Grey's Anatomy... Again

SPOILERS! If you haven't seen it and want to, under no circumstances should you read this!

Well, Burke made it through. Kind of. His hand is a little wonky, and I imagine he'll never be able to be a surgeon again. Which is sad, because he was very good and he loved it. I think it's important that, a couple episodes ago, he said "I'm a person first." He'll get through this, and it looks like with Cristina by his side, but I think it will be a tough road. I can't wait for the scene where he tells Derek that his hand is effed up. Derek will probably feel really bad and drink a lot and then go bone Meredith.

Unfortunately, Denny Duquette did not fare as well as Burke. It's nice that he had one day of feeling great, proposing to Izzy and all, but that wasn't enough. And let's be honest - Denny was an expendable character. Hot, but expendable. A woman getting over the loss of her fiance is a lot more interesting TV than a woman planning her wedding. I'm just sayin'. I think the writers on Grey's Anatomy brought back the niece with cancer just to have the prom part of the episode and get those doctors out of their scrubs, but more specifically, to get Katherine Heigl into that dress. Didn't she look beautiful laid out on that bed, and in Alex's arms, in that rose pink dress? And wasn't Alex amazing? I tell you what, there's far more to him than meets the eye. Oh yeah, and Izzy quit the program. I imagine that that won't stick, and that she'll be around next season as more than just the freeloading roommate who bakes a lot. Mark my words.

I think Callie is becoming my favorite character. I want her and George to work out, I really do. It's not that he will never love her, he's just a slow mover. Plus, he only last night worked things out with Meredith, so he just needs a little time. To all you Callie haters out there, you have to admit that she proved her worth when she tied up the back of Meredith's dress and then gave Derek that look. Yes, I know her hair and makeup are a little sleazy, but I like that. George needs a little sleaze in his life after the lily-white Meredith.

I'm a little disappointed that the season cliffhanger is Who did Meredith go home with? Nate made a pretty astute observation last night: it's called Grey's Anatomy, yet Meredith isn't really anyone's favorite character. She's whiny and squinty, and yes, scary and damaged. I like her just fine, but other characters are so much better. But with all that said, she needs to be with Derek. Finn who? He's nice, but he's no McDreamy. Of course, like with Izzy and Denny, sad and wrong makes for much better TV than happy and perfect, so GA needs to keep Meredith and Derek apart a while longer. And bring back McSteamy for Addison. She needs a good man.

Other good things from last night's episode: Bailey speaking "teenage girl," and the beginning voiceovers featuring all the cast, instead of just Meredith. I loved that. Overall, Monday night's two-hour finale was not as good as Sunday night's episode, but still a worthwhile piece of television. I'm super excited for the DVD to come out.

Grey's Anatomy - A-

WHAT!?

I have lots of exciting things to write about - new books, new websites, random thoughts on various subjects - but after watching last night's Grey's Anatomy, everything else got shoved to the backburner. It was Out. Of. CONTROL. So many things - where to begin? Please note: if you don't watch it, you can skip naivehelga for the next day or two.
OK, let's start with Izzy and Denny. WTF, Izzy? YOU ARE GOING TO GET KICKED OUT OF THE PROGRAM. Love can make you do crazy things, I know, but do not stop a man's heart. That's insane. And what was she thinking, bringing George into it? If he gets kicked out of the program, I am going to be pissed.
And how about George and Callie? I LOVE Callie (I already established that), and I love her and George together. He wants her to be part of the family! She told him she loves him! I think he wanted to tell her, but then Crazy Izzy had to come in and pull George into her crazy world. I think tonight's episode will be critical for George and Callie, but I have high hopes that it's going to go well.
Oh, didn't I mention that the second and third hours of the season finale are airing tonight, Monday, instead of next Sunday? I don't think I could handle it if I had to wait a week. I believe that this is ABC's way of testing GA on Monday, but I don't think they'll get accurate results with this test. If you watch it on Sundays, and the one Monday night they "test" is the two-hour season finale, you bet your sweet ass that people will watch.
So then there's Meredith and Derek and Addison. And Finn. And McSteamy. This is so complicated, it reminds me of Tech Band. HA! Addison wants to make it work with Derek, but deep down, she knows it's never going to work. He's in love with Meredith. And Meredith's in love with him! So karma would say that they should be together, but that wouldn't be good TV, so we'll just have to suffer through them longing for each other and being with the wrong people for a little while longer.
Finally, if Dr. Burke doesn't make it... well, I'll keep watching, but I might cry every episode. Cristina will be a wreck, Derek will be a wreck, Izzy will be a wreck (because if Burke hadn't been coming back to fix her crazy I'm-going-to-stop-my-love's-heart mess, he wouldn't have been outside when the gunman started shooting), Bailey will be a wreck, the chief, George, you name it. And I love Burke. He's so good. Just a good, good guy. He doesn't deserve to die. I'll be pulling for you, Burke - until 9 PM, when I get to see what happens. I might poop my pants between now and then, just thinking of what could happen.

