She's Not! That! Innocennnnnt!

OK, I realize that all sorts of people are going to be blogging about and commenting on Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy. I could have taken the high road and not commented... but where's the fun in that?

I have to hand it to Jamie Lynn. She has single-handedly taken the heat off Britney, which I didn't think was possible. While many have dubbed Britney the Trainwreck of 2007, I think that JL's little announcement may have derailed that train (nice follow-through on train analogy!). The only thing that will keep Britney on top is if she, too, is pregnant, and does something completely whack like lets JL use K-Fed for Lamaze support.

What's next for celebrity siblings? Haylie Duff with veneers? Aliana Lohan in rehab? Time will tell. It always does on the mean streets of Tinseltown.

Jamie Lynn's bun in the oven - C- (at least six more months of Spears family coverage in the tabloids - wheee!)

Project Runway Recap

OK, Project Runway, you're starting to lose me. I will never fully leave you - much like how I feel about ER, or how my dad feels about the Dallas Cowboys, you will always be my favorite reality show, and I'm not giving up on you... but this crop of designers isn't moving me, and the challenges haven't been that exciting yet, and WHERE ARE THE MODELS!? Every other week, there's some crazy challenge that means the designers have to use other models, or it's a group challenge and we only see half the girls. Of course, maybe it's because the models aren't as good this season, either. Where's the drama? Where are the innovative outfits? Where are the tears? Oh, right, Ricky provides the tears.

This week's episode: we said farewell to Jack, who left the show due to a raging staph infection in his lip. I was getting into Jack, but it has to be said - that infection made him look like a monkey. But I have to give some credit to Bravo for bringing back Chris, who was auf'd last week. Aside from him leaving too early in the first place (Ricky's good TV, but his look last week was no good), it's good to have the "right" number of designers for this stage of the competition. It would have felt like there were too few people.
I didn't love this challenge - make clothes out of pre-existing clothes. Haven't we seen this before - season 2, the second challenge, Kirsten didn't use that scarf? Again, it's great that they honored the women who had lost a bunch of weight, and some of the designs were really good, but I am ready to see something spectacular - like the couture challenge or dog challenge from season 3, or the garden challenge from season 2. Please, Bravo - put the spice back in my favorite show!

Project Runway - B

Movie Madness: American Gangster

I can best sum up this movie by paraphrasing my good buddy ES, with whom I saw this decent film last night: "I felt like I've seen it before." This is not to say that it was bad - on the contrary, we both thought it was quite good. But the story line's the same as it ever was: there's a bad guy, doing some bad stuff, there's a cop, doing some stuff that's not perfect, but not as bad as the stuff the bad guy's doing, and the cop is going to bring the bad guy to justice. Simple as that, right? Going into this movie, you have to think that the bad guy is going to get caught eventually, because even if it's based on a true story, movies like this don't get made where the ending is "good guy sucks, bad guys win." It just doesn't happen (here's where the film buffs tell me I'm wrong and name movies where this happens - go ahead! I'm curious!). Two things I really liked: the countless fine actors who appeared in this movie - you never knew who would be on screen next; the violence - yes, I had to cover my eyes, because sometimes it was really, really bad, but it was completely appropriate for a film about a GANGSTER. Come on, violence haters! It's based on a true story, so roll with it.
Oscar worthy? In any other year, I'd say a lock for Best Adapted Screenplay, but not up against all the other stuff coming out. Maybe a nod for Denzel, but not Russell, and maybe for the aged Ruby Dee, who had a dynamite scene that everyone's talking about. That's all it takes for a supporting nomination, one phenomenal scene, and boy, does she have it.

