Lindsay Lohan "Confessions of a Broken Heart" Video

Here's the trouble with Lindsay's new video: throughout most of it, she is sitting on the floor of a bathroom in an obviously expensive gown. Hello? You do NOT sit on the floor of a bathroom in an evening gown!

There's a lot of other trouble with this video, too. First of all, the dress is hideous - it has the craziest neckline and it's purple and yellow. Ick. Also, there's lots of screaming and crying and pounding of hands on walls. Double ick. Finally, Little Lohan makes an appearance, playing... her older sister! I'll admit, the resemblance is staggering, but please, please, Little Lohan, don't turn out like your sister. Redheads everywhere are begging you. The video is pretty trite, but Lindsay directed it herself. Truth be told, it's not bad for a first attempt by a 19-year-old. The song itself is also mediocre. We all get that Linds and her dad don't have the best relationship, but that seems like the sort of thing they should be working out in therapy, not on MTV.

I'm wrapping up today's post with a little game for us to play. Lindsay appeared in the movie "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." Her new song is "Confessions of a Broken Heart." What do you think Lindsay's next confession will be?

"Confessions of a Broken Heart" video - C -

City of Lost Children

I did not understand this movie. For those of you smarty-pantses out there who've seen it, maybe you can break it down for me. I mean, I got it - mad scientist, band of pickpocketing kids, simple yet enormous Russian searching for his kidnapped brother, Siamese twins - but I so did not get it all at the same time. There were just too many plots happening at once for me. I love a good subplot or two, but there were about six or seven in this movie, and not all of them resolved enough for me. Also, I'll have to disagree with those folks who say that this film is a visual masterpiece. There were interesting concepts, sure, but overall, it was just too muddy and brown. Finally, what was going on between Miette and Ron Perlman? They were kind of creepy close - I kept thinking they were going to make out.

City of Lost Children - D+

Oh Hell No

Wedding Singer on Broadway

According to the New York Times, the producers of Hairspray will be bringing New Jersey of the 1980's to the stage with a musical adaptation of the movie "The Wedding Singer." The movie, released in 1998, starred Adam Sandler as a wedding singer who is stood up at the altar. He then finds the love of his life, but she is engaged to someone else. The movie is very funny, but much of its nostalgic charm, for me, is from its '80's soundtrack with songs like “99 Luft Balloons,” "Der Kommissar," and "Too Shy." Sadly, the musical will be getting original lyrics and music. At least they are leaving the original songs from the movie, "Grow Old With You" and "Somebody Kill Me."

Mamma Mia was a good idea - fairly original at the time, taking pop songs and turning them into a musical (I haven't seen it, but I've heard there's an actual plot). Then came Footloose, using the original music from the movie and making it a musical. And then there was Movin' Out, and a John Lennon musical that seems to have fallen through, and a Producers musical based on a movie, and now that musical is being turned into a new movie. And now The Wedding Singer: The Musical? You must be joking. Are there no original plot ideas any more? Are we going to end up with Rambo: First Blood: The Musical? All those budding musical theatre composers are going to be out of work if we keep borrowing ideas from pre-existing sources. And The Wedding Singer wasn't even that great! Why? Why?

The Wedding Singer: The Musical - D+

Krispy Kreme

Saturday morning. A time for sleeping late, watching cartoons, and eating the most delicious breakfast on the planet - Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It's actually been months since I've had a Krispy Kreme, but I think about them almost every Saturday. There's just something special about a Krispy Kreme doughnut. They are the standard by which all doughnuts are measured.
Aside from amazingly great taste, there's something else special about Krispy Kreme doughnuts - their ability to bring people together. Once you've had a Krispy Kreme experience with someone, you share a bond that can never be broken. Ashlee in Memphis? Sara in Oklahoma City? Dustin, Paul and Ashley in Atlanta? Scott in Flint? Lifelong friends. Maybe not entirely because of Krispy Kreme, but I would be lying if I said a doughnut didn't play a role in those relationships.

Krispy Kreme - A- (why the minus? no KK in AA)

Madonna "Hung Up" Video

Our morning video exchange:
Amanda - "Wow, she is making love to that radio."
Nate - "Oh, she's not making love."
Madonna totally humps a stereo in this video. Super grind and super hump. I'm telling you what. But that's not all! She wears a sweet '80s dance outfit, has amazing back-up dancers, and samples an ABBA song. I love ABBA, more than I love Madonna, so this is super exciting for me.
What I like the most about this video is that it's not super-formulaic like most of the other videos I see in the morning. Sure, she dances with hot younger guys, and there's a shot of Madonna walking in rhythm to the music, but that's okay. I can handle that. And the song is good, too. It's nice when song and video line up in goodness.

