police allege, include sex acts for money.

The business was shuttered late Tuesday as police arrested the owner and two employees in the latest undercover investigation tied to a potential brothel in the city. Police zeroed in on Skin Care Philosophie, operating out of an older office building behind a Dairy Queen on West Stadium Boulevard, after readers who saw an Ann Arbor News article on another brothel bust at the end of June called to offer tips, said Police Sgt. Brian Jatczak of Ann Arbor's Special Investigations Unit.

"I hope the message is becoming pretty clear that if someone opens up one of these, we're going to investigate and shut it down,'' Jatczak said.

Police believe Skin Care Philosophie opened at its current site in the 2300 block of Shelby Avenue earlier this year, but formerly operated as the Cypress Spa on Jackson Road in Scio Township. Neither business name appears to be registered with Washtenaw County, but Skin Care Philosophie registered with the state as a limited liability corporation in January.

The business owner could not be reached Wednesday.

Jatczak said his unit began investigating the business about six weeks ago and sent an undercover officer in, who was solicited by employees during massages that occurred with the women partially nude. He said the initial fee was $60, and prices discussed for sex acts varied from an average of $40 to $60.

"They appeared to be getting 10-plus customers a day,'' Jatczak said. "But we never saw any women go in there.''

Officers with the Special Investigations Unit, Crime Response Unit and Livingston and Washtenaw Narcotics Enforcement Team searched the business Tuesday evening, collecting financial records, ledgers and other evidence, Jatczak said. Authorities also searched the owner's South Lyon home.

Police arrested the 39-year-old owner and two employees - a 27-year-old Ann Arbor woman and 31-year-old Dexter woman. They were released pending charges that could include prostitution and operating a house of prostitution, police said.

A total of seven employees worked at the business, which was open from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Jatczak said.

After the search was over, police padlocked the business.

Ann Arbor police began cracking down on potential brothels in 2001, closing five during simultaneous raids that emerged from a federal investigation. Additional spas were closed in December 2005 and last June.

It doesn't appear police investigated any potential prostitution at the spa when it was located in Scio Township. Washtenaw County Sheriff's Cmdr. Dave Egeler said the business apparently moved to the location in the 5100 block of Jackson Road between 2000 and 2001.

Deputies were called to the business five times from 2001 to 2004, for two burglary alarms, two medical emergencies and once for disorderly subjects, Egeler said. In that case, two men who appeared intoxicated refused to leave, and one was demanding sex, he said. Before deputies responded, an employee called back and said the men left, so no police response was needed, Egeler said.

Merry Christmas?

Yep, that's PVC pipe.

Cast Away

I went upstairs to hang out with friends the other night, and they were watching Cast Away. Remember that movie? Let's talk about it.

Here's what I have to say: I've thought about this for many years (off and on, of course), and I've decided that Tom Hanks totally deserved his Oscar nomination. He basically acted without speaking for 90% of the movie. And when he was speaking, it was to a volleyball. Way to go, Tom.

Now, about that volleyball: yes, it's ridiculous, and yes, the product placement was gross, but anyone who doesn't cry when Wilson floats away and Tom is yelling in the water "I'm sorry, Wilson, I'm sorry" is a heartless jerk. That's not a nice thing to say. I apologize. But it's kind of true. I hadn't seen the movie in about five years, maybe more, and I was only sort of half watching it, but when Tom starts back for the raft, just saying "I'm sorry, Wilson" over and over, and then when they show him sobbing on the raft at night, I got all teary. That's a hell of a scene.

Finally, Alan Silvestri wrote the theme. It's a really good theme. I think it won an Oscar. You should listen to it on iTunes or something.

Cast Away - B+

Little Caesar's

Since I've become a hoity-toity grownup Ann Arbor-ite, I almost never eat "nasty" pizza. You know the kind: cheap, fast, greasy, and from a national chain. But last night I had a few pieces of Little Caesar's pepperoni pizza. It didn't let me down. It was everything I was expecting it to be, with one glaring exception - there was only one pizza. Whatever happened to pizza pizza? I thought a person was obligated to get two pizzas from Little Caesar's.

Remember when Little Caesar's and Dominos were really good? And pizza delivery was innovative? And the Noid and the Roman were going head-to-head in advertising wars? Those were the good ol' days.