American Gangster - B

Two Weeks

Here's a recap of the last two weeks:

Project Runway of 12/5 - B: it is not nearly as exciting this season as it has been in season's past, I'm not rooting for anyone yet, and Michael Kors and I are still bored

having a cold - D-

clothes shopping - A-: I have found a few new cute things, and my wardrobe is getting better all the time

J. Crew short-length pants - A

needing a haircut - C+

less than two weeks until my Christmas vacation - A

possible airport delays - D- (will certainly become an F if they actually happen)

Project Runway Recap

I really only have one thing to say about this week's episode of PR: Ginny Barber looks like Kimora Lee Simmons.

OK, I'll say more. I was a little disappointed by the episode. I think that the majority of the designers fell flat in the menswear challenge, and I was certainly expecting more drama when Jack used his shorts as a pattern for pants. I supposed that the drama could still surface, especially since he won the challenge - could it be that the shorts were an unfair advantage, and maybe he'll be disqualified? Doubtful, but it would be interesting. I didn't really like Jack's outfit. The stripes were too much for me. I thought Kit should have won. That fleece jacket was may-jah.

Project Runway - B+ (as Michael Kors would say, I'm bored - spice it up a little!)

Movie Madness: Enchanted

I can't even lie and say I saw this because of the Oscar buzz surrounding Amy Adams' performance (although it didn't hurt). No, I saw this movie because I straight up wanted to. The trailers looked precious, I love P-Demps, Amy Adams is adorable and I just wanted to have a feel-good movie experience. So there.
This movie was everything I thought it would be. Amy Adams was perfect as Giselle, the cartoon princess who is banished to real-world NYC by an evil queen. She meets P-Demps and he helps her out... and of course he falls in love with her! He was perfect, too - very believable as the harried lawyer/single father too busy to believe in the fairy tale version of love. I like him. I also really liked James Marsden, who plays Prince Edward, Giselle's true love who comes down to New York to rescue his bride. He was completely ridiculous and had some of the best lines in the whole thing.
Oddly, Susan Sarandon as the evil Queen Narissa was the weak link. She did this weird flicking thing with her tongue that was just too much for me.
And the musical numbers were fabulous! There are only a few, but they're all wonderful and over-the-top (in a good way). I think that Alan Menken and Steven Schwartz will get nominated for an Oscar for one of them.
If you're looking for a feel-good movie that you don't have to think too hard about, then this might be the one for you.

Enchanted - B

Movie Madness: La Vie En Rose

This is one of those movies that I felt obligated to see. Marion Cotillard is receiving HUGE Oscar buzz for her performance as Edith Piaf, French singer and tragic figure, and you know me - if it's got Oscar buzz, I have to see it. But other than that, I wasn't really interested. I don't know a whole lot about Edith Piaf, and what I do know is that the sound of her voice bothers me. Or so I thought. More on that later.

Marion Cotillard is truly outstanding in this film. Not knowing anything about EP, I can't say that no one else could have played this role, but who cares? Marion completely embodied this role, and turned Edith Piaf into a real person and not a caricature of a real person. She acted the hell out of this. She WILL receive an Oscar nomination, and she'll probably win.

But as a whole, I didn't love this movie. It used a filmmaking device I like to call "FUBAR Chronology." Basically, this film starts in the middle, then goes back to the beginning, then a little before the middle, then later than the beginning, then the end, then back to just after the middle, then... you get the idea. But unlike Pulp Fiction, which also employs FUBAR Chronology, LVER just confused me. I never really knew what time I was watching - was this before the collapse, or after? Before the brothel, or after? Before or after the boxing match? That sort of thing. Ultimately, it kept me from being totally taken in by the story - I never forgot I was watching a movie. Also, as BHunt says, it's just another biopic. A good one, sure, and Marion Cotillard was awesome, but in this age of Ray and Walk the Line, I'm sort of over singer biopics.

One more thing - Edith's voice! It grew on me. I think that seeing "her" sing helped, but I still don't think I want an Edith Piaf album in my collection.