"Hung Up" video - B+ (sure, it's good, but it's no "Like A Prayer" or "Express Yourself")

Los Galanes

Finally. Good Mexican food. On yesterday's field trip, I and some others snuck away from the bakery (we were instructed to smell - hello? you can't put food in front of me and expect me to just smell!) and walked across the street to Los Galanes. I ordered tamales.. and they were perfect. My tamales came with rice and beans... and they were perfect, too. I almost cried on the bus, eating my delicious Mexican lunch. Even though the whole field trip was bizarre and a bust, my tamales carried me through. I'm not sure if they were good enough to merit a trip to Mexicantown, but if I'm ever back in that neck of the woods, I will stop there for sure, order something a little messier, and throw back a margarita or two.

Los Galanes - A-

Michigan Central Depot

I went on a field trip today with one of my education classes. We stopped very briefly at a multi-cultural high school in Detroit, and then spent about an hour and a half at a total immersion bilingual elementary school. But then the real fun began - we went on a "tour" of Detroit to get a feel for poverty and what some of the kids we met today might see on their way to school. First stop: Michigan Central Depot, the old abandoned train station in Detroit. As you can see from the picture, it's very big, and very beautiful. What you might not be able to tell is just how run-down it is. Every single window was broken; there's a barbed-wire fence around the whole place; we walked around it a little bit and I felt like I was in Croatia or Iraq or some other bombed-out war zone. In a way, I guess I was. I also saw a dead raccoon. That was awesome.
My thoughts on today's events: had we been a class of phtographers, it would have been an amazing day - I saw so many things beautiful and interesting places that I wanted to take pictures of. The in-classroom experience, however, was minimal and I think my professor just did that part because she had to; you could tell that getting to Mexicantown was the most important thing to her... but more on that later.

Michigan Central Depot - B-

A Million Little Pieces

This book is tough. The writing style is different, no real paragraphs and no punctuation other than periods, and the subject matter is really, really hard to handle at times - the passage about oral surgery without anesthesia or painkillers made all my pink parts crawl up inside. But it's really good, too. I've never read anything like it. I think it gives a real portrayal of what life as an addict is like, without any frills or happy endings. I still like Augusten Burroughs' rehab story better; it's just more entertaining. I think that's James Frey's point, though - rehab isn't fun or entertaining. It's brutal and awful.
This is Oprah's latest Book Club selection, which means that in about three months, there are going to be thousands of copies in used book stores. If you can hold out, you'll save a few bucks, and we can talk more about the book then.

A Million Little Pieces - A-

'Tis The Season

As fall turns fall-er and winter starts to seem like a real possibility, millions of girls across the country put away their flip-flops and get out their Uggs (or Fuggs, if you can't afford the real ones) - and with this weather-related fashion switch comes the inability to pick up one's feet when one walks. You know you're getting old when shuffling feet really annoy you; in that case, I am really, really old. As one who has tried on the real ones and owns some fake ones, I can say that they're not that heavy. They're not like, say, cement blocks wrapped in sheepskin. They're just boots! Pick up your feet when you walk! PICK UP YOUR FEET! I know I'm not alone out there. This annoys lots of people. They just don't say anything about it. Instead, they silently fume and curse the good folks at Ugg and the celebrities who sparked this trend (as you can tell, I silently fume when I'm in public - I just rant to you, my fine readers).

However, with that said, I am SO in love with these orange Uggs, and all for the low low price of $105 on eBay. Does anyone out there owe me a really great Christmas present? I wear an 8.

Uggs - B (I heard they're out of style); the Ugg Shuffle - D

Black Eyed Peas "My Humps" Video

I can't say enough about this video. Too bad for the Black Eyed Peas, 'cause it's all bad. This video is just awful, and the song is no better. Fergie is just gyrating all over the place, talking about her "hump" and her "lovely lady lumps." LOVELY LADY LUMPS!? Gross! Whether she's talking about tits or ass, that has to be the foulest euphemism ever.
Here are some details for you non-video watchers: Fergie and her dancers are showing off their "ice," label-dropping and waving their long and nasty fingernails all over the place. Periodically, the BEP guys sing about spending, and then Fergie replies with "I'm-a get get get get you drunk, get you drunk, off my hump, my hump my hump my hump..." and so on. Not pretty. There's writhing and dancing hoochies and it's just lame, and it comes on every morning. Worst of all, it's catchy. I sing it in my head all the time, and then I feel bad about myself.