Little Caesar's - B

Stardoll

I am totally obsessed with Stardoll. Totally obsessed. I found out about it from The Gilded Moose, this new celebrity gossip blog that I've been reading. Basically, Stardoll is Internet celebrity paper dolls. There are hundreds of dolls to choose from, and each doll has clothes choices - so you get to put your doll in whatever kooky get-up you like. I've already made dolls of: Tyra Banks, Kelly Clarkson, Bjork, Cher, Lindsay Lohan, and Fergie. I'm working on my Lil Kim doll right now. She's amazing.

This rendition of Paris Hilton is from The Gilded Moose - for some reason, I can't capture any of the ones I did. Which is too bad, because I really want to share them with you. However, if you're looking for a completely amazing waste of time, then sign up (for free!) here, and you can search for me - I am, of course, naivehelga.

The only problem I have with Stardoll is sometimes, the layering of the clothes doesn't work like I want it to. How can I make an accurate Mary-Kate Olson if the jackets and skirts won't layer?

Stardoll - A

Swinging Arms

Have you ever noticed the crazy way some people swing their arms when they walk? I know everyone does it, but some people just have a more pronounced swing than others. I saw a guy the other day whose arms crossed all the way in front of his body - both arms going the same direction in front, rather than one arm going forward and one going back. Today, I saw a girl doing the same thing, except somehow she threw herself off and did a sort of arm stutter, and she got all flustered and started over. It was so weird.

I don't get it. My arms just swing the normal way, opposite the leg in front, a little forward. Anyone out there have an abnormal arm swing that they'd like to share?

crazy arms - C

Lost Bloggers

I used to read this blog by a gal named MamaKraft. What I loved about reading her blog was that I didn't know her. It wasn't extra insight into the life of someone I already knew - I was forging a bond with a woman who lived across the country. And I didn't even know her real name.

Now she's gone. Her anonymity was compromised, and she's vanished into cyberlandm, taking her URL with her - without telling me of her whereabouts! Come back, Mama. I miss you.

the strange disappearance of MamaK - F

NaiveHelga vs. Chargenda

Since yesterday was wedding number 44, and Chargenda and I were both there, we thought it would be fun to do a point/counterpoint he said/she said-type thing. Of course, I don't know if he'll actually deliver, so maybe he'll take this as a challenge.

Here are the high points from my perspective: I got to see Char, which doesn't happen very often. That was for sure the highest of the high points (love you, Char!). I got paid to sing, which is always fantastic. Nate and I went out of town - hooray for gooing out of town, whatever the reason. I got to wear my fabulous ribbon dress. And, the bride and groom got married. Now, this may not seem like a "high point," because that is what typically happens at weddings, and there was never any doubt that they would go through with it, but I'm always a little bit nervous that the wedding is going to be cancelled at the last minute. And this one wasn't.

OK, now the low points: this event definitely made the top five list of worst experiences to happen to me as a singer (I'll tell you some of the others sometime if you're lucky). I had to use a mic, which I hate, and the DJ ran the keyboard sound through his system, and the result was a sound that defies description. I sounded fine. The piano sounded horrible. Eventually, the trumpet player pulled the plug on the DJ's equipment, and the pianist and I carried along and sounded significantly better. But for about three minutes, it was really, really painful and horrible and scary and ridiculous. I don't even know if anyone was able to laugh at it. Other low points: Nate and I were definitely at a "B-list" table, and there was a lot of uncomfortable preachiness. Oh, and not a lot of alcohol.

So let's see what Chargenda has to say about it.

my grade - B- (oooh, it's sort of like Glieberman and Schwarzbaum in Entertainment Weekly!)

Harriet Carter

All right, which one of you jackasses signed me up to get the Harriet Carter catalog? Because I got it in the mail a couple days ago, and it wasn't addressed to "Resident." It was addressed to me. How did they get my address?

Harriet Carter is the largest purveyor of useless junk on the planet. It even surpasses Oriental Trading Company for the amount of things in one catalog that a person doesn't need (at least OTC supplies party favors, which are inherently disposable - HC stuff is supposed to last). Take, for instance, this "hair umbrella." This is so you can get a haircut at home and the hair won't go all over the floor or down your neck. I think it looks like a man pot pie. How do you suppose this guy got the gig modeling the hair umbrella? I bet his agent got fired after this one.