By the way, just what the hell is Sandra Oh wearing around her neck in this picture?

Grey's Anatomy - A+

Everything Bad Is Good For You

I found this book at work yesterday, and it looked intriguing (many thanks to the person who left it laying on the staff room couch). Johnson writes the counterargument to the common claim that pop culture is dumbing down American society. Not so, Johnson says! He argues that the complex threads of modern TV shows and video games are actually making people smarter. Take Dragnet, for example. A typical Dragnet episode from years ago consisted of only one story arc. Then look at Hill Street Blues - multiple story arcs, lasting into multiple episodes - a revolutionary idea at the time. But then look at The Sopranos, ER, The West Wing, or Lost. These shows have ten or twelve story lines going at the same time, perhaps without payout at the end of the episode. There's specific language that relates to the setting that the viewer may not understand (think POTUS or peder permadicis), but either learns just by watching the show or the show reveals the answer late in the episode. As for video games, they're controlled by the player, there might not be an obvious reward other than a new level, and there are numerous ways for a situation to play out. It's not the spoonfeeding of a book.
Johnson makes some really excellent claims, but the book is too wordy and scientific. I know it's not supposed to be a pop culture book, but rather a scientific view of pop culture, but I got very bogged down. I can't read it all. It's good to skim, and I think that some people will really, really like it, but it was too much for me. I could focus on the points he was making when he used pop culture examples, but not on the jargon of The Sleeper Curve, the Flynn Effect, and g ... which might relate to all the TV I watch.

Everything Bad Is Good For You - B

Bruegger's Bagels

I had to work ridiculously early this morning - we were having a donor breakfast and I wore a tuxedo and opened doors for people who might give money to keep our non-profit running - but the payoff was breakast from Bruegger's Bagels. Their bagels are alright, nothing fancy or special, but I really dig their cream cheese. I developed an affinity for vegetable cream cheese somewhere in my life, but it's not the kind of thing I would ever buy for myself, so I have to wait until I'm required to be at work super early and just collect on the garden veggie spread then. Bruegger's does a fine job with their garden veggie cream cheese - it has nice chunks of carrots and other bits of indeterminable vegetable matter, and it's just delicious on a plain bagel. Nice job, Bruegger's.

garden veggie cream cheese - A

TV Continuity

I think all TV shows should employ a continuity specialist, someone whose job it is to know past episodes and make sure that new episodes don't overlook or completely ignore something that's already been established.
Take ER, for example. I've been watching old episodes on TNT for the past week, and even though they're well into season 9, Carter made a Malucci reference just the other day - and Malucci was on during season 6! ER makes a lot of references to departed characters and story lines - I think they still mention Abby's crazy mother, and the show's in its 12th season.


Night Court, on the other hand, did a BAD job maintaining continuity. I haven't seen it in years, but I remember very distinctly that there was an episode where Roz the bailiff developed and was diagnosed with diabetes. I remember it so well because she wasn't going to be allowed to eat cake anymore, and even as a little girl, I had a deep and abiding love for cake. But after that episode - no more! I think I even saw Roz eating a doughnut once or twice after that. Bad move, Night Court.

I think bringing up old characters and story lines is a way to reward faithful viewers. It's a little treat when ER references something I already know about - it makes me feel special.

TV continuity - B (it's a good thing, but it always needs to be better)

It's An Honor

I was chosen Employee of the Era at work! It's very exciting. I must sweep really well.

There are two funny things about this: 1, I missed the meeting where they announced that I had won; and 2, I don't get my "award" (probably a Borders gift card) because my boss' credit card is maxed out and I have to wait until a payment is made.