My Humps - C-

New Titanic DVD

Okay, this is great - I'm all for extended scenes and deleted scenes and director commentary and all that. There's just one thing that bothers me - an alternate ending. Um, James Cameron? There can only be one ending. The ship sinks. The end.

New Titanic DVD - B+

Look At Those Choppers, Part Two

This is Giada De Laurentiis, host of Behind the Bash on Food Network. Giada has the biggest mouth I've ever seen. She scares me a little. Sure, she's beuatiful, but damn, that mought is huge. It's not surprising that she's a foodie - she must have more taste buds than the average human. I can't watch her show. Even the commercials are frightening - she flashes those pearly whites and I cringe.

Giada's big smile - B-

whoa.

Count me in on the "SUVs are unsafe" bandwagon. Last night, as Nate and I were walking to our car from a wedding reception, we heard this bang, turned around, and saw the following: a station wagon skid crazily through the intersection, and an SUV skid sideways, fly, and flip over and land upside down. It was probably one of the scariest things I've ever seen (and remember, I once hit a guy on a motorcycle). That SUV was so heavy, and must have been going pretty fast, to get air like that. Yikes. If I'm ever in the market to buy an SUV, I will check that crash test rating pretty seriously.

Car accidents - F

And Many More...

Somebody had a birthday yesterday, and there was free dinner and new cookware and lots of fun and festivity. good times.

Nate's birthday - A- (I didn't put too much thought into his gift and I don't think he likes it that much)

Desperate Housewives DVD

You all know that I love Desperate Housewives, but even I didn't know how much I loved it until I saw the first four episodes (I was a late joiner and didn't start watching until mid-season). It's so good! So many things happened in those first four episodes that influenced later episodes that I was completely unaware of - Edie's house fire, those demon Scavo boys painting that little girl, the assault of the gay cable guy, that awesome dinner party, evil Mrs. Huber... and many, many more. I already rented the next four episodes and can't wait to get crackin' on them.

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to the creator of TV series on DVD, and perhaps the creator of DVDs in general. There is no better way to watch TV than to watch it on DVD. No commercials, no waiting, streamlined episode length. Good job, fellas.

Desperate Housewives DVD - A

Why Gay Is Good

Because no straight man would ever have this party:

SKANKSGIVING!

Come and look as skanky as you can. Get the skankiness out of you before many of you head home for a wholesome family Thanksgiving. As usual, we will have some snacks like cheese doodles and basic booze options, but bring your favorite beverage to share. Can't wait to see all you nasty hos!!!

Dictionary.com desribes a skank as "One who is digustingly foul or filthy and often considered sexually promiscuous."Think: Taradise, Xtina, B Spears and K-Fed, Lil Kim, Janice Dickerson.

Skanksgiving, along with gay-hosted theme parties in general - A

The Bottom of the World

I just might have a new favorite blog - The Bottom of the World. Here's the story:

"The background: I have accepted a position as "Dining Room Attendant" at McMurdo Station, Antarctica, where I will be washing the dishes of National Science Foundation scientists. I will join about 1,000 other people on the station, where we'll live in dorm-like rooms, eat from a cafeteria, and share the same 24-hours of Antarctic sunlight. My first day will be October 1, where I'll fly from St. Louis to LA to Christchurch, New Zealand. After a one-day orientation, we'll all head down to McMurdo on a 7 hour flight. I won't leave again until February 28, 2006."

Erin, friend of my friend Tim, I salute you. In fact, I kind of want to be you.

Read The Bottom of the World - link from my blog coming very soon.

The Bottom of the World - A

I Try To Cook

This petit red lentil soup is one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten... when Natalie makes it. When I make it, it's just not the same. It's still delicious - those tiny lentils have a lovely flavor, and all the chicken stock and onion and garlic add a little something nice - but something is missing and I can't figure out what it is. I would not win Iron Chef with this soup. Iron Chef Chen Kenichi would stomp all over me in a petit red lentil battle. I will not let this soup get the best of me!
Check back for soup updates in the future.


Petit Red Lentil Soup, Natalie - A
Petit Red Lentil Soup, Amanda - B+

How Much Can YOU Spare?

Creative Panhandling - A

And Speaking of Internet Popularity Contests...

I have added a site meter to my blog. I think I'm only going to leave it up for a week or two, but it will be fun to see how many people visit my blog a day. Of course, I know some of you are visiting more than once a day, so the numbers will be skewed... but that's okay!

Site Meter - B- (really, I'm sort of ashamed that I'm doing it)