Wedding Post #1 - The Rash

Well, I'm back from the wedding, and as promised, here's more on the rash. As I've discussed earlier, I don't shower every day, and when I do, I usually only wash the crucial areas. Sometimes, though, I feeling like soaping up all over, so a few days ago, I did, using this White Cat soap that I got in Oklahoma. It's not a soap for cats, mind you. It's a soap that's supposed to be all goodness, and it does smell good... but maybe that should have been a sign. See, I can't use anything with fake fragrance, and believe me, White Cat smells awesome. So I washed my back and my chest, and I was nice and clean. Yay. The next day, I started breaking out. I thought it was zits from finals-related stress, but when I thought back to that shower, I realized that I had done this to myself. I suck. I popped several antihistamine during the course of the weekend, which stopped my itching, but I still had the spots all over my back and chest. I will not be posting a picture.
Moral of the story? There's a reason why bridal magazines and websites tell you not to change anything about two months before the wedding - no new products of any kind. If anyone had been looking at me, I might have been embarrassed... but why would anyone look at me when Natalie looked so beautiful?

White Cat soap - C+ (good for hands, bad for bodies)

The Event of the Century!

I'm off to the wedding! I won't be blogging until Sunday at the earliest, but I'm sure I'll have copious things to tell you afterwards - beginning with the rash I developed two days ago that will prevent me from looking my hottest in my strapless dress.

my bubba's wedding - A
my back rash - F

A Taste Sensation!

Pierre's Banana Buddies are DELICIOUS. They're frozen bananas dipped in dark chocolate, and I could eat a box of them in one sitting. I think they're kind of hard to find, but your neighborhood health food store probably has them, nestled between Rice Dream and Tofutti. If you're into dark chocolate, bananas, frozen treats, or things that are slightly phallic, you will love Banana Buddies.

Banana Buddies - B+ (only five come in a box)

Quote of the Day

Taken from my final paper for Development of American Literature (on which I received an A-/B+):

"You're struggling, Amanda, but valiantly."

Well, thank you, Professor Duncan!

my valiant struggle - obviously, A-/B+

Bad Theatre Geek! Bad!

I feel like such a chump. How could I not know that Sara Ramirez, who plays Callie Torres on Grey's Anatomy, is a BROADWAY SENSATION!? I mean, all this time, I thought she was some sassy Latina that GA, with its awesome racially diverse casting, found at some acting school or something, or just at an audition.
WRONG.
Where have I been? She was profiled in Entertainment Weekly last year. She trained at Juilliard. She won a Tony, for Pete's sake! And here I've been just thinking she was great. Now I know that she's GREAT. And she sure as hell can sing.

Sara, I never doubted you, but now my respect and admiration for you have grown. You just might be my new favorite young actor.

Sara Ramirez - A

What Can Brown Do For You?

Not much.

UPS has tried to deliver a package to me for several days now, and I'm never home when they come to my door. Yes, that's annoying - am I supposed to sit around and wait? - but it's not the worst part. UPS has decided that an adult must sign for this package. Now, the package is coming from my dad, and I know it doesn't have anything naughty or dangerous in it, and he certainly didn't say I needed to sign for it, so why did UPS decide it needed to be signed for? Why can't they just leave it outside my door? I even left them a note that said it was OK if they just left it, and signed it officially and everything, and they still didn't leave it. So today, I called to try to track down my package, and it was still in the truck, so I couldn't go pick it up at their distribution center, but even though I asked nicely, they wouldn't redeliver it, either.

UPS, you are on my shit list. If I don't get my package tomorrow, I will be very, very pissed.

UPS - D-

Hair Accessories

Target really let me down today. I was doing some last minute wedding accoutrement shopping, and was looking for some cute bobby pins or a fancy ponytail holder, something that I could use to make my hair look cute - and Target had nothing. They had plenty of trendy jewelry (I bought a big bead necklace), but no good hair accessories. Then, I tried Sally Beauty Supply, thinking they wold have something. I mean, they're a beauty supply store, they're supposed to have good barrettes and stuff! But they only had crap. Lots of fake hair, but none of it matched my hair, and it was either cuper curly or super spiky. So then I tried The Icing - it's an accessories store, and it's Prom season, so surely they'll have what I'm looking for, right? Nope. Lots of stuff, nothing good. I bought two things to try, but I thought I'd see what else the mall had to offer me.