La Vie En Rose - B

Movie Madness: No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men had three things going for it: it's gotten some Oscar buzz, Nate wanted to see it, and I could get in free. When these stars align, you know I have to see it. I wasn't disappointed. NCFOM was pretty awesome. It wasn't one of those movies that I left thinking "that movie was awesome (like Capote);" I had to think about it for a little bit. In fact, I'm still thinking about it - in a good way. Because it was that awesome. Let's start with the scenery and cinematography. NCFOM had a Brokeback Mountain feel to it at times - little people and cars in a huge, empty expanse of land. I like that. I also like some of the interesting camera angles chosen for certain shots. The sound is also pretty cool - I think. The big downfall of the theater where I saw this film is that it's right above a super hip cool trendy clothing store, and you can hear the bass of the store's music through the floor and walls of the theater. Nonetheless, I could tell that the soundtrack (and by that I mean the music and the sound effects) is good and perfectly fitting for the film.
But when it comes down to it, a film makes or breaks itself for me in the actors - and these actors made the film. Tommy Lee Jones was great. He was just the right amount of new character with the perfect dose of the TLJ we see in every movie. He plays a small-town Texas sheriff... of course he does. And Josh Brolin and Kelly MacDonald were great, too. When you see this movie, think about the fact that Miss Kelly is from Glasgow, Scotland. Just... think about it.

Ultimately, this movie belongs to Javier Bardem. He is nothing short of sensational. If I were a high-powered movie reviewer, I would say that he is a "revelation." He completely embodied this role, in a way that I bet haunts him at night. I truly feel that if he is not nominated for an Oscar for this, every Academy voter must have been smoking drugs at the same time.

By all means, go see this.

No Country for Old Men - A

Project Runway Recap

Oh Project Runway, I am thankful for you. Here's why: Sarah. Jessica. Parker. She never even crossed my mind. You picked the perfect guest judge... although I am VERY skeptical of her Bitten line. Steve and Barry's? Really? The last thing I bought at S&B's was a yellow polo shirt, and it shrank after the first wash. But, it was $5.99. So there. Sarah Jessica Effin' Parker. I love it. I feel like she dialed it down and was more real, less Carrie Bradshaw, for her stint as a judge. Way to go, SJP.

As for the challenge: I appreciate that the designers needed to make something that retailed for less than $40, but it was also incredibly disheartening to see what chintzy material the designers used, since most of my clothes retail for less than $40. Also, why the leggings? If Project Runway designers not only endorse leggings but MAKE them, I fear for the state of fashion. Ricky's dress was adorable. I liked Victorya's dress, and the little vest was super cute, but I can't see any "real woman" wearing that vest. It was way too tiny. As for Elisa and Sweet P... I stand by my opinion that the cape was lame. Who buys capes? And Elisa needs to go with a different color. That's two weeks in a row of teal/turquoise.

Ricky's the crier this season! I'm glad that's settled.

Project Runway - A

Six Degrees

Hi - I (zero) have a brother (that's one).









My brother is close personal friends with Felicity Huffman (that's two).











Felicity is on a hit show with Eva Longoria (that's three).











Eva has recently opened a restaurant with Todd English (four), where a nice young man named Seth is the main man in charge in the kitchen (five).






My bestie is Seth's sister.

So you see? Even if we didn't know each other, we'd still be only six degrees away from knowing each other. Awesome.

Six Degrees of Separation - A

Oooohhh!

My parking structure has a new elevator lobby, and it is very fancy. Not quite as fancy as this picture, but pretty close - the floors appear to be made of marble, in a lovely shade of light brown. Actually, it's just the floors that are fancy. Everything else needs to be finished, like the bare walls and exposed electrical wires and buttons, but the floor is beautiful. But I wonder at its necessity. It's just a parking structure, where hundreds of office workers park every day, but nothing more than that. Is this why my monthly fee went up so much?

fancy parking structure lobby floor - B+

Project Runway Recap

First, big props to Blogging Project Runway - they had this awesome photo over on their blog, and I'm borrowing it. Thanks, BPR!