Or how about this tiki face tissue dispenser? What genius thought this up? I think Harriet Carter might be the home for ill inventions - you know, you send away for that patent kit and your brilliant item ends up on page 86 - but at least you got some media coverage.

Harriet Carter - C- (points awarded for the hours of amusement I can get flipping through the catalog)

Top Five

In no particular order, here are my top five things of the day:

107one - the quintessential Ann Arbor radio station. What I love about 107one is, truly, the variety. I like listening to the radio. The car I drove for about seven years didn't have a tape deck or CD player, so I got very accustomed to listening to the radio whilst in the car, and I developed a love for pop music. However, sometimes I don't want to hear the same damn pop songs over and over. 107one is really my kind of station. They play a lot of pop, but they also play a lot of REM, Indigo Girls, Tori Amos, and bands that are flying under the radar of mainstream radio stations. It's a little pretentious, sure, but the music selection is mighty fine.

YouTube - wanna see the theatrical trailer for almost any movie playing now or from the last five years? YouTube. Have a craving to see all of the Cosby Show intros? YouTube. Interested to see how people with way too much time on their hands make use of digital video equipment and the Internet? YouTube. I don't know what I'll look for next - there's a world of possibilities.

Money - I have a little bit right now, and my life is easier. Not only is it easier, it's prettier. I am going to get a manicure and pedicure tomorrow, things I haven't done in a really long time.

America's Next Top Model - I am so totally into this show, it's not funny. I have been thinking about it all week. Since I haven't watched a whole season (or as ANTM likes to call them, "cycle") from the beginning, now I understand what the big deal is. This show is insane. First of all, some of the girls aren't even pretty. Second, it shows the dark side of a bunch of divas living in one house together, competing for a prize. It's definitely a cushy version of "Survivor." Finally, everyone knows that models are crazy, and now we get to see aspiring ones develop that craziness. It's sick and gross and I love it.

This picture.

Everything gets an A.

Here It Goes Again

By now, many of you have already seen or at least heard about OK Go's new video for "Here It Goes Again," but I'm here to give it naivehelga's endorsement. This video is a riot. It's mesmerizing. The first time I saw it, I couldn't take my eyes off the TV. Now, every time it comes on, I anticipate my favorite parts and lean forward on the couch - and it's just as captivating as the first time I saw it.
For those of you without MTV or VH1, you can check it out on YouTube (which is also a fabulous new toy that I'll write about some day). "Here It Goes Again" is right up there with "Sledgehammer," "Golddigger," and "Losing My Religion" for all-time top videos.

"Here It Goes Again" - A

Edmond

Here's what I have to say about Edmond:
1 - my brother is in it. He plays a junior lawyer who just got out of the office and has rushed to his night job which helps him pay off his student loans. Yes, folks, my brother plays a bartender in a tie. Even though he's only in it for a split second, this was the first time I've ever seen my Bubba up on a big screen, and it was pretty sweet.

2 - this is William H. Macy as you've never seen him before - and really, you don't ever want to see him like this again.

3 - Edmond is like an amusement park ride - no pregnant women or people with heart conditions allowed, and certainly no one under 36 inches tall (basically, no kids). This movie made me cringe more than once. But I still recommend it - see point 1.

Edmond - B+

Happy Breakfast

This is my new favorite commercial campaign, for Jimmy Dean sausage. These commercials make me want to eat nasty breakfast sandwiches - so I guess they work. Check 'em out here. My favorite is the one with the moon. I feel like my day isn't complete until I see the full moon. I also like the one called "burn." It made me laugh out loud.

Jimmy Dean commercials - A-

America's Next Top Model

OK, I loved ANTM. Loved it. I hope it's always on at 9, so I can watch it and Project Runway.

I've seen episodes from earlier cycles, but I've never seen the first episode of any cycle, so I'm all about watching from the beginning and predicting early on, then watching my favorites fall. So far, I like Jaeda (even though she looks like a man), Megan (she looks like Kim!), and CariDee. I also think Megg is beautiful, but super annoying. Also, those twins are not cute at all, but huge kudos to whichever one did the bulimia picture - that shot was shocking and provocative and incredible.

ANTM - B+ (points off because I really, really didn't want to like it, but I do)

PS. Here's that picture of Michelle. For those of you who didn't watch the show, the theme of the photo shoot was "model misconceptions" - dumb blonde, anorexic, throws her phone at her assistant, won't get out of bed for less than ten grand a day, that sort of thing. This bulimia picture is kind of spectacular.