And then I went to this crazy little kiosk in the middle of the mall, staffed by a heavily-made up Korean woman and a tiny blonde in a weird suit. Both of these ladies had about seven or eight fancy hair products EACH in their hair - the kiosk was selling Korean made, Austrian crystal-adorned hair accessories. Some of them were crazy - jeweled Hello Kitty barrettes, anyone? - but some of them were beautiful, and I left with a ponytail holder with this gorgeous black crystal flower attached. It might sound strange, but it's stunning, and I'll be able to do my own hair at Pat and Nat's wedding on Friday. Yay for me.

Target hair accessories - C-
Sally Beauty Supply hair accessories - D
The Icing hair accessories - B-
Korean/Austrian kiosk hair accessories - A-

Sure Signs of Spring

1. Wasps.
2. Boys playing frisbee on college lawns.
3. Flowering Bradford pear trees, or as like to call them, stank trees. I'm just going to say it - these trees smell like old sex. You know they do! They are beautiful when in flower, but damn, they smell bad.

wasps - C
boys playing frisbee - A-
stank trees - D

It's a Girl! And Another Girl With More Normal Parents!

As I'm sure everyone has heard by now, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise had their little baby yesterday morning. Her name is Suri. Let me go on record as saying I like the name Suri. And in a stunning coincedence, Brooke Shields, lambasted by Tom earlier this year for her battle with post-partum depression, had her baby yesterday, too, another little girl named Grier. Let me go on record as saying I love the name Grier.
Other blogs that I read have already begun calling this a battle of good vs. evil - Team Grier vs. Team Suri. Whose side are you on?

babies in general - A
silent birth - C
Brooke having another baby even though it might make her crazy again - A+
the Battle of the Babies - A

Mmmm, Sangria!

Most of you know I totally condone drinking in the daytime - it's so naughty! Any time you can do something in the daytime that you usually only do at night, there's an added thrill. I don't usually get to drink in the daytime, but today, my friend Joe brought me and my buddies some sangria. Usually, we get together after class (or instead of class, in some instances) to drink tea... not today! It was a delightful start to my morning. I'm not much of a wine drinker, particularly red wine, but the added fruit and sugar really kicked things up a notch.

sangria in the daytime - A

Check Your Facts!

School is almost over for the semester, but it is by no means slowing down. I have a final debate, two papers, an infomercial (of which I am the director), three finals, and a small group communication project. For the group project, I have the task of editing and compiling all the research done by the other group members - I have more confidence in my skills than I do in theirs, so I volunteered for this job. Now that I'm in the thick of it, things are getting a little wacky. Some of the kids in my group don't know how to do citations for research papers, so I said I'd take that on, too, as long as they provided me with the books, articles, and websites where they got their information. So tonight, as I was working on the reference page, I noticed that "Jenny" (not her real name, not even close) used the website zetatalk.com to find a definition on social isolation. It seemed a little casual for research - nothing like the American Health Care Association or the CDC - so I thought I'd check it out.
Turns out that zetatalk.com is a website devoted to interpreting the upcoming alien invasion. You know, the alien invasion? The one that's coming soon, apparently? The Zeta's emissary, Nancy, has been visited by aliens several times, beginning when she was a young girl, wearing blue coveralls while walking in a swamp. The Zetas discuss (through Nancy) things such as pole switching, alien-human hybrids (they're among us right now, you know), how to take care of pre-existing health concerns after the aliens take over the planet, that receiving a call from an alien is usually arranged pre-birth, and, of course, crop circles.

Okaaaaay?

So let this be a lesson to any of you doing research on the Internet - be very careful. Google searches are fine for some things, and really, really bad for others.

"Jenny's" awesome research mistake - B+

Lamb

In honor of the Easter holiday, I'm going to tell you about another book in my top twenty list (so that's The Eight, Barrel Fever, Kavalier and Clay, Sellevision, and now this one, if you're keeping track). Everyone needs to go RIGHT NOW and purchase Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. This book will knock your socks off. It's the story of the lost years of Jesus' life - the things the Bible missed - as told by Jesus' best friend Biff. In Lamb, you'll find out why there are bunnies at Easter, and just how Jesus multiplied the loaves and the fishes, and where he spent those years we don't normally hear about.
This book is perfection. It's hysterical, but kind of thought-provoking. I don't think Christopher Moore intends for it to be taken as a "new" gospel. It's fiction. But it's fiction that might make you think. Besides, everyone needs to read a hilarious buddy tale now and then, and this is the ultimate in buddy tales.
If you read nothing else this year, read Lamb. Yes, that's how much I love it. Actually, I can't believe I didn't write about it sooner!

Lamb - A+

It's Easter!