Next, if you haven't watched the show yet, stop reading now.

Well, I need a little more time to get accustomed to this crop of designers, but I think I'm really going to like Rami, Carmen, Kevin and Chris. Rami's design was my favorite of the challenge, and he won! It was totally deserved. I also really liked Jack's design, but I think at some point his queeniness is going to make me not like him as a person. Time will tell.

Elisa is whackadoo. I knew she wasn't going to get kicked off because she is good TV. But seriously, that dress was a nightmare.

Project Runway premiere - A-

Photos: (top, l-r) Christian, Elisa, Jack, Jillian and Chris
(middle, l-r) Carmen, Kevin, Sweet P, Marion and Kit
(bottom, l-r) Rami, Simone, Steven, Victorya and Ricky
photos courtesy of Bravo and BPR

Project Runway!

Wheeeee! I am so excited for the premiere of Project Runway season 4. I'm getting ready by wearing my most fashion-forward outfit and telling all my co-workers "you're out." Of course, I have to work tonight, but if I know Bravo like I think I do, I'll be able to watch the instant reply at 11 PM. There aren't too many shows I'm willing to stay up for, but PR is one of them.
There is a bit of overexposure as far as the new contestants go, but I still don't know anything about them (figure that one out). I want to hate Christian - he's the one who says "I'm kind of a big deal" - but Tim Gunn says he's a prodigy and I bet his clothes are awesome. But Nate says that there always has to be a villian: Wendy Pepper, Santino/Zulema, Jeff (and especially Marcel and Hung from Top Chef). I predict that's the role Christian will play - the man you love to hate. I can't tell who I'm rooting for yet. If PR plays out like a typical reality show, a woman will win this season, probably a minority - so good luck, Carmen and Victorya! Keep watching.

Project Runway - A!

The FUUUTURRRRRE!

On Halloween, I got my palm read. I've always wanted to get my palm read - there was a weird little place where I went to college that would do palm readings and crystal ball gazings, and back in the '90s, it was ten bucks per reading. What a bargain. I love Arkansas. But on Halloween, it was a fun extra part of a concert at work, so I had Dr. Voodoo read my palm. He told me that I'm attracted to assholes. He also told me that I need to be more assertive and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt over and over. He also told me that it was possible that I would probably have one child. Yeah, thanks for the specificity. Good times.

palm reading - B-

Scab

Since I am not a member of the Writers Guild of America, I am not crossing any picket lines to continue writing this blog. I suppose that, in a show of solidarity, I could refuse to write until the Hollywood writers get their due... but that's no fun. Besides, I have stories. Stay tuned.

writers' guild strike - C (I support their decision to get what they think they deserve, but I do worry about the effect it will have on my TV/movie watching)

All I Want For Christmas...

... is for this rumored pair to be true. Please, Santa, will you bring me an Ashley Olson/Lance Armstrong canoodling in Cannes picture? Puh-LEEEEEZE?



surprising celebrity couples - A

J. Crew

Dear J. Crew,
I love you. I love your colors. My favorite look this season is your bright pink hoodie over a poplin shirt patterned with skiers. So cute, and so deliciously cozy-preppy. But if our relationship is ever going to flourish like it should, a couple things need to change.
1 - your sizing. Your stores tell me that I'm too fat, that you don't stock clothes in my size, and if you do, they are way too long because you don't have short-length pants. But I have a feeling that you've changed your sizes, that a real 10 is a J. Crew 8, a 12 a J. Crew 10, and so on. But I'll never really know, because I see that you don't have "my size" in your store, and I would never try on something that appears to be two sizes too small.
2 - your prices. That pink hoodie I love so much? Seventy-four dollars. For a hooded sweatshirt. The cute little poplin button-down shirt? Eighty-four dollars. That is way too much, J. Crew. When I wandered over to the sale rack the other day, you had a super cute navy-and-lavender cotton button-down, but marked down it was still about eighty bucks - because it had originally been $120. I'm sorry, dear, but that is just too much for what it was. I know some people will pay it, but not me. I won't even buy your $28 headbands.