And because I know you're wondering, it's Employee of the Era because we don't meet every month.

Employee of the Era - A- (now I have to live up to it)

Stop Already!

I hate when people crowd the intersection. To me, this is the epitome of rudeness. I'm pretty sure that basic traffic laws state that a driver should not continue through a green light if there is no room to make it through the intersection. Notice I said through a green light. If the whole lane of traffic on the other side of the intersection is full, a person should stop where he would stop for a red light.
I feel it's my duty to never crowd an intersection. I don't care if people honk at me - but I get really pissed off if the person behind me crowds through if there's just enough room for me, so then that guy is stuck in the middle of the intersection. Sometimes I hope that there's a fender bender, just so one or two people will get the lesson not to crowd. I might be a bad person for that.

As a side note, every time I type "intersection," my fingers automatically type "interlochen," and then I have to go back and erase. Some scars are invisible.

crowding the intersection - F

Just Call Me Suzy Homemaker

Today, I deep-cleaned my carpets with a Bissell PowerLifter. It was pretty sweet. I definitely dumped out several canisters of hot, dirty water, courtesy of my plush beige carpeting.
I don't think I'd want to own of these babies. It's cumbersome, and time-consuming, and I don't think that my apartment is big enough to merit a whole steam cleaner. With that said, my carpet looks and smells great, and I definitely won't object to borrowing my neighbor's parents' steam cleaner six months from now.

Bissell PowerLifter - B+

Wedding Post #4 - The Family

I told Natalie I could write for a week about the wedding, but I'm going end after this one, lest I bore my readers. I haven't even talked about the food, the flowers, or the venue, but trust me, they were awesome. That's all I have to say about that. I'm really very thrilled about Pat and Natalie being married. Obviously, from the picture, you can tell that Natalie's pretty thrilled, too! She's a lovely human being. I dig having a sister.
You can tell from the picture that Pat's pretty thrilled, too. I think in the South they call that a "shit-eating grin". Look at him! You can tell he's pleased with himself - and why shouldn't he be? He married a tall, gorgeous, talented, wonderful lady! Plus, he knows he looks good in a tux.

So the Strongs should be back from their honeymoon any minute now, and so begins a long and happy life together. Way to go!

Pat and Nat - A+

Wedding Post #3 - The Bridesmaids

There are a few things I don't like about weddings - the monetary expense, the weird cake, the feelings of inadequacy I used to experience. But if there's one thing that really, really bothers me, it's the bridesmaids dynamic. See, I'm one of those people that makes instant girlfriends. Throw me in a room with some girls and we'll be hugging inside an hour. And bridesmaids are the worst. You share this experience, you have at least one common friend, you're not sizing each other up because not only are you all wearing the same dress but you all look gorgeous - being a bridesmaid is the perfect opportunity to make instafriends. You talk about boobs and then you hug. It's awesome.
And then, you never see them again! Or at least, you never see them all together at the same time again. I hate that. Why is it that you meet these cool ladies, bond in an extremely fashionable way, maybe exchange an email or two after the wedding, sharing pictures, and then no more? My fellow bridesmaids were so awesome, and I bet I won't even get a Christmas card from any of them.

the bridesmaid phenomenon - C
the bridesmaids of P & N's wedding - A+

ps. look at how good we look with my blog - it's like those pashminas were made to order by naivehelga!

Cc:
Bcc:

Wedding Post #2 - The Tunes

Before I tell you about the music at this wedding, let me give you my list of all time worst wedding songs.

Papa Don't Preach - I'm keeping my baby!
Beast of Burden - not so much wanting to be referred to as a beast on my wedding day
I Will Survive - don't kick things off by saying you'll be OK without him
I Will Love You by Fisher - it's a beautiful song, but I'm bothered by the lyrics "And I need to know, will you stay for all time?" - shouldn't you have that figured out before the wedding?
theme from Star Wars - no theme weddings, ever

So, the tunes at P & N's wedding were a labor of love. They spent so much time working out the perfect music - we processed to a gorgeous arrangement of All I Want Is You by U2, and recessed to Don't Worry Baby by The Beach Boys. How great is that? And the reception tunage should have been just as awesome, and probably was, but I blame the DJ for not playing anything loud enough to be heard over the guests' chatter. Perhaps the CD I got as a wedding favor will fill me in on how good the music should have been.

wedding tunes - A- (bad DJ! bad!)