Dyeing Easter eggs is so much fun, but I don't really like hard-boiled eggs plain. I like them in stuff like tuna salad or giblet gravy on dressing at Thanksgiving, but I don't like them plain. So no dyed eggs for me this year.

Hope everyone is having a delightful day!

Easter eggs - B+

The One With The Proposal

Yesterday was one of those days where plans fall through, so I went to Blockbuster and rented some DVDs of Friends. I had never seen The One That Could Have Been, with successful Joey, stockbroker Phoebe and fat Monica, so I made sure I got that one, but I also got The One With The Proposal, my most favorite Friends episode. I'm a little bit romantic, so when Chandler walks into the apartment and Monica's standing there with all the candles lit, I get all teary and smiley. Oh, Chandler and Monica! I hope they and their twins are doing okay. There are so many other good things in the episode, too - Joey and his boat, the Mister Beaumont? So funny. Actually, Joey's the best part of the episode. I feel like Joey shows just how good an actor he is when he convinces Chandler that Monica is gone... and when Monica says "You wanted it to be a surprise" and Chandler turns to look at Joey, and Joey makes that little face? Oh, Joey! I love you!
Worst part of the episode? Chandler's hair. It's so gross. He needed a haircut this season.

The One With The Proposal - A

And Speaking of Augusten Burroughs...

His new book, Possible Side Effects, comes out May 2nd. I am super excited! I still don't own Magical Thinking, because I can't afford hardback books and I just haven't gotten around to buying it since it came out in paperback - but I'll go to the library on May 3rd and check out Possible Side Effects for sure, and then haunt Borders for six months until it comes out in paperback.

I love Augusten Burroughs. I alluded to a top twenty books of all time, and Sellevision is for sure in the top ten. Dry and Running with Scissors are probably in the top 50. I think he's so clever and horrifying all at once.

Possible Side Effects - I - I haven't read it, so can I say for sure?
Augusten Burroughs - A+

I Am Not Myself These Days

Just so everyone knows, I tried to blog yesterday, but I couldn't add any pictures, so I gave up. Sorry.

So, on to I Am Not Myself These Days. My good friend Charlie recommended this book on his blog. In the past, Charlie has recommended to me such books as Barrel Fever, The Eight, and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, all of which are in my top twenty of all time list, so I was super jazzed to read his latest recommendation. I wasn't disappointed, even though I didn't love the book as much as Charlie did. I Am Not Myself These Days is the story of Josh, a junior ad exec by day and highly successful drag queen by night, and his love affair with a male escort/crack addict. Now, I don't know much about crack, or advertising, or escorts, but I do love drag queens, so this book was a fun "insider's view" for me. I especially liked the section where Josh goes through his preparations to become Aqua. So vivid, and so funny!
I really liked IANMTD, but I think my loyalties lie with David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. I know my grades are not supposed to be based on comparisons - everything should get a stand-alone grade - but while I was reading the book I couldn't help but make comparisons, so I'm letting myself get away with it in this case.

I Am Not Myself These Days - A-

Poor Britney

I really feel bad for her. First, she drives all crazy with her baby on her lap, and DCFS goes to her house. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, there's a mishap with a high chair, Sean goes crashing to the ground, and now he has a skull fracture... and DCFS makes a SECOND visit to Chez Spears/Federline. So now everyone on the planet thinks that Brit-brit is a bad mama.

It's too bad we can't cut her any slack, because she's a celebrity and her every move is in the media. Therefore, she's our scapegoat. Sorry, Brit.

Britney's run of bad luck - C

A Little More Personal

I don't take a shower every day. Why should I? I don't do anything to get really dirty or stinky. It's bad for my skin, and bad for my hair. Plus, I think it's a waste of time. See, I'm a long showerer. I could easily spend over half an hour in the shower, if the hot water would last that long. I just can't justify spending that long in the shower every day. If there's a special occasion, or if I happen to get really dirty, I'll shower two days in a row, but otherwise, not gonna happen. I know that social conventions say that I'm in the wrong, that I should conform to the norm and shower every day, and maybe someday I will. It's just that that day isn't coming soon. And I'm okay with that.

my showering habits - A-
(anyone who thought I was going to be talking about Lindsay Lohan - A+)