I'm sorry.

J. Crew - C

Euphemisms

On Saturday, I took Nate and his two friends out to dinner as part of Nate's Good Times Birthday Weekend. We had delicious Indian food and a righteous time was had by all, and since I was feeling generous, I decided to pay for all the boys. Now, you should know that all these guys fancy themselves to be ninjas. There was much sparring and wrestling and purchasing of training tools earlier in the day, and I like to show that I can hang, at least as far as the witty repartee is concerned, so when they all started thanking me (because they are ninjas with manners) I said "You're welcome... no problem... but I'll be taking it out of your ass later on."
At which point Nate choked a little on his water and the other two ninjas said "WHOA! Didn't know it was going to be that kind of weekend! Har har har!" And then I realized: the euphemism "take it out of your ass" implies nothing more than a beatdown to me (i.e. "I'm going to take this out of your ass by tanning your hide"), but means something much... naughtier to most other people. How did I miss this? Was I absent the day the teacher explained this? And more importantly, am I really the only person who thought a different meaning was THE meaning?

Cast your votes in my comments section. "Take it out of your ass:" regular ol' spanking or something dirtier?

euphemism misinterpretation - C+

Dog Sitting

Nate and I have been dog sitting for the past few days. I sort of viewed it as a trial run for when we get our own dog, whenever that fateful day may be.
Sloane is, I believe, half terrier, half gazelle. She has the slimmest body and longest legs of any tine dog I've ever seen. And she can jump very high. One of my favorite things that she did is, when I was getting ready to take her for a walk and got her leash out, she would walk behind me and jump and use her front paws as a lever to springboard off my butt. It was hilarious. I wish there was a video of it. Sloane is also very cuddly. She liked to sit right next to me on the couch while I was watching TV, and sometimes she would rest her little face on my leg... so sweet!
But it wasn't all candy and roses. Sloane is a bit of a barker. By the end of her stay in our apartment, she was pretty good about giving one small bark when someone would come into the building, but on day one, she went nutso anytime the outer door opened or closed. Much time was spent saying "No barking!" Also, one day I got her poo on my hand. I'm not sure how this happened, but it was less than awesome.
We really enjoyed having Sloane stay at our house, and we miss her already. Come back, little lady!

Sloane - B+

Mr. Impatient

Allow me to set the scene: I arrived in the elevator vestibule of the parking structure where I park every day, after a long and productive day - meetings, paperwork, numerous phone calls, etc. Ready to go home, yes, but not in a huge yank or anything. I had already pushed the 'down' button for my elevator, and the light had gone out, meaning the elevator was on the ground floor, just getting situated and the doors hadn't opened yet.
Cut to: impatient guy. He speed-walks into the vestibule, comes to a halt in front of the elevator doors, sees the light on the down button not lit up, and pushes the button in rapid-fire succession about eight times. Whoa, buddy! It's on its way! The doors open, he gets in first, pushes the '6' button, asks me my floor (7- I was a little late), then pushes the 'close doors' button. Nothing happens - I think elevators are programmed to wait a minute before taking off, in case someone else comes tearing around the corner - so they guy pushes the 'close doors' button four or five more times. I'm starting to get the picture here. The doors close and we head up. We reach six, and the elevator does what it is supposed to do: stop and settle. The doors never open immediately when the elevator stops, right? Because that could be potentially bad, if there had been a malfunction or something. But Mr. Impatient can't stand it, and he drums his fingernails on the elevator door. Yes, the sign of impatient people everywhere, but in an enclosed space with one other person! It was so bizarre.
As soon as the doors open, he bolted out of the elevator to his car. I hope he didn't get hung up at a bunch of red lights on his way home.

Mr. Impatient - D+