Grammar Cops for the New Millennium

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Snow Patrol.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

And English teachers everywhere rejoice.

grammatically correct song lyrics - A

Sports Night

Once upon a time, a young woman lived a cold, cold life. She didn't know joy. She didn't know happiness. She didn't know the best writing on television.

She didn't know Sports Night.

And then, a benefactor appeared, saying "I've told you about Sports Night for years. Just borrow my DVDs." The girl tried to refuse, saying, "I'm not going to have time to watch TV." The benefactor said "They're only 27 1/2 minutes long each. Just take 'em."

And I did.

And my life has never been better. This show is completely awesome. It's very West Wing (which makes sense, considering that the Schlamme/Sorkin brain trust developed it) with fast dialogue and conversations in hallways, but it's easy to follow and very funny - with some brilliant eloquent speeches thrown in, of course, to keep the smart people entertained. I totally love it. I realize it's been off the air for almost seven years, and if it were still going, then Six Feet Under, The West Wing, and Desperate Housewives would have been very different shows, but I'm kind of sad that the 20 episodes I have left to watch are the only other 20 episodes ever. I want there to be more. I NEED there to be more. Good thing Grey's Anatomy starts this week, 'cause when Sports Night is over, I'm going to need something to fill my TV time.

Watch this show. Rent it if you can, buy it if you must.

Sports Night - A+

Heh?

I'm singing in yet another wedding in a couple weeks. I was working on learning my song today, but got a little hung up on some of the lyrics. This is probably one of the prettiest songs I've ever sung at a wedding, but I don't understand what these lyrics mean, and I'd like your help.

"Well, then, what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife? Is it love that brings you here, or love that brings you life? For if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for? Do you believe in something that you've never seen before? - There is love."

OK, it's not that they're unintelligible, or completely cheesy - I have in fact sung lyrics significantly cheesier than these - but what does that third line mean? "If loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?" Are they talking about giving away the bride, or giving a present? I'm sure it's not the present, because this is a song that's meant to be taken seriously, and no self-respecting Christian lyricist would include a little pun about gift-giving. So, we're talking about giving away the bride, then?

How exactly am I supposed to feel these lyrics if I don't know what in the hell they mean?

mystery lyrics - C-

ps. typed in "cheesy wedding picture" and got this one - A+ to Google images

Olympus Fashion Week

To spare anyone out there who a) isn't into Project Runway or b) wants the final runway show to be a surprise, I'm not posting any pictures for this one. But, if you want to know more, I suggest you go here or here to see pictures. Some of the designs are incredible. Some of the designs are not. Now that I've seen designs from all four of the final designers, I don't know who's in the final three and who's the decoy. My head might explode between now and the final show.

And there are other designers there, too. Jay from season 1, and Michael Kors and Catherine Malandrino and even some who don't have anything to do with Project Runway. Maybe someday I'll take my big Chanel sunglasses and try to get into Fashion Week. Who's with me?

Olympus Fashion Week - A-

Project Runway

When I found out that the challenge was to design a black-and-white dress, my first thought was "Well, Laura's going to win, since all she ever designs is black-and-white." Now, I'm not saying that this dress isn't adorable, and a welcome change from all the "mature" things she's been designing, and I love Camilla, her model. I'm just saying that Laura had a bit of an edge since she was used to working with a minimal palette.
I think Entertainment Weekly summed it up best in their "What to Watch" section - "Admit it: You just want this season over so you can buy Michael's line." Everything the man designs is gold.
It's not awesome that Vincent's model got in a bike accident, but you know what? I thought she was gross and not pretty at all. Of course, that weirdo that Vincent had to use in Jia's place was truly ugly. She looked like a bad drag queen.
Tomorrow is the real life Project Runway show at Olympus Fashion Week. I won't spoil anything for you (unless you ask really nicely), but I'll be looking at the pictures to see if I can determine who made the top three. In case you don't know, Bravo and Project Runway have all four designers who are still in the running on the show when Fashion Wekk actually happens show collections. So, even though one of them is actually out, to fool the press, Michael, Laura, Uli and Jeff will all be showing collections tomorrow. And Jay, Malan and Michael Kors all showed collections today. Super exciting.