Thank You For Smoking

This movie was great. I totally loved it. All the acting was superb, and the story line was excellent. As Nick Naylor, Aaron Eckhart was just snarky enough to be disgustingly lovable - he was so awesome. If this movie had come out a little later in the year, he'd be a Golden Globe contender for sure (with the comedy category, you know). His alcohol and firearms counterparts, Maria Bello and David Koechner, were FABULOUS. Maria was much better in this movie than in A History of Violence, and hotter, too. I'm considering her haircut for when I don't want long hair anymore.
I think my favorite part of the movie were the scenes with Rob Lowe and Adam Brody, playing a high-powered Hollywood agent and his assistant. Adam was delicious - he was so over-the-top eager, and Rob was the epitome of an agent cliche. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that William H. Macy said the long "c" word (my favorite swear word of all time, FYI). That's not something you see in every one of his movies, I guarantee!
Katie Holmes was kind of lame, but I think she's pretty lame in everything... and not that pretty. Why does she keep getting cast as the pretty ingenue? Something about her is less than plain to me. She's sort of... wide-eyed, in a scary way? Is it just me, or are her eyes REALLY far apart?
Now, I went into Thank You For Smoking having heard "this movie is SO funny. SOOOOO funny!", so I was expecting it to be really, really funny - like totally ridiculously funny. Well, let me dispel that myth. It's funny, really, really funny, and I certainly laughed out loud more than once, but it's not ridiculous at all. It's a thinking man's funny.
Trust me, you'll love it.

Thank You For Smoking - A

ps. yes, Charlie, I noticed the pie, but maybe only because you mentioned it first

A History of Violence

Now that I've seen A History of Violence, I understand why it was only nominated for two Oscars, and why it got those noms in the categories it did. It was a good movie, there's no doubt about that, but it just couldn't hold a candle to all the other great movies out last year. Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello were fine in their roles, although not quite believable. I could sort of tell they were acting, you know what I mean? Maybe in a different year, against less strong candidates, they could have pulled off noms, but they didn't really stand a chance this year, Viggo especially. I was really happy to see him not as Aragorn, and I think his day is coming, but this wasn't it.
William Hurt, on the other hand, was absolute perfection. He has six minutes of screen time, maybe seven, and I was in his clutches the moment he came on screen. He was totally brilliant, and even though I haven't seen Syriana, I'm going to say that William Hurt was robbed on Oscar night. He should have won. If you think you won't be into the whole movie, rent it just for those six or seven minutes. Ed Harris also kicked ass, but doesn't he always?
As for the violence: it's in there, in full force. It's brutal and horrifying, but completely necessary for the film. I think the violence was the best aspect of the movie. It catches you off guard every time it happens, and its magnitude draws you in and you can't tear your eyes away. I would say A History of Violence is not for the squeamish, but also not for fans of "action" violence. It's not stylized, it's graphic, but damn, it was powerful.

Overall, a good movie brough down a bit by some just average acting

A History of Violence - B

I Just Can't Quit You

(many thanks to Aaron Baker)

Teran? Ryri? Hatchcrest?

So the celeb rumor mill says that this kiss is totally fake. I agree. I think they look too artful to be real, yet not artful enough to be... real. It's a side hug with some lip action thrown in. There's no body contact going on. I don't buy.

Or maybe Ryan's into it, but Teri's not. Seriously, look at him. He's kind of eating her lip off. Sick.

Ryan and Teri - B-

Slither

It was brought to my attention last week that Nate hasn't picked out a movie we've seen in the theater since we moved to Ann Arbor. I rebutted with "We also haven't PAID to see a movie in the theater since we moved here" (I love my job). We saw Junebug, The Aristocrats, Brokeback Mountain, The Squid and the Whale, and Capote, all free, but all my choice. I figured I owed Nate a movie, so we went to see Slither over the weekend.

It. Was. AWESOME!

For real. This movie has it all: brain-sucking slugs, flesh-eating zombies, love, meteors, aliens, cursing, blood, birth, country line dancing, and even a lesbian. And it's funny! Actually laugh-out-loud funny. Who knew? The cast was excellent. Nathan Fillion (mmm, Nathan Fillion) plays the police chief, kind of an "aw shucks" guy with a foul mouth. Elizabeth Banks is Starla, the beautiful blonde teacher who the aliens/zombies/slugs love like a mother. These two are perfect. They should stop now before they mess up.

There were a couple super gross parts that made me almost want to puke, and that's not my favorite thing to happen at the movies. But overall, it's a damn fine movie. Pay the $9 and see it in the theater.

Slither - A-

I Hate Hash Bash

...and everything affiliated with Hash Bash. I hate white people with dreads, I hate glass pipes shaped like penises, I hate patchwork skirts and Bob Marley t-shirts, I hate crazy Dr. Seuss hats, I hate Stuchhi's ice cream and Funyuns, and I hate jam bands. They're boring and ridiculous - and they're so late '90s!

Remind me to go on vacation next year during the first weekend of April.

Hash Bash - D-