Wedding Post #1 - The Rash

Well, I'm back from the wedding, and as promised, here's more on the rash. As I've discussed earlier, I don't shower every day, and when I do, I usually only wash the crucial areas. Sometimes, though, I feeling like soaping up all over, so a few days ago, I did, using this White Cat soap that I got in Oklahoma. It's not a soap for cats, mind you. It's a soap that's supposed to be all goodness, and it does smell good... but maybe that should have been a sign. See, I can't use anything with fake fragrance, and believe me, White Cat smells awesome. So I washed my back and my chest, and I was nice and clean. Yay. The next day, I started breaking out. I thought it was zits from finals-related stress, but when I thought back to that shower, I realized that I had done this to myself. I suck. I popped several antihistamine during the course of the weekend, which stopped my itching, but I still had the spots all over my back and chest. I will not be posting a picture.
Moral of the story? There's a reason why bridal magazines and websites tell you not to change anything about two months before the wedding - no new products of any kind. If anyone had been looking at me, I might have been embarrassed... but why would anyone look at me when Natalie looked so beautiful?

White Cat soap - C+ (good for hands, bad for bodies)

The Event of the Century!

I'm off to the wedding! I won't be blogging until Sunday at the earliest, but I'm sure I'll have copious things to tell you afterwards - beginning with the rash I developed two days ago that will prevent me from looking my hottest in my strapless dress.

my bubba's wedding - A
my back rash - F

A Taste Sensation!

Pierre's Banana Buddies are DELICIOUS. They're frozen bananas dipped in dark chocolate, and I could eat a box of them in one sitting. I think they're kind of hard to find, but your neighborhood health food store probably has them, nestled between Rice Dream and Tofutti. If you're into dark chocolate, bananas, frozen treats, or things that are slightly phallic, you will love Banana Buddies.

Banana Buddies - B+ (only five come in a box)

Quote of the Day

Taken from my final paper for Development of American Literature (on which I received an A-/B+):

"You're struggling, Amanda, but valiantly."

Well, thank you, Professor Duncan!

my valiant struggle - obviously, A-/B+

Bad Theatre Geek! Bad!

I feel like such a chump. How could I not know that Sara Ramirez, who plays Callie Torres on Grey's Anatomy, is a BROADWAY SENSATION!? I mean, all this time, I thought she was some sassy Latina that GA, with its awesome racially diverse casting, found at some acting school or something, or just at an audition.
WRONG.
Where have I been? She was profiled in Entertainment Weekly last year. She trained at Juilliard. She won a Tony, for Pete's sake! And here I've been just thinking she was great. Now I know that she's GREAT. And she sure as hell can sing.

Sara, I never doubted you, but now my respect and admiration for you have grown. You just might be my new favorite young actor.

Sara Ramirez - A

What Can Brown Do For You?

Not much.

UPS has tried to deliver a package to me for several days now, and I'm never home when they come to my door. Yes, that's annoying - am I supposed to sit around and wait? - but it's not the worst part. UPS has decided that an adult must sign for this package. Now, the package is coming from my dad, and I know it doesn't have anything naughty or dangerous in it, and he certainly didn't say I needed to sign for it, so why did UPS decide it needed to be signed for? Why can't they just leave it outside my door? I even left them a note that said it was OK if they just left it, and signed it officially and everything, and they still didn't leave it. So today, I called to try to track down my package, and it was still in the truck, so I couldn't go pick it up at their distribution center, but even though I asked nicely, they wouldn't redeliver it, either.

UPS, you are on my shit list. If I don't get my package tomorrow, I will be very, very pissed.

UPS - D-

Hair Accessories

Target really let me down today. I was doing some last minute wedding accoutrement shopping, and was looking for some cute bobby pins or a fancy ponytail holder, something that I could use to make my hair look cute - and Target had nothing. They had plenty of trendy jewelry (I bought a big bead necklace), but no good hair accessories. Then, I tried Sally Beauty Supply, thinking they wold have something. I mean, they're a beauty supply store, they're supposed to have good barrettes and stuff! But they only had crap. Lots of fake hair, but none of it matched my hair, and it was either cuper curly or super spiky. So then I tried The Icing - it's an accessories store, and it's Prom season, so surely they'll have what I'm looking for, right? Nope. Lots of stuff, nothing good. I bought two things to try, but I thought I'd see what else the mall had to offer me.