Project Runway - A

Back To School

One of my most favorite things in the whole world is doing a Google search for images for my blog, and seeing what random shit they offer to me. This is one of the first twenty images offered for "back to school." It doesn't get much better than this.

The professors and administration have reached some sort of agreement, so I have a full day of class today. I'm excited. I packed my lunch and everything. Since I'm getting that work done on my car, Nate had to drop me off at school early, so I've been in the library using the school's printers to print the huge documents I need for some of my classes - stickin' it to the man whenever I can.

back to school - B+

Run Away! Run Away!

Yesterday, Nate and I made a quick stop at Game Stop, home of all things video game. Nate needed to trade in an old one and get a new one, and since we had just dropped my car off to get some work done, I was at his mercy for errands. Well, I was looking around, and I walked up to a section where the sales girl had just been reshelving. Nate walked up, too, and just as he was reaching my side, I smelled the worst fart smell I have ever experienced. It was unbelievable nasty. So Nate walks up, and I cast him a sidelong glance and laugh - in horror. He looked at me, totally grossed out, and we walked in separate directions. After much standing around, the sales girl finally checked us out, and we left the store. After we were a safe distance away from the door, Nate looked at me and said:

"Dude, you're nasty."

HE BLAMED ME! HE BLAMED ME! I said "Nuh-unh, buddy, that wasn't me, it was the sales girl." Nate said "Liar!" And I said "Seriously. That was not me. She farted and ran away from it." Nate said, "You looked at me and giggled." I said "Right - because it was gross. It wasn't me. It was the sales girl."

And Nate said "Sick."

fin.

super gross sales girl farts - F

The Dark Ages

That's where I'm livin'.

My Internet has gone missing. For some reason, Comcast decided to turn it off. I hate them.

I feel like... a barbarian. I have to use the computer at school. Why? Why?

the suckers at Comcast - F

An Extended Summer Vacation

Wednesday was my first day of classes for the semester - but it was pretty anticlimactic. The overwhelming majority of professors at my university are on strike. Which means they're not having class until they get the contract they want. Which is crazy. Not "you professors are dumb" crazy, but "I can't believe I'm not having class" crazy.
I only have classes two days a week. The other three days, I'm going to be busting my ass at work. But because of this strike, and the fact that I only had one class on Wednesday, I feel like I'm still on vacation. I can't make myself get out of bed at a reasonable hour, and then I just lay around and watch ER reruns until noon and only after that's all done do I get my shit together for the day.
Getting into work by 9 AM isn't fully expected of me - yet - since I work in the nighttime, too, and really, no one expects me to work a thirteen-hour day. But damn! I'm a grown-up! I should be up by 8 at the latest!

Anyway, that's my story.

I'm kind of sad I didn't see this lady picketing. She looks awesome.

professors on strike, and the havoc it's wreaking on my sleep cycle - C+

Project Runway

What a great challenge. Make something pretty, by hand, not out of garbage or with a matching accessory for a dog? Good move, Bravo. It was time for us to see our designers working like designers.

I think Uli should have won. Yes, she did what she always does, a long, flowy, halter-y number, but this one was sophisticated and subdued, and she did a lot of hand work. It was stunning. Jeff's dress (you can see it in the background) was awesome, but I think Uli edged him out. But what do I know?

I'm not disappointed that my prediction for the week (Kayne out) was wrong. Vincent just rode that crazy train a little too long, and it was TIME FOR HIM TO GO. Also, what was up with not following the theme of the challenge? Glue? Please. I'm sorry he cashed in his 401K, but his time on the show - and perhaps in the fashion industry altogether - is over.

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm looking forward to Laura's little meltdown next week. Can you imagine the pressure she's under coupled with the hormonal changes of pregnancy? She's got to be a wreck. And she needs to change up her look and style, before she goes home too early for doing the same things over and over. I'm still betting on Michael, Laura and Jeff, but Laura could be on the verge of going home. Hang in there, Laura!

Project Runway - A-

Lay In Provisions

'Cause this one's gonna be long.

Labor Day weekend was a doozy. I won't bore you with the details of work - I'd rather jump to the good stuff. On Thursday, Nate asked me what my schedule was for the weekend, and I told him the Sunday was pretty much clear except for a half-hour meeting at work. When I asked why he wanted to know he said he was taking me on a date, but the destination would be a surprise. I said "A heels date, or a tennis shoes date?" He said a tennis shoes date, but that I had to get some exercise before we went. This meant the date would be either one of two things: strenuous and physical, or gluttonous and yummy.
It was the latter. Nate took me to the A&W in Dexter, because he heard that they made really good chili dogs. And I love chili dogs. We had chili dogs (foot long, of course), fries and onion rings, and icy cold mugs of A&W root beer. The chili dog was not the best I've ever had, but the anticipation of a surprise date, coupled with the fine accoutrements (damn good root beer!) made the whole experience worthwhile. Chili dog - B, surprise date - A+.
After the chili dogs (and some Dairy Queen for dessert), Nate and I decided to rent a couple movies. Usually, renting movies is a hassle. There are plenty of Helga movies, and plenty of Nate movies, but not too many Helga and Nate movies. This time, however, we lucked out. We started with The Matador, another movie we wanted to see in the theatre but were too poor to afford. This movie was great. I totally loved it. Pierce Brosnan plays his usual dashing character, but with a twist: he's an assassin! And he meets up with Greg Kinnear, a businessman who's on a trip to Mexico. Some hilarity with bite ensues. Later, the two reconnect, accompanied by Kinnear's wife, played by Hope Davis. She's amazing. The last movie I saw her in was American Splendor, and she's nothing like that character (thank God - she's so awkward in that one). She made me laugh out over and over. The Matador is fun and clever and I highly recommend it. And that's all I can say because I don't want to ruin anything for you. The Matador - A-
On Monday, we watched our other rental, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I had heard a lot of good things about KKBB, particularly about Robert Downey, Jr. and Val Kilmer, but didn't really know the story. But I'm glad I made the move to rent it, because it was PHENOMENAL. If I had to classify it, I'd call it a "crime dramedy." That is, there are crime elements (and enough shooting to satisfy those of you who like their movies bloody), and there are drama elements, but sometimes, it's just really damn funny (that's "-edy" as in "comedy"). So, Val Kilmer's character is Perry? And he's gay? So they call him Gay Perry? That's funny. And for maybe the first time in his fabled career, Val is very, very good. Understated. Funny with some depth. And Robert Downey, Jr., who my mother once called the best actor of his generation, is perfect. Totally perfect. Being off the drugs helps, but I've never seen him better. And, as a bonus, he sings the song over the closing credits. If you haven't RDJ sing, check out this movie for that, because it's worth it. Again, don't want to give anything away, but this is a movie you have to see. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - A

That's my weekend.

overall Labor Day weekend - A

Crikey.

I can't believe that someone said that Steve Irwin's death was "untimely." I also can't believe that he didn't die a long time ago, eaten by some vicious creature. Not knowing him, I think this is the way he would have wanted to go - stung in the heart by a stingray while filming a special called "Ocean's Deadliest." We'll miss you, Steve.

Steve Irwin - B- (you know, I never really loved him, but he sure filled a naturific niche, didn't he?)

V for Vendetta

Nate and I had been wanting to see V for Vendetta when it came out in the movie theater, but we're moviegoers on a budget, so instead we opted to see Slither (which, as you may recall, we loved). Nate's into movies adapted from comic books/graphic novels, and I've gotten into them, too, so there were high hopes for V for Vendetta, and a couple days ago, we finally rented it.

And it was fine. Certainly not the best movie I've seen recently, but also not the worst. Natalie Portman's accent was not awesome, but her character was pretty good. Stephen Rea was really good as the detective on the case, and Hugo Weaving as "V" was kind of amazing. I like actors who can do their thing behind a mask and still make something of their character.

Two things bothered me, and I can't get past them: there was footage of Baby Jessica being pulled from the well, circa 1986, but they used it as an image out of time to show how things had disintegrated in the US. I think it was a bad choice. That image is burned into my head as "Baby Jessica being pulled from the well," and I think a lot of other people remember it, too. They should have used some footage that's a little more vague. Also, the last ten minutes of the movie are totally cheesy. Cheesy music, cheesy sentimentality, cheesy camera shots, and a super super cheesy final speech from Miss Portman. Give me a break. Lay off the fromage.

V for Vendetta borders on being a thinking-man's action movie, but it doesn't quite get there - probably because there's not quite enough thinking or quite enough action.

V fof Vendetta - C+