And then I went to this crazy little kiosk in the middle of the mall, staffed by a heavily-made up Korean woman and a tiny blonde in a weird suit. Both of these ladies had about seven or eight fancy hair products EACH in their hair - the kiosk was selling Korean made, Austrian crystal-adorned hair accessories. Some of them were crazy - jeweled Hello Kitty barrettes, anyone? - but some of them were beautiful, and I left with a ponytail holder with this gorgeous black crystal flower attached. It might sound strange, but it's stunning, and I'll be able to do my own hair at Pat and Nat's wedding on Friday. Yay for me.

Target hair accessories - C-
Sally Beauty Supply hair accessories - D
The Icing hair accessories - B-
Korean/Austrian kiosk hair accessories - A-

Sure Signs of Spring

1. Wasps.
2. Boys playing frisbee on college lawns.
3. Flowering Bradford pear trees, or as like to call them, stank trees. I'm just going to say it - these trees smell like old sex. You know they do! They are beautiful when in flower, but damn, they smell bad.

wasps - C
boys playing frisbee - A-
stank trees - D

It's a Girl! And Another Girl With More Normal Parents!

As I'm sure everyone has heard by now, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise had their little baby yesterday morning. Her name is Suri. Let me go on record as saying I like the name Suri. And in a stunning coincedence, Brooke Shields, lambasted by Tom earlier this year for her battle with post-partum depression, had her baby yesterday, too, another little girl named Grier. Let me go on record as saying I love the name Grier.
Other blogs that I read have already begun calling this a battle of good vs. evil - Team Grier vs. Team Suri. Whose side are you on?

babies in general - A
silent birth - C
Brooke having another baby even though it might make her crazy again - A+
the Battle of the Babies - A

Mmmm, Sangria!

Most of you know I totally condone drinking in the daytime - it's so naughty! Any time you can do something in the daytime that you usually only do at night, there's an added thrill. I don't usually get to drink in the daytime, but today, my friend Joe brought me and my buddies some sangria. Usually, we get together after class (or instead of class, in some instances) to drink tea... not today! It was a delightful start to my morning. I'm not much of a wine drinker, particularly red wine, but the added fruit and sugar really kicked things up a notch.

sangria in the daytime - A

Check Your Facts!

School is almost over for the semester, but it is by no means slowing down. I have a final debate, two papers, an infomercial (of which I am the director), three finals, and a small group communication project. For the group project, I have the task of editing and compiling all the research done by the other group members - I have more confidence in my skills than I do in theirs, so I volunteered for this job. Now that I'm in the thick of it, things are getting a little wacky. Some of the kids in my group don't know how to do citations for research papers, so I said I'd take that on, too, as long as they provided me with the books, articles, and websites where they got their information. So tonight, as I was working on the reference page, I noticed that "Jenny" (not her real name, not even close) used the website zetatalk.com to find a definition on social isolation. It seemed a little casual for research - nothing like the American Health Care Association or the CDC - so I thought I'd check it out.
Turns out that zetatalk.com is a website devoted to interpreting the upcoming alien invasion. You know, the alien invasion? The one that's coming soon, apparently? The Zeta's emissary, Nancy, has been visited by aliens several times, beginning when she was a young girl, wearing blue coveralls while walking in a swamp. The Zetas discuss (through Nancy) things such as pole switching, alien-human hybrids (they're among us right now, you know), how to take care of pre-existing health concerns after the aliens take over the planet, that receiving a call from an alien is usually arranged pre-birth, and, of course, crop circles.

Okaaaaay?

So let this be a lesson to any of you doing research on the Internet - be very careful. Google searches are fine for some things, and really, really bad for others.

"Jenny's" awesome research mistake - B+

Lamb

In honor of the Easter holiday, I'm going to tell you about another book in my top twenty list (so that's The Eight, Barrel Fever, Kavalier and Clay, Sellevision, and now this one, if you're keeping track). Everyone needs to go RIGHT NOW and purchase Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. This book will knock your socks off. It's the story of the lost years of Jesus' life - the things the Bible missed - as told by Jesus' best friend Biff. In Lamb, you'll find out why there are bunnies at Easter, and just how Jesus multiplied the loaves and the fishes, and where he spent those years we don't normally hear about.
This book is perfection. It's hysterical, but kind of thought-provoking. I don't think Christopher Moore intends for it to be taken as a "new" gospel. It's fiction. But it's fiction that might make you think. Besides, everyone needs to read a hilarious buddy tale now and then, and this is the ultimate in buddy tales.
If you read nothing else this year, read Lamb. Yes, that's how much I love it. Actually, I can't believe I didn't write about it sooner!

Lamb - A+

It's Easter!

Dyeing Easter eggs is so much fun, but I don't really like hard-boiled eggs plain. I like them in stuff like tuna salad or giblet gravy on dressing at Thanksgiving, but I don't like them plain. So no dyed eggs for me this year.

Hope everyone is having a delightful day!

Easter eggs - B+

The One With The Proposal

Yesterday was one of those days where plans fall through, so I went to Blockbuster and rented some DVDs of Friends. I had never seen The One That Could Have Been, with successful Joey, stockbroker Phoebe and fat Monica, so I made sure I got that one, but I also got The One With The Proposal, my most favorite Friends episode. I'm a little bit romantic, so when Chandler walks into the apartment and Monica's standing there with all the candles lit, I get all teary and smiley. Oh, Chandler and Monica! I hope they and their twins are doing okay. There are so many other good things in the episode, too - Joey and his boat, the Mister Beaumont? So funny. Actually, Joey's the best part of the episode. I feel like Joey shows just how good an actor he is when he convinces Chandler that Monica is gone... and when Monica says "You wanted it to be a surprise" and Chandler turns to look at Joey, and Joey makes that little face? Oh, Joey! I love you!
Worst part of the episode? Chandler's hair. It's so gross. He needed a haircut this season.

The One With The Proposal - A

And Speaking of Augusten Burroughs...

His new book, Possible Side Effects, comes out May 2nd. I am super excited! I still don't own Magical Thinking, because I can't afford hardback books and I just haven't gotten around to buying it since it came out in paperback - but I'll go to the library on May 3rd and check out Possible Side Effects for sure, and then haunt Borders for six months until it comes out in paperback.

I love Augusten Burroughs. I alluded to a top twenty books of all time, and Sellevision is for sure in the top ten. Dry and Running with Scissors are probably in the top 50. I think he's so clever and horrifying all at once.

Possible Side Effects - I - I haven't read it, so can I say for sure?
Augusten Burroughs - A+

I Am Not Myself These Days

Just so everyone knows, I tried to blog yesterday, but I couldn't add any pictures, so I gave up. Sorry.

So, on to I Am Not Myself These Days. My good friend Charlie recommended this book on his blog. In the past, Charlie has recommended to me such books as Barrel Fever, The Eight, and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, all of which are in my top twenty of all time list, so I was super jazzed to read his latest recommendation. I wasn't disappointed, even though I didn't love the book as much as Charlie did. I Am Not Myself These Days is the story of Josh, a junior ad exec by day and highly successful drag queen by night, and his love affair with a male escort/crack addict. Now, I don't know much about crack, or advertising, or escorts, but I do love drag queens, so this book was a fun "insider's view" for me. I especially liked the section where Josh goes through his preparations to become Aqua. So vivid, and so funny!
I really liked IANMTD, but I think my loyalties lie with David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. I know my grades are not supposed to be based on comparisons - everything should get a stand-alone grade - but while I was reading the book I couldn't help but make comparisons, so I'm letting myself get away with it in this case.

I Am Not Myself These Days - A-

Poor Britney

I really feel bad for her. First, she drives all crazy with her baby on her lap, and DCFS goes to her house. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, there's a mishap with a high chair, Sean goes crashing to the ground, and now he has a skull fracture... and DCFS makes a SECOND visit to Chez Spears/Federline. So now everyone on the planet thinks that Brit-brit is a bad mama.

It's too bad we can't cut her any slack, because she's a celebrity and her every move is in the media. Therefore, she's our scapegoat. Sorry, Brit.

Britney's run of bad luck - C

A Little More Personal

I don't take a shower every day. Why should I? I don't do anything to get really dirty or stinky. It's bad for my skin, and bad for my hair. Plus, I think it's a waste of time. See, I'm a long showerer. I could easily spend over half an hour in the shower, if the hot water would last that long. I just can't justify spending that long in the shower every day. If there's a special occasion, or if I happen to get really dirty, I'll shower two days in a row, but otherwise, not gonna happen. I know that social conventions say that I'm in the wrong, that I should conform to the norm and shower every day, and maybe someday I will. It's just that that day isn't coming soon. And I'm okay with that.

my showering habits - A-
(anyone who thought I was going to be talking about Lindsay Lohan - A+)

Thank You For Smoking

This movie was great. I totally loved it. All the acting was superb, and the story line was excellent. As Nick Naylor, Aaron Eckhart was just snarky enough to be disgustingly lovable - he was so awesome. If this movie had come out a little later in the year, he'd be a Golden Globe contender for sure (with the comedy category, you know). His alcohol and firearms counterparts, Maria Bello and David Koechner, were FABULOUS. Maria was much better in this movie than in A History of Violence, and hotter, too. I'm considering her haircut for when I don't want long hair anymore.
I think my favorite part of the movie were the scenes with Rob Lowe and Adam Brody, playing a high-powered Hollywood agent and his assistant. Adam was delicious - he was so over-the-top eager, and Rob was the epitome of an agent cliche. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that William H. Macy said the long "c" word (my favorite swear word of all time, FYI). That's not something you see in every one of his movies, I guarantee!
Katie Holmes was kind of lame, but I think she's pretty lame in everything... and not that pretty. Why does she keep getting cast as the pretty ingenue? Something about her is less than plain to me. She's sort of... wide-eyed, in a scary way? Is it just me, or are her eyes REALLY far apart?
Now, I went into Thank You For Smoking having heard "this movie is SO funny. SOOOOO funny!", so I was expecting it to be really, really funny - like totally ridiculously funny. Well, let me dispel that myth. It's funny, really, really funny, and I certainly laughed out loud more than once, but it's not ridiculous at all. It's a thinking man's funny.
Trust me, you'll love it.

Thank You For Smoking - A

ps. yes, Charlie, I noticed the pie, but maybe only because you mentioned it first

A History of Violence

Now that I've seen A History of Violence, I understand why it was only nominated for two Oscars, and why it got those noms in the categories it did. It was a good movie, there's no doubt about that, but it just couldn't hold a candle to all the other great movies out last year. Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello were fine in their roles, although not quite believable. I could sort of tell they were acting, you know what I mean? Maybe in a different year, against less strong candidates, they could have pulled off noms, but they didn't really stand a chance this year, Viggo especially. I was really happy to see him not as Aragorn, and I think his day is coming, but this wasn't it.
William Hurt, on the other hand, was absolute perfection. He has six minutes of screen time, maybe seven, and I was in his clutches the moment he came on screen. He was totally brilliant, and even though I haven't seen Syriana, I'm going to say that William Hurt was robbed on Oscar night. He should have won. If you think you won't be into the whole movie, rent it just for those six or seven minutes. Ed Harris also kicked ass, but doesn't he always?
As for the violence: it's in there, in full force. It's brutal and horrifying, but completely necessary for the film. I think the violence was the best aspect of the movie. It catches you off guard every time it happens, and its magnitude draws you in and you can't tear your eyes away. I would say A History of Violence is not for the squeamish, but also not for fans of "action" violence. It's not stylized, it's graphic, but damn, it was powerful.

Overall, a good movie brough down a bit by some just average acting

A History of Violence - B

I Just Can't Quit You

(many thanks to Aaron Baker)

Teran? Ryri? Hatchcrest?

So the celeb rumor mill says that this kiss is totally fake. I agree. I think they look too artful to be real, yet not artful enough to be... real. It's a side hug with some lip action thrown in. There's no body contact going on. I don't buy.

Or maybe Ryan's into it, but Teri's not. Seriously, look at him. He's kind of eating her lip off. Sick.

Ryan and Teri - B-

Slither

It was brought to my attention last week that Nate hasn't picked out a movie we've seen in the theater since we moved to Ann Arbor. I rebutted with "We also haven't PAID to see a movie in the theater since we moved here" (I love my job). We saw Junebug, The Aristocrats, Brokeback Mountain, The Squid and the Whale, and Capote, all free, but all my choice. I figured I owed Nate a movie, so we went to see Slither over the weekend.

It. Was. AWESOME!

For real. This movie has it all: brain-sucking slugs, flesh-eating zombies, love, meteors, aliens, cursing, blood, birth, country line dancing, and even a lesbian. And it's funny! Actually laugh-out-loud funny. Who knew? The cast was excellent. Nathan Fillion (mmm, Nathan Fillion) plays the police chief, kind of an "aw shucks" guy with a foul mouth. Elizabeth Banks is Starla, the beautiful blonde teacher who the aliens/zombies/slugs love like a mother. These two are perfect. They should stop now before they mess up.

There were a couple super gross parts that made me almost want to puke, and that's not my favorite thing to happen at the movies. But overall, it's a damn fine movie. Pay the $9 and see it in the theater.

Slither - A-

I Hate Hash Bash

...and everything affiliated with Hash Bash. I hate white people with dreads, I hate glass pipes shaped like penises, I hate patchwork skirts and Bob Marley t-shirts, I hate crazy Dr. Seuss hats, I hate Stuchhi's ice cream and Funyuns, and I hate jam bands. They're boring and ridiculous - and they're so late '90s!

Remind me to go on vacation next year during the first weekend of April.

Hash Bash - D-

North American Security Summit? Riiiiiiiiight

There is NO WAY these guys are actually having a "security summit" in Cancun. This is North American Leader Spring Break. Stephen Harper is doing body shots off of Vicente Fox, and Bush is in the corner with a margarita bigger than his head, yelling "Show us your tits!"

Props to Fox for that super-fly hat.

the security summit IN CANCUN - C

Epson Printer

Nate bought a printer/scanner/copier yesterday, and it lives under my computer. This is kind of exciting. Before this, I had to save all of my documents to disk, take the disk into the playroom (Nate's weapons, music stuff and the video game set-up), and print from that computer. It's kind of a pain. Now, with a printer hooked up to my computer, I can print any damn thing I want, any time.
However, the printer came at an unreasonable cost: Nate and I got into a fight in Best Buy. Like assholes. There wasn't screaming or punching or anything, but it was gross. I hated it. People shouldn't fight about printers.

new printer: convenience, speed, overall delightfulness - A-
the fight the stupid printer caused - D
average grade - B-

ps. everything's fine now

Is It Any Wonder?

Aerosmith has cancelled the remaining dates of their tour because Steven Tyler has to have throat surgery. Is anyone surprised? He's been abusing his voice for years. I think he's pretty sweet, and I hope he comes through OK, but damn, maybe he should have thought of this before! I think it was that ridiculous note in "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" that put him over the edge. That's all I'm saying.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Steven!

celebrity throat surgery - C

Quiet Down Over There!

During one of my classes today, this guy sitting near me was breathing so loud I couldn't hear the professor speaking. It was unreal. He was breathing through his nose, but it was outrageously loud. Imagine if you will medium-loud snoring, the kind you typically hear at night from someone who has a cold. Now transfer this into your waking hours, sitting two feet away from someone "snoring." It was terrible. Maybe the guy has sinusitis, or maybe he's just a ridiculously loud breather. Either way, I hope he doesn't sit near me nest week.

loud breather - D+ (awarded a few sympathy points for illness, if that's the case)

Seriously?

Katie Holmes is going to have a SILENT BIRTH!? Is this even possible? I fully acknowledge that a stress-free, quiet, relaxed birthing environment would be better for both mother and baby, but come on! I would groan pushing an actual watermelon through an actual straw, to say nothing of doing that euphemistically near my pink parts. I can't even comprehend not groaning a little while giving birth. Nuh-unh. Not possible.

Mothers, speak out - what do you think? Did you make noise, even a little, when you had your precious babies?

silent birth - C-

Wook at da Wittle Kitty!

Sometimes I think we go through life with blinders on, impervious to cuteness. I aim to stamp out that problem, one kitten at a time, starting with this wittle guy. Just wook at 'im! Ee's toe CUTE! YES HE IS! YES HE IS!

Kittens